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How many weeks should I wait before telling him???

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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March 19th, 2011, 09:16 AM
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 175

Does anyone have any idea how long one should wait before telling their partner they are pregnant (which was not planned)?

The reason I ask is due to the high percentage of pregnancies that end in miscarriage before 12 weeks. I'd hate to put him through the stress and anxiety of an unplanned pregnancy until I know for sure it is going to be a sure thing.

I will be 6 weeks pregnant tomorrow. My first doc appointment isn't until April 24th (10 weeks). I was thinking about waiting until after that appointment to tell him, but I'm conflicted because I feel he should also know what's going on. I don't want to keep it from him or lie.

Any suggestions?? And when do you guys plan on telling your partner (not necessarily family and friends yet)?


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March 19th, 2011, 01:33 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,972
I told my bf that I thought I was preggo before I knew for sure. But 3 pee sticks saying yes was enough. But then again we are in a committed relationship/live together and we tell each other everything. I couldn't have kept it from him (and all my morning sickness symptoms started that next day).

I would say follow your instinct on when you tell him. You know your relationship with the father best.


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March 19th, 2011, 09:00 PM
Leogirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,163
Tell him that you think that you could be pregnant and that you are going to the Dr on X date. Depending on your relationship ask if he would like to go with you.

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March 20th, 2011, 05:45 PM
britneyxo's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 397
I told my bf the day i found out.
i dont know your relationship but he could potentially be upset that you didnt tell him right away.
i understand your position, i'm 13 weeks and am still in a sticky situation with my bf but i knew he had to know right away.

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March 24th, 2011, 01:37 PM
Holdens Mommy <3
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 1,152
I found out I was pregnant the beginning of December, so I had planned on telling my sons father after the holidays, but he just happened to show up at my house a week or so after I found out so I told him them.
Holden James 7.28.10
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March 24th, 2011, 01:59 PM
cutepiem1's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 285
I waited until after my first appt to tell him because like you said things can happen before then and I really wanted time to myself to take it all in since it was a surprise pregnancy. Once I had my viability scan and they said everything looked good so far, I told him that night after the appt.
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March 31st, 2011, 08:39 PM
DramaFreeMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: The Burgh, PA
Posts: 1,623
Hi and

I told my boyfriend the day i got a positive on the home pregnancy test...actually, he was right there hovering over me when i took it.

If it was me, would tell him as soon as possible, But that's just me. You have to do what you are most comfortable with. If you want to wait till week 12, i think that is perfectly fine...but i wouldn't wait any longer than that. Good luck mama.


Thank You Sharon for my beautiful siggy!

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April 8th, 2011, 05:40 PM
Mischief Managed's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 831
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It is funny you mention that, I didn't want to tell Dh (who was my fiance at the time) that I was PG until I made it past 8 weeks in case I did have a M/C. I ended up talking to one of me and Dh's close friends (who has had 3 m/c and still remains infertile to this day) and she told me it would break her husbands heart if she didn't tell him she had/lost a baby. This made me want to tell Nathan, and he was glad I did so he could support me. Plus, I think it would of got really obvious. I started getting some bad M/S early on (like 5/6 weeks) and we live together so.

I think you should tell him.
Thank you *kiliki* for the cute siggy

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April 12th, 2011, 07:46 PM
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 7
Don't wait to tell. You called him your "partner", and if he truly is, he'll want to (need to) be there for YOU should the pregnancy end in miscarriage. If his first thought is how stressful the pregnancy is going to be to HIM, and that he'd rather be kept in the dark, then you've got two problems: 1) the unplanned pregnancy itself and 2) the fact that your partner is too immature to be a decent parent.
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April 13th, 2011, 12:32 PM
Posts: n/a
You should tell him if he is your partner. . .waiting could only mess things up. . .

I told mine the second I found out. . .
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April 17th, 2011, 04:40 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada <3
Posts: 1,370
With my first pregnancy, he was with me when we went for a test, so he found out the same time I did.
Second time it was planned, I told him as soon as I found out (but after i got off the phone with my BFF)
Third time, I was on the phone with my BFF, and told him after.
Fourth time, I took the test, and showed him
and the last time, I took the test at the mall, walked out of the bathroom crying, and told him while I was walking to the grocery store. (4 out of my 5 pregs with him were unplanned)
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April 21st, 2011, 10:45 PM
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 25
I think I would tell him too. He has the right to know.
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January 14th, 2012, 01:48 AM
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 20
Since both of you are doing the deed it is automatically means that anytime you might get pregnant, both of you must be ready for it. When I get pregnant I tell it to my husband right away for we are truly waiting for this. No perfect time to tell your bf, anytime you can actually inform him either planned or unplanned.
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