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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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May 1st, 2011, 05:18 PM
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 209
Hi everyone, I'm new here. Anyways... this is my second unplanned pregnancy in five months. The last one ended in a miscarriage in early January. I was on the pill but forgot a few here and there. I know my bad. Now I'm kind of scared to tell him again. The last time we didn't use anything, not even the pull and pray method and he said he'd be there for me and started to get excited and then I had the miscarriage. We've talked about kids and what not in an offhand method. I know he's a good dad because he has a daughter and always has here during the day and on most weekends but I don't know how hes going to react this time around.

A few people told me to wait until the 12 week mark but this isn't only my baby it's his too and he has a right to know. I also would like him to come with me to my first dr appt in May. Any advice on how to tell him whats going on?
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May 2nd, 2011, 01:59 PM
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 227
I would tell him but you need to do what's right for you and not him. PM me if you need to talk.
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May 2nd, 2011, 08:21 PM
365seasons's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 138
So sorry to hear about your miscarriage.
I would tell him as well, but as Shocker13 said, you need to do whats right.
If you guys have talked about it, and he was excited before, I think you could use the support. It's always hard the first couple months, especially alone.
PM me if you need an ear as well.
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May 3rd, 2011, 05:22 PM
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 209
thanks guys... I'm going to tell him Friday when I see him next, this isn't something I want to do over the phone or by text message.
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May 4th, 2011, 05:24 PM
Mischief Managed's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 831
Send a message via MSN to Mischief Managed
First of all, you need to get more educated on sex before going off and having this happen again. I am curious, did you think NOT pulling out and praying was a form of birth control? That almost doesn't sound unplanned.
I would tell him asap. I struggled with telling my FI (we had a wedding date planned and everything, so it wasn't like some random guy knocked me up) so I know how hard it is to tell the father! But you have to realize, it really is his kid too and he needs to know. Wouldn't you want to know whether or not you lost your child due to M/C (which I am guessing is why you want to wait until the 12 week mark? Otherwise I am not sure why else you would want to wait)? He has the right to know he has another child on the way! I am not sure why else you would hide it from him.

Also, make sure he knows how much you want him to get involved. If you want him to start coming to doc apts, he really needs to know ahead of time. Also let him know you are concerned since he was so happy until your last M/C. (Which I am very sorry for your loss, I can't even imagine how hard that must of been for you two) You both need to pray and stay positive.
Thank you *kiliki* for the cute siggy

Last edited by Mischief Managed; May 4th, 2011 at 05:29 PM.
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May 7th, 2011, 03:59 PM
cutepiem1's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 285
Just wanted to say congrats on your pregnancy and I hope all went well on Friday. I know how you were feeling about telling him because it took me a while to tell my S/O too but for me it was because I hadnt accepted the pregnancy myself yet. So I actually didn't tell him until after a doctors apt, blood test and scan.
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May 7th, 2011, 10:28 PM
Posts: n/a
I am glad you decided to tell him because he does deserve to know. I waited until like 9 weeks to tell my DD's father because I was soooo scared and he is still very bitter about it til this day (she is 16 months). I was so worried about having a m/c that I didn't want to tell him until I had my first u/s and saw the baby....and I knew he would be really upset about me being pregnant.

Please keep us posted.
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May 8th, 2011, 02:03 PM
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 209
All went well... for the most part. I told him on Friday as planned. He knew something was up right away so I told him and he asked me how I knew and how far along I was. He said he would be there for both of us no matter what. While he wasn't ecstatic he wasn't mad either. I'm hoping once he processes everything he will start to get excited again like he did last time.
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