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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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January 24th, 2012, 03:46 PM
NewMama22's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 95
Hi all, I'm new here to justmommies but definitely wanted to introduce myself. I've been looking over the message boards lately and all your posts have been so helpful, and everyone seems to be very accepting

To those who are young and are experiencing the worries of an unplanned pregnancy, I am right there with ya! Found out about 5 weeks, and am now 10 weeks, however I have yet to still tell all of my immediate family for fear of judgement. I told my mom right away, who is a duala, lamaze teacher and 1st grade teacher, and it's safe to say she was supportive and excited. On the other hand I know my other family members will not take the news so well, thus I have been holding off..

I'm 22 and a junior in college, going for my doctorates so I have A LOT more school left to go. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years, so I definitely have a stable rock there. He is most supportive, and even more excited than I am! However, we both only work min wage jobs and do not have any money saved up, so finances are our biggest worry. He is a great man though, and we both have big hearts and are nurturing by nature so I know we will make fantastic parents.

My biggest worry is telling my dad, who is known to be judgemental, has a bad temper and can hold very long grudges..(I live with my mom) I think about it every day, but I don't think I have the courage yet. He is out of town for a few weeks, and I definitely didnt want to wait until I was in my 4th month until telling him, so I was thinking about writing a very long, heartfelt email explaining the situation, telling him how much I want our relationship to only keep getting better, asking for his support and letting him know my boyfriend and I are willing to sit down with him if he is. What do you think??

Thanks all, for letting me ramble on and on..
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January 30th, 2012, 09:27 AM
pauriemmo's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 299
When I got pregnant with my son, it was unplanned. I can tell you from experience, that writing an email, is not the way to go. I was in Iraq when I found I was pregnant and my only way of communicating at the time, was through email. It still upset my mom until there was no tomorrow. I was single and not with the father.

To say the least, my mom made me feel horrible that I sent her an email rather than waiting till I could use a phone. Plus, she was not happy that I was going to be an unwed mother. BTW, I was 25 and in the Army. I wasn't exactly a kid.

To make a long story not so long, in the end, she wound up being head-over-heels in love with my son. She has 4 grandkids and always tells me that my son is her favorite. It's probably because he looks like my deceased father, but I'll take it!

Your dad will get over it. They all do. When my SIL got pregnant at 18, my father-in-law wouldn't even say the words "baby" or "pregnant" and now he loves all over the baby. They never stay mad for long.

Good Luck!
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January 30th, 2012, 07:18 PM
Leogirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,163
Hi and welcome! I highly recommend telling your dad sooner rather than later. I would try to do it in person (maybe in public like a resturant) or at least over the phone. He may get mad or be disappointed but I'm sure it will pass with time. Just be SUPER excited and upbeat anytime you talk about the baby just so there is no mistake that you are happy about it. He may want to know what your plans for school, work, child care, and your relationship are and you should be ready to answer him honestly.

Feel free to talk to us here about anything. There are a few of us regular posters here. Plus you may want to check out your Due Date Club!

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January 30th, 2012, 07:57 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,551
When I found out I was pregnant I was 20 and so afraid to tell my dad. Would you believe i text him!?! Just said soo yeah dad... I'm pregnant. Haha He said this is not something you should text me and called me right away. But my dad isn't judgemental and doesn't hold a grudge.

I would try to tell him at least over the phone. Also I would live by the thought, "Those that matter don't mind and those that mind don't matter" I would think he should be happy for you, even if not at first I would think that he would come around quickly. Thats his grandbaby you are cooking. A classmate of mine who was obviously much older than me found out his sons girlfriend was pregnant right before clinical one morning. His son left him a note. He was upset he just left a note and the girl was already 8 months pregnant. He was happy but he wished he had more time to come to grips with it before the child was born. FYI he didn't like the girlfriend. So the sooner you tell him the more time he has to come to terms with it and get excited.
Either way don't let him bring you down. Your mom sounds awesome and you and your boyfriend seem to be ready and at least semi excited so go with it. The rest will come

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