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Hi. Trying to be happy

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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January 5th, 2011, 05:57 AM
Mom to minions's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 657
Hello. I am new and this is an unexpected pregnancy. I am divorced mother of 3 little ones. I have a 3 year old, 2 year old and a 16 month old. My ex abandoned us right after I found out I was pregnant with our 3rd child. After a year of him not willing to work on marriage I filed for divorce. I am doing my best to keep everything friendly for the kids and we actually do a pretty good job. He has never paid child support and I have to ask him about seeing the kids. Still I just learned to let go of any anger over it. I have 3 wonderful little boys and we have been to hell and back when their dad left. We survived together and it has made us stronger.

Anyway, I started talking to someone7 months ago and we started to date 4 months ago. He does great with my kids. Well, I was getting ill around Christmas and decided to test. It was so faint I thought it was an evap. So I tested again Monday. My Dr. appt was yesterday, and I also told BF last night. He was very excited.

I feel so guilty because I am not happy. I have been crying for several days. I was on birth control and did not want to get pregnant. I know, you play adult games, you pay adult consequences. I just wish it was not now. I am going back to school and because I am considered a high risk pregnancy. So I can now either go to school or support my kids. Needless to say, the kids come first.

I just feel bad because I am not happy. I always wanted more kids, but not now. I know I will be happy at some point, I just wish I was now.
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January 5th, 2011, 08:52 PM
DramaFreeMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: The Burgh, PA
Posts: 1,623
HI there and

Sorry to hear you are going through a rough time with the news right now I did quite a bit of crying the first couple months of my pregnancy to be completely honest. I just wasn't mentally prepared for the news and needed some time to get comfortable with the fact that i can do it.

Just take it one day at a time and try to focus on the positives as much as you can. Also, make sure you are taking care of yourself. If you continue to feel sad, i would look into seeing a therapist if you can. I know it doesn't help everyone, but therapy really helped me.

No matter what, you picked the right place to come for support. The girls here are wonderful and really understanding. Don't be afraid to come here anytime and share how you really feel.

Wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months and good luck mama!


Thank You Sharon for my beautiful siggy!

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January 7th, 2011, 07:41 AM
beckii's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: NS Canada
Posts: 11,388
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Big hugs to you

I think all of us here can understand how you're feeling, because we've been there or are there now. It must be very difficult, I can only imagine. I have one daughter, she's 5 now & me & her father have been seperated for about 3 years. There are times when I have to nag him to take her or buy something, but everything works out in the end. I'm in school, & I never thought I'd get here.

I'm not 100% content with my life, but I know I'll get there. & my best advice to you is don't stress - you WILL get back to school, even if it isn't now. Focus on your babies, & find some peace within yourself without giving up on the future. We all hit roadblocks & just have to work our way past them, no matter how long it takes.

beckii ... momma to my beautiful princess Mikayla Lynn 01.18.06
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January 9th, 2011, 12:45 PM
Posts: n/a

I know this baby wasn't in your plans right now but like you said, things will sink in and you will be happy. I am starting school on Jan 24th and I have a 1yr old and I am pregnant again. I am scared $hitless but I just put one foot in front of the other and hope for the best. We are all here if you need to talk!
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