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unplanned pregnancy... tough choice

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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January 5th, 2012, 07:01 PM
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 5
Hello everyone. After about 3 weeks of nausea I finally took multiple pregnancy tests yesterday that all came up positive. The father is my boyfriend that I am living with. I have my doctors appointment tomorrow but I'm estimating that I could be anywhere from 3 to 8 weeks along.

Although I really want children one day and I would love this one with all my heart I simply cannot give this baby what it deserves. I'm a waitress and my boyfriend is a waiter. I am not in college and he did not go either. We share a studio apartment and still struggle with money. I'm only 21. I struggle badly with depression and OCD and it is hard for me to get out of bed and get things done. I also know my boyfriend is not ready for this responsibility even though he will support me no matter what. The fact that I am also unmarried is an issue.

So, adoption at the moment is my primary choice. I am heartbroken to think about carrying the baby and then give it away but I feel like that is what the baby deserves. I'm afraid though of changing my mind, especially as the pregnancy progresses, and coping post-pregnancy. I would love any input that could be valuable. I am also stressed because my relationship with my boyfriend is a secret from my family right now. He's 39 and I know they will be horrified at the age difference, let alone that we're living together and that I'm pregnant because of him. Anyway, I'm just alone and am desperate to share with others. Thanks
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January 5th, 2012, 07:24 PM
joey_emmysmommy's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: LaMarque Texas
Posts: 589
Honey first of all If this is the man you want to be with and you love him don't worry about what anyone will think about the age difference. I was with someone 16 years older then me and it really hurt our relationship that we were hiding it for that reason.

Next if you are thinking about adoption maybe you should look into open adoption. That way you would be giving your baby the best of both worlds, you the birth mother and your so the birth father and you would also be making sure that your baby has what it needs from 2 people that you chose that you think would make great parents that would love your baby just like you do.
That is just my opinion. Hope that things work out for you and your SO and your baby.

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