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Do people ever ask you if your baby was planned?

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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March 31st, 2011, 08:46 PM
DramaFreeMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: The Burgh, PA
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I think because i'm not married, people just assume he was an oopsie. So i'm never asked. Especially doctors. I swear, every appointment they are pushing birth control like I don't know what it is or how to use it. It gets just a little annoying after a while but maybe it's just my hormones.

I was just wondering if any of you ladies actually get asked if your baby was planned or not. How do you respond? Are you or would you be offended by the question?


Thank You Sharon for my beautiful siggy!

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April 1st, 2011, 12:56 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
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I refer to her as a surprise not an oops. And I would get offended if people were to refer to her as an oops baby. Thankfully no one has yet.


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April 2nd, 2011, 07:52 AM
Leogirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Tennessee
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Yes..all the time. When ever anyone in his family sees us it's pretty much "oh,you just got married.I didn't know that you were planning a family so soon." Also both of my Dr's offices asked on my first visit.

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April 2nd, 2011, 08:22 AM
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 317
i guess it just depends. i've never been asked if either of my kids were planned. and i get asked about b/c, i believe, more as a general rule.
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April 4th, 2011, 08:09 AM
~Angela~'s Avatar Mommy to 3
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Upstate New York
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Ugh, I get that all the time. It makes me angry, because basically someone is asking about my sex life habits! WTH??

My boss has done that every pregnancy. It's very rude I think.
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April 4th, 2011, 07:33 PM
butterfly68's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 611
I think it's a very rude thing to ask as well.

I had complete strangers ask me when I was shopping with #3 (and she was my first planned one lol).

I had basically everyone I know ask with #4 as well because #3 was 8m old when I announced I was preggers with him and he was planned as well LMAO

My 2 unplanneds I guess were so obviously unplanned no one bothered to ask. I was 16 when I got PG with #1 and 18 with #2

*Thankyou Kiliki for my wonderful siggy*

Nearly 7 months since I quit smoking!!
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April 7th, 2011, 09:43 AM
beckii's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think it was clearly obvious she wasn't planned - I was 16. I honestly can't remember if I was asked or not! It's been so long now. I don't get "asked" now, her being 5.. but, I do however get "looks" in a sense like "is she really yours?"

I just ignore it. Doesn't bother me at all - I know who I am, what kind of mother I am, & most importantly - I'm happy with my life & my girl. Everyone else can kiss my behind
beckii ... momma to my beautiful princess Mikayla Lynn 01.18.06
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April 8th, 2011, 05:36 PM
Mischief Managed's Avatar Super Mommy
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I think people know our baby was unplanned so they don't ask. Plus now that I am married I think people decide to think we got married because of the baby (we are rather young) I don't know if I would rather have people ask or stay silent.
Thank you *kiliki* for the cute siggy

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April 14th, 2011, 02:03 AM
RobinX02's Avatar Crazy mom of 3!
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Location: Arizona, USA
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Dropping in

When I was 7 months pregnant with #2 and DS was like 16 months old, we went to get family Christmas pictures done and while standing there waiting to review the pictures, this lady who had like 3 kids with her, close in age too had the gull to ask me if the baby was an accident. I was shocked. Just said No.. but really wanted to ask her if hers were.. Who asks that to a total stranger in a crowed public space?? some people!

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Thanks *Kiliki* for my siggy
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April 14th, 2011, 02:26 AM
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 356
When people see me with my oldest, almost 17 and now with Kara 17 days I have had them say "Wow what a big gap, did you plan it that way?" That doesnt bother me I just giggle and say, Nope but thats how it happened
Thank You Patty for my pretty Siggy!!!
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April 14th, 2011, 10:07 AM
accessdenied6875's Avatar Veteran
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When people asked me that, I usually asked them "and you want to know this....why??" That usually puts them where they need to be. Not worrying about you, and worrying about themselves.
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April 14th, 2011, 02:20 PM
AshMama2Ava's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 603
My doctor didn't quite phrase it like that but he he did say, and you are happy about this...

My boss asked when I told her, but then she immediately said "that sounds so horrible and rude, I don't know why ppl ask that right away." With her it was more that she was wondering if it should be congratulations, your trying paid off OR just straight congratulations.

For the record NOT that it matters we were NTNP, it was just surpise, your pregnant quicker then you thought, lol.

My big little monkey Ava.
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April 23rd, 2011, 02:18 PM
Super Mommy
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Location: Canada
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OMG, I totally see this coming for us.
I'm not pregnant yet, but my BF was back in school this year, until august (post graduate degree, already has a job waiting for him in September). For sure people around us will think we're stupid getting pg with him still in school. They will assume it's an oops. But I'm more than ready to put them back in their place. Financially, we're more than fine, so I don't see any point in waiting longer if we are both ready for this.

Also, just to mention, in my province, only few people marry now, less than half couples. So not being married and having a child is nothing to worry about, at least.

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April 24th, 2011, 10:09 PM
lala2007's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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People just assume because I am not married and of course he is not around.

Thank you so much Alethia
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April 25th, 2011, 04:18 PM
Super Mommy
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Originally Posted by lala2007 View Post
People just assume because I am not married and of course he is not around.
I am currently reading your Single Mom Hood Here I Go blog and I am very touched by it. I can't let go, I'm reading you May 2010 posts. Will you keep writing?

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April 25th, 2011, 10:35 PM
lala2007's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Aw thank you. It was my vent blog during pregnancy. I forgot my password and couldn't post but I will start back again thanks

Thank you so much Alethia
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April 26th, 2011, 08:43 AM
Keepin' it real!
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,656
We were asked if we planned to have twins

Yeah, like we went through the baby request drive-through and said through the window "Uh, yes, I want a baby with a twin on the side. Can you make that a boy and girl, please?" and from the other side "$5.99 please" lol

We did ttc all our kids, except one but the one we didn't plan we lost during pregnancy. Really, I don't see why everyone cares. lol The other thing that I find hilarious is when people ask me if all 4 of my children have the "same dad" Of course! I am married, they have the same dad! WTH kind of question is that anyway? I don't ever go around asking people that kind of stuff. Noneamybusiness, ya know?
Mom to many

1 Girl 2011 and 1 Boy 2013. Their family is COMPLETE!

Surrogacy # 3 for new family?: 2014??
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April 28th, 2011, 10:09 AM
JadaJade's Avatar Super Mommy
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My mother ans family are convinced that this preg was planned because me and my bf have been together for so long and think that if we've been safe all this time that this could not of been a slip up. But that wasn't the case. It's frustrating, it only takes one to create a baby, accidents happen. This one just so happens to be a good one.

Lil' Mister, Spencer James is due to arrive 11/1/11!
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May 1st, 2011, 10:01 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,841
My boyfriend and I were NTNP. After 4 months, we still weren't pregnant, and I was just starting a new job, so I was going to get on birth control.... I was waiting to start my period, and then we found out that I was pregnant. Teehee. It was a surprise, but probably the best one. EVER.
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