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Even as a 35yr old...I need guidance

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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November 28th, 2011, 03:14 PM
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 1
I am at a total loss as to what to do. I found out yesterday that I pregnant. Have been with my boyfriend for about 6 months. He has clearly stated in the past that he did not want anymore kids. However, we were using the "pull out" method and the one day that he decides not to "pull out" I was ovulating. I normally do not keep track of this but got a little concerned and got online and checked several ovulation calculators. And ta dah, I was ovulating. That now brings me to where I am today.

I am torn. I am a divorced mother of two ages 16 and 12. I was starting to live life and enjoy it and not really sure if I want to start over. I told my boyfriend last night that I had taken a test and it came back positive. I took another this morning and same result. I have an appointment tomorrow for a blood test.

We talked some today and due to financial situations on both sides that he feels that terminating the pregnancy would be the best. However, he said that he would support any decision that I made concerning keeping or terminating. I personally feel that by him saying that it is relieving him of responsibility of making any decision concerning of keeping or not.

Back in my early 20's I did have two abortions. This is something that I am so not proud of and wonder to this day who they would have been. I feel that by having my youngest 12 years ago made up for one and that by going to term with this one would make up for the other. Maybe I am trying to find peace within myself for what I have done in the past. I just do not want to feel that I am taking away from my kids and forcing this pregnancy upon my boyfriend in hopes of making myself feel better.

Along with this is the reaction that I am going to get from my family. This especially falls on my mom. I know that she is going to be disapproving if I decide to go through with the pregnancy because I am just now getting back on my feet.

I am only about 4 weeks and extremely stressed. I believe that I would feel better about the situation if my boyfriend was somewhat ok with this all.

Any and all thoughts would be much appreciated....
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December 3rd, 2011, 07:35 PM
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1
I am in similar situation but older...38 with a 2.5 toddler. Husband really didn't want
2# child. I'm overwhelmed sad & confused. I work a hard stressful job & unsure this is right for us but now having my son hard to imagine an abortion. I called a therapist & she suggested meditation or just sitting quietly to try to really "feel" what I want. It's hard with mind chatter but I recommend for you too. Good luck.
I'm leaning towards an abortion but cry get lethargic and then wonder if right thing.
Whatever you decide try to forgive yourself. We make mistakes.
Good luck!
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