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Are any of you wondering about keeping the baby ???

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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May 9th, 2011, 06:07 PM
everafter's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 984
I know it's horrible to even think about that, but.....

Yesterday I was elated and was looking at baby stuff.....today, I'm getting severe anxiety just thinking about what ex-hubby is going to say and do ......

Anyone having doubt there doing the right thing ???

How to decide what's the best ???

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May 10th, 2011, 08:13 AM
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 227
If you are doubting yourself then I would seek some outside therapy for guidance. Only you can do what's best for you but what seems right now might not be down the road and if you think you will doubt yourself then you need to deal with those issues. There is a dark side to abortion that no one talks about and it's not as easy as some people make it out to be. For some women, they walk away with little to no emotional scaring and for others it's like their world came crashing down.
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May 10th, 2011, 09:17 AM
Mischief Managed's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 831
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I think there is a point in anyones unplanned pregnancy where they *question* what to do and what is right. This doesn't mean that they actually consider doing it, but it is always a question. I knew just from growing up and being taught that you don't have an abortion, so I knew I wouldnt. But there were times when I layed awake before telling DH, who was my FI at the time, thinking that if I don't tell him maybe I can abort it and he will never know. Or I can wait till the baby M/C by some chance and he will never know then either. But then I also was filled with happy thoughts.
I think you will do what is right FOR YOU. I am 100% pro-choice. But just know, even though my baby was unplanned, I am more excited then EVER. I had so many plans that I still wanted to do. I even had to cancel plans as simple as summer vacation this year. BUT my baby is totally worth it. (OH, and I was scared to tell DH as well... He was very happy, and I think sometimes he gets more excited then me these days LOL)

Good luck and always know that it is OK to think about it.
Thank you *kiliki* for the cute siggy

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May 10th, 2011, 08:59 PM
mcfly's Avatar Lil' Old Lady In Training
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,415
*hugs* It's a really tough situation to be in. No one can tell you what to do, you just gotta go with your intuition. I am fairly new on this forum so I hope that I will not be flamed for saying this, but I will be totally honest here. I have had an abortion before, and although it sure wasn't a fun choice to make, I do not regret it. I would not be in the position I am today, happily married to a great guy, financially secure, and with an unplanned but very much wanted baby on the way, if I had not made that difficult choice 5 years ago.

And all that said, you may be surprized at the way things work themselves out sometimes. Whatever ends up happening, you will be ok.
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May 11th, 2011, 03:32 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,120
No not wondering about that. I know I will keep the baby. I just hope I can love it as much as my daughter.......... this is such a surprise. I love my fiancé and my daughter is my everything. I can't imagen having an other child and taking care of it. I do not want my daughter not to have my 100% attention.
I really do not want to be pregnant to say the honest truth. I just feel like I can't really say it out loud because there are so many couples wanting to get pregnant and here I am feeling so down about it.

Btw, I think we might have the same due date (I am as far along as you are). But not sure yet. I have my appt. May 20th and will know for sure how far along I am.
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May 11th, 2011, 05:42 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,972
I had doubts at the beginning with this baby but having a supportive partner has made it much easier for me. I am not gonna lie, I do still have moments where I wonder if we made the right choice in keeping her, but those moments get more and more fleeting as we get closer and I believe when I have her in my arms those will be gone.

But that was the right choice for me, it may not be the right choice for you. I think you will know whats right. And no one can fault you for making that choice.


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May 12th, 2011, 04:04 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 2,992
Im haveing the same feelings, this would be number 7 for me we wanted to wait till are new little one was about 4 or 5. Didn't happen that way, not sure what we are going to do.. But like the other ladies said it's your chocie of what you want to do and it def is not a easy chocie to make.

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May 12th, 2011, 09:06 PM
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 20
If I am pregnant, I don't know what I'll do. I'm probably completely 50/50 on whether I would abort it or not.
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May 15th, 2011, 07:15 PM
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 10
Adoption or abortion didn't cross my mind. Although I am wondering if I can be a single mother. It scares the hell out of me.
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May 16th, 2011, 03:05 PM
Hoping To Be A Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: TEXAS
Posts: 3,638
I hope this doesn't come off in anyway abrupt or tacky- but just wanted to introduce myself to some of you. My name is Maggie, I am 24 and my husband is 25. We have been trying, with medical assistance, for a baby for a year. If anyone here is or knows someone who is considering putting their baby up for adoption; please send them our way.
We want a baby so badly and actually spend our spare time with my baby cousins- taking them to pizza places and the park to play. We are stable in our careers and marriage and only want a baby to love and provide for. So, again, if you all are or know anyone who is considering adoption for their baby (and is SURE they want to do this)- please PM me for further questions, etc.
Thanks girls.
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May 25th, 2011, 05:30 PM
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 131
yea I'm in all honesty still struggling with what to do. I am almost 12 weeks so abortion is really out of the question. I still have struggles with parenting.
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May 26th, 2011, 08:39 PM
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Cleveland, Ohio
Posts: 82
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For me the decision never came easy...I have two kids ages 5 and 3 and with both being 100% unplanned I went back and forth and in the end decided against terminating the pregnancies. When i found out about my 2nd pg our relationship was already deteriorating and I waited until I was 5 months pregnant before I told him..he actually found out when a relative was on her death bed and kept saying to people I was having another baby (she didn't know I was pregnant, hadn't seen her in years)....their father (my ex) wanted me to abort both from jump street and was very vocal about it. He still "throws it up in my face" and says "I never asked for them to be here".

Talk to a counselor or social worker about your feelings. Whatever you decide to do is in the best interest of you and your family. Good luck.
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May 31st, 2011, 04:57 PM
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1
Hello all, I am new here and am glad to see that my fears are somewhat shared by others. A little bit about me I am 26 and I already have 3 dd. My cycle is very regular since my last baby she will be 1 in three weeks, anywho I have a gut feeling that I am pregnant again with baby #4. And I am scared out of my wits dh is very supportive and would be devastated if I decide not to keep the baby especially since we both want a son and this could be our chance. My mother on the other hand is a totally different story ever since baby #1 she wanted me to get an abortion (of course now that they are here she loves them to death) but I know her response to this one will be the same "get rid of it" me I am at a crossroads on what to do. For soooooo long abortion wasnt even in my vocabulary as I feel that ever child is a gift from god and should be treated as such but now seeing how we are already struggling with he 3 we have I am beginning to question my beliefs, I don't want this baby to have to suffer because of our financial hardships but in the back of my mind I still think that abortion isn't the right option for me. I'm scared, lost, confused and disheartened by my lack of faith. Any advise???
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