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Just found out I'm pregnant.... very scared I've harmed the baby, help.

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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November 11th, 2011, 10:48 AM
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 1
Hi all -

I just found out that I am about 8 weeks pregnant. I know this seems kind of late to find out, but I've never really had a "normal" menstrual cycle and have gone longer w/ missed periods so when I didn't get my period the 1st month it didn't even cross my mind since I was not planning or trying to conceive... unfortunately, we can't always plan life.

Now that I've found out (yesterday), I'm torn with the choice of whether or not I should keep the baby. I'm concerned my behavior over the past 2 months while not knowing of the pregnancy may have done serious harm to the baby. I'm prescribed aderall which I take every day - 20mg. I also have IBS and must use laxatives every other day or in order to go to the bathroom at all. I've also gone about my normal routein of going out w/ friends & indulging in alcoholic beverages... many! Sometimes a few bottles of wine, other times up to 5-6 drinks made w/ hard liquor (vodka).

I've been completely crushed since yesterday thinking that I've seriously harmed my baby without even realizing it. I can't imagine there has not been any harm done to the babys health or formation, features, etc... I've been reading tons of articles on the web for the past 2 days that state the first 3 months are the most crucial. I can't bare the thought of bringing a child into the world that could I could have possibly harmed physically, developmentally or any other way.

I'm completely torn about whether or not I should terminate the pregnancy... I'm hoping there is maybe someone out there that has a similar situation and can help shed some light on the damage done or maybe what the outcome of their situation was.

Really thank you guys in advance
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November 11th, 2011, 05:46 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,418
I have had lots of friends that partied during early pregnancy (without knowing) and ended up with healthy babies. The question is: Do you want to keep the baby? If so, you can always opt for additional testing such as an amino. I would call your obgyn and ask what they think.

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
Do not ever give up hope...

Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.

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November 13th, 2011, 09:11 PM
-Bailey-'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,442
When I voiced my concerns of smoking, and heavy drinking, to my doctor she said not to worry too much about it as our bodies are very good at protecting baby for the first little while.
I drank almost every night, sometimes beer and sometimes mixed drinks. I also attended two bday parties before I found out where I got pretty trashed.
I am now 24 weeks and my baby is perfectly healthy as far as we can tell Good heartbeat, everything measures almost textbook perfect.

I'm not sure the effects of Adderall, and laxatives would have though. Definitely talk to your doctor about your concerns, but try not to stress about it too much. I was very worried up until I got my anatomy scan and could actually see everything developing fine, even now I still get worried once in awhile.

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November 15th, 2011, 01:48 AM
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 4
Don't worry, I was six weeks pregnant before I found out. I was drinking and smoking up until a few hours before I took the test. I've had scares before, so I figured it was just stress. The baby is fine and so am I. Moreover, there are women out there who don't figure out they're pregnant until they're giving birth (they have a TV show dedicated to the phenomenon). They spend the entire 9 months drinking, smoking, and taking their meds and the babies turn out fine. I'm not saying it's the norm, but it is possible. Talk to your doctor, chances are he'll tell you the same thing, but that way he knows to keep an eye on things.
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December 9th, 2011, 09:15 PM
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 5
Well I have gone through the exact same thing. I did not find out until I was 4 months pregnant. That being said, I had salmonella for over a month - took the prescribed meds to get rid of it, and morphine & hydro morph to ease the pain throughout. I've had scopes done - got the anesthetics throughout the procedure to put me to sleep. I drank heavily. I smoked over a pack a day.
Needless to say, after all the baby and I have went through, she is still perfectly healthy. Shes growing accordingly, at the proper weight she should be, her length is looking good, all that good stuff! They had detailed ultrasounds done, ultrasounds weekly, and they see nothing wrong so far.
I stressed for the longest time, and considered an abortion, not only because all I had put her through, not knowing I was pregnant, But i had found out my placenta was tearing away from the uterus. It was a 9cm tear, and it was either me or the baby that was going to survive this pregnancy. So I was set on an abortion. The tear healed, so I decided to keep her. Happiest decision I have done. She is healthy and nothing I did hadn't affected her.
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December 10th, 2011, 10:40 AM
MommaTrish's Avatar bless your heart
Join Date: May 2007
Location: the South East USA
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You are still early enough in that if those things were going to affect the pregnancy in a very harmful way, more than likely your body would have miscarried the baby by now. ((Which is exactly what my doctor told me with one of my pregnancies)) The important thing now is that if you do want to keep this baby that you stop doing all those things now that you do know.

And I agree, should you chose to keep the baby, and you are still worried, ask your doctor to do some extra testing.
mom of: Zach (10), Ryan (8), Bella (5), Mason (2), and pollywog #5 due 12/04/14
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December 10th, 2011, 01:38 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 2,969
I agree with Trish. If you had harmed the baby, your body would have miscarried.

My best friend didn't find out until she was 10 weeks. She found out a couple days after her and a couple of our other friends had gotten kicked out of a bowling alley for being too drunk. We had all partied together several times before that. She has a very healthy little boy now who is stinkin' adorable.

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December 14th, 2011, 07:59 PM
justjaQ's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Sterling Heights, MI
Posts: 19,640
i was on class C and D meds at the beginning of my pregnancy. the baby's fine, but they make me do twice-weekly non-stress-tests, and that's the only reason of which i can think, to do them.
msjaQ- 28, pantheist AP detroit mama to:
timothy michael, august 31, 2003, 12:02pm, 8 lb. 4 oz., 21"- 38 wks.
melissa may, april 7, 2006, 1:31pm, 7 lb. 10.5 oz., 19.5"- 36.5 wks
nicholas michael, january 31, 2010, 5:12pm, 5 lb. 11 oz., 18.25"- 37.1 wks
damon michael, january 21, 2012, 1:31am, 6 lb. 14 oz., 20", 38 wks
rainbow baby left me at 6-1/2 weeks on 09.08.12~ never forgotten, sweet child

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December 16th, 2011, 11:49 PM
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 12
Keep the Baby please. No one will know if we really hurt the baby due to heavy drinking etc.

This time, the most important question for you is how sure are you to keep your baby and how ready are you to be a mother.
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December 21st, 2011, 09:34 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 1,834
I was 5 weeks pregnant when I found out and I had done some heavy drinking several times past conception. My baby is perfectly healthy. My doctor told me that at that young of a gestational age if the alcohol were to affect my baby in anyway I most likely would have miscarried. Since I didn't, there was a very good chance that the alcohol had NO effect. Which turned out to be true.

Keep in mind, too, that the "weeks" start from the beginning of your last cycle. So, in reality, you've only been carrying your little bean for about 6 weeks.

According to what I could find on the web Aderall poses no known risk to unborn babies:
Adderall Information from Drugs.com
But, of course, talk to your doctor immediately.

I know that right now you are considering an abortion because you don't want to bring forth a baby who might suffer and possibly die quickly anyway. But right now this is a largely unfounded fear. Get some more information, monitor your pregnancy appropriately, and take a big breath. The odds are good that there is nothing wrong with your baby.

'Scuse the bad typing, please. 'Breast is Best' but not when browsing the internet!

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January 5th, 2012, 08:05 PM
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 5
Your story and mine are very similar. I just found out two days ago I am pregnant and I am nine weeks. I had my first doctor's appointment today and I had similar concerns...I was drinking every day (obviously not now anymore) and smoking. The doctor was very reassuring...she said although you should definitely stop drinking for your baby, the body is an amazing, resilient thing and many women do not realize they're pregnant for a few weeks and have the same concerns, and their babies are fine. As far as that goes, I wouldn't terminate.

I also take medications though that I just found out could have possibly harmed my baby. I take klonopin, risperidone, and zoloft, and the klonopin might have caused fetal harm. I have to make an appointment with maternal-fetal medicine and speak with more doctors and get more information. So, to summarize, if you stop the drinking and stuff, your baby should be ok. As far as everything else, just gather as much information as possible first and hope for the best. That's what I am going to do.
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January 7th, 2012, 01:25 AM
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 12
I just want to thank you for posting your concerns, avas. I caught my pregnancy before I missed a period, but my boyfriend and I have serious concerns about me going out and drinking a few times after conception. I luckily stopped taking klonopin because I was sleeping much better, but I took a lot of excedrin, sudafed, and I was also on two different anti-depressants. I appreciate you guys posting your stories, it has calmed my nerves, but I still think waiting until 10 weeks to tell everyone is the best option. Time is moving so slowly, though!
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August 3rd, 2013, 12:24 AM
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Levittown pa
Posts: 1
I was just wonder how you and the baby were?
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September 22nd, 2013, 09:42 AM
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1
I too am scared. We just found out I'm pregnant in week 5. I had been drinking two, a couple times three, drinks everyday during weeks 3 and 4 and had one drink two days in a row early in week 5. Two days later I checked and saw that I was pregnant.

I have stopped drinking now, but I am so worried that we have harmed the baby. Will go to the doctor for tests next week, but not sure how much she can detect. I feel so guilty...
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