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Not sure what to tell DH...

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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September 29th, 2010, 06:02 AM
sethsgirl's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: SC
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Hi ladies. I just gt a positive pregnancy test this morning. I have no clue what to tell DH. He made a comment a few days ago about how he now wanted to wait until he was on shore duty before we started trying for our next...that's in a little over a year and a half from now. I know he won't be happy, at least not at first. Honestly I'm pretty shocked right now since it took 14 months of TTC to concieve our DS and I was on the mini pill when I'm pretty sure we conceived so I'm nervous that it will cause problems (I stopped taking it, my last day was the 20th since I picked up my diaphragm on the 21st). Anyway if anyone has any ideas on how to tell DH I'm more than open to hearing opinions since I've been playing sinarios over and over in my head since I took the test about 2 hours ago. Thanks!

P.S. If you're on my facebook Please Please Please don't say anything on there!
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September 29th, 2010, 09:49 AM
Caalypso's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Sherbrooke, Quebec
Posts: 251
Hey! I remember you from the Am I pregnant board and from before you got pregnant with your little guy (who is a cutie btw) - I was just lurking on the main board and saw your name!
If it were me, i'd just try and tell him in a cute way with a big brother onesie for your little guy or something. Even though he might not be thrilled at first, i'm sure he'll come around... just the fact that you conceived so easily after having such a hard time the first time around, i'm sure he'll come to see that this pregnancy is a blessing Hope it goes well!

** and major congrats mama

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September 29th, 2010, 12:03 PM
luvmyabsolute's Avatar Super Mommy
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Location: Southern Ohio
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I got pregnant with my DD around the same age your DS is right now. They are now ages 17 months and 3 and they are like best friends (most of the time). Hopefully you will get lucky like I did. My two keep each other occupied. They like the same shows and toys so I think in a way makes it a little easier, since they are not fighting over things as much. My DS also helped me out when I first had her. He would bring me burp rags and toys for her. I think you DH will be okay..if not whats done is done and im sure the new little one will be a wonderful blessing!

*!*!*Thank you Vicki... For my Great Siggie*!*!*

Make a pregnancy ticker
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September 29th, 2010, 02:13 PM
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 227
I showed my BF the HPT. We are still in shock and it's been 4 weeks since we found out. I just wanted to tell him and since it wasn't something we planned on I needed to get it out of the way. I was on the mini pill as well.... I've been hanging out in the May 2011 DDC since I'm due May 21st but I'm still really undecided as to what I am going to do.
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September 29th, 2010, 05:09 PM
NavyWifey's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 724
Quite honestly, it's not like you were trying to get pregnant right now. Some babies are just so willful that they decide that, regardless of your efforts, they are coming NOW.

Tell him what you told us. There is a risk of failure with all BC, and he's a grown man. He should know that! If he was 100% against having a baby, he shouldn't have DTD, y'know? It takes two to tango, and the fact that the woman is always responsible for an unplanned pregnancy bugs the hell out of me.

I'm half tempted to tell you to get in a preemptive strike. Go up to him with the HPT, yell, "YOOOOOU DID THIS TO MEEEEE!" and let HIM be on the defensive. It's just as much his as it is yours, and sometimes a little bit of evil is the answer.
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September 30th, 2010, 04:50 AM
sethsgirl's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: SC
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lol I was abut to go and yell that last night! I'm going for blood work to confirm today and I'll be telling him tonight. If he can't deal with it then it's his loss. Thank you ladies, I really appreciate all of the comments!
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September 30th, 2010, 09:25 AM
ninja_mommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Oahu
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I would hope he is able to understand. As PP said, it takes 2! We got pregnant with Eliza 9 months before we were TTC. So, instead of getting pregnant right before deployment we had a baby 3 weeks after he deployed. We just had accepted the fact that she really wanted to be here and now we can't imagine having any other child Boy, I know that sounds corny. I suppose there is no "good" way to tell him, just let him have his time to get whatever out of his system and try not to argue about it too much because there isn't really much that can be done at this point.
Congrats by the way And I'll keep it quiet.

Oct '11 June '12
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September 30th, 2010, 09:39 AM
sethsgirl's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
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Thanks hun! The base has a new protocol apparently for pregnancy tests and they said I was supposed to wait until 30 days after my last period and it's been 28. I seriously wanted to yell at the nurse but after some talking she put me in for a urine test and said if it came back negative I had to go back in 7 days if I didn't get my period. I said well I've had 3 positive First Response tests and I'll bring those in if it's negative! I've thought of all kinds of things to say to DH tonight but I'm just going to flat out tell him that I know we were planning on waiting but things happen for a reason and there isn't anything we can do now but be happy that we're being blessed with another child when so many people can't have children. Hopefully he won't take too long to get over being upset or whatever because if he stays mad then I will say you know it takes more than just me to get me pregnant!
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September 30th, 2010, 10:44 AM
ninja_mommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Well, good luck. As you said, it's a blessing. At least you won't have another long period of TTC and being disappointed. I can't imagine how hard that is.

Oct '11 June '12
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October 20th, 2010, 03:07 PM
Showbiz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,646
Bump, update? We're in the same DDC I just told DH last night. He's not happy but he'll deal. He better GET happy though or I'll be one grumpy pg woman, LOL!

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October 20th, 2010, 09:42 PM
evie210's Avatar Super Mommy
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Location: San Antonio, TX
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For a lot of men it takes a long, long, long time for them to adjust to the news. I've read that sometimes it isn't even real to them until the baby is actually born. They aren't experiencing what we are - the baby is growing inside us and we are constantly connected. i'm sure your SO will come around to the idea in his own time. GL
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November 3rd, 2010, 12:11 AM
aprils242001's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Collen I remember when you was on am I pregnant!!! I can't belive your little boy is a year old!!! Congrats on the new little one!!! I hope your husband is excited!!! Good luck!!!
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November 7th, 2010, 07:31 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Hope things went well with your DH
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November 16th, 2010, 06:07 PM
LadyRedgraveDMC's Avatar Zom nom noms
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I remember you from the AIP board way when I used to just lurk and whatnot!!! And I was wondering where you've been! I see that your little one is getting bigger!!! Congratulations on the pregnancy and I hope your DH is excited about it!!!

Little info about me: I'm Amy, 24 years old. I'm in a long-term relationship with Marshall who is 26 years old. We're proud parents to furbabies Olive and Freddie. I live Oxnard, CA. I play video games all the time. I just learned to crochet. I read like crazy. Recently, I've taken up photography strictly as a hobby. I like taking pictures. I'm polytheistic. I've been on JustMommies for four or five years (I lurked for a long time). I love all you ladies so very much!
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November 17th, 2010, 10:39 AM
DramaFreeMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: The Burgh, PA
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Congrats on your pregnancy!!!

I'm hoping your DH has warmed up to the idea by now. Please update us when you can!


Thank You Sharon for my beautiful siggy!

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