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Please help, I dont think I can handle this...

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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  • 1 Post By Anna2ds
  • 1 Post By momof8lopez

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February 19th, 2012, 09:38 PM
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4
I'm 24...found out this evening i'm pregnant with #3.

My husband and I had decided that our girls were enough, we didnt and couldnt handle anymore.

Were are both very very upset. I am/was on the Nuva Ring...so wth??

Our youngest is 18mos, Mallory, our oldest is 5yr, Audrey.

Mallory still doesnt sleep at night, shes, for lack of easier words...TERRIBLE! Please dont lecture, its just true, she is so difficult, shes into everything, and not just the norm kid stuff. She has attitude like crazy, she cried NON STOP, we've had her check out, shes perfectly fine. We kept saying 'its a phase'...and no, its not! This is her.

I'm so upset for my oldest, Audrey, she doesnt get enough positive attention because of the baby, and I feel shes thinking she isnt special anymore, it breaks my heart. All I worry for most, is her. She is my Angel, she is becoming attention starved and getting into trouble lately. We try our best, but were always so wrapped up in Mallory...its very very difficult.

Now were having to add a 3rd?! I'm just terribly upset, I cannot handle this. We arent going to abort, and we wont give him/her up...so were going to cope...but REALLY needing some input and some positivity. My husband wont talk about it with me right now, he's a tad too freaked out. But me, as a woman, the baby is IN ME, I neeeeed to talk...help?!
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February 20th, 2012, 07:05 AM
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 29
It really does get easier sometime around the time a baby starts to talk, around age 2. I have an eighteen month old as well and she is just fussy and cranky most of the time. But it will get better when she can TELL me what she wants rather than just screaming and fussing.
By the time your new baby is born your youngest will be a little older and probably less of a little monster.
Good luck with your pregnancy, hope it's an easy one. It is hard with two in diapers.
One thing that may help your oldest is if you or your husband does something with just her alone, like once a week. A trip to the library. Rollerskating. If you do it every week she will look forward to that one on one time.
tobi4 likes this.
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February 20th, 2012, 10:35 AM
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4
Thank you so much, thats a great idea with taking my oldest out...we do, do things 'just us' and just her and her dad from time to time, but its not consistant. maybe she just needs more consistancy with it. I'll definatley impliment that! I appreciate your feedback
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February 20th, 2012, 04:05 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,894
The one on one time is great and very needed for all kids! I just had my 6th baby, and my youngest was only 14mo when she was born. Taking both girls to McD's with a playroom, gives me time to google with the baby while my 17mo old gets all her energy out! Plus its cheap! Once a week, or even twice a week is awesome....plus I dont have to make lunch on those days, lol.

My 2nd. child, a boy, many years ago......was the spawn of satan! I always said if I had him first, he would of been an only child. I was so scared to have another baby after him, I waited till he was 5. My third son was just a wonderful baby, and my little terror actually got better at that point. Sometimes having the third, and them seeing how life is not going to evolve around them anymore does the trick in it self! Wishing you an easy pregnancy
missy123 likes this.
momma of 8 beautiful children now. Most recent is Jerry Jr. born 11/19/12 at 37wk, 7lbs 6oz and 19.5inches and Baby Reymundo born 10/7/13 at 35w6d, 6lbs 7oz, 19.5 inches. Momma of 5 angels. New siggy to come!

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February 21st, 2012, 12:36 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,029
I completely understand where youre coming from..I had 2 boys at 23..I was done having children so I had the Mirena IUD..it fell out in dec and shortly after I found out I was pregnant..I now have a very beautiful 5 month old girl..and guess what..after a botched job taking my pill..I have number 4 on the way..I was shocked and upset at first..but its sinking in..my two youngest will be less than a yr apart..LOL..Having 3 children is a bit different logistically..but you'll make it work...Soon you won't know what you did without each of them..And I also do have one child that is hard to manage..my oldest son has ADHD and as a result of spoiling on my part(we almost lost him the day he was born so he did get spoiled a lot) he's got an attitude..some days I'd like to rip my hair out..then rip his out..LOL..but we make it work.Good luck girly.
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February 22nd, 2012, 06:57 AM
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4
Thank you guys so much. This really made me feel better. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one that thinks theire child may be a spawn of satan! LOL all jokes of course...or am i???

We're slowly coming to terms and trying to get excited. My husband has stated a new rule, no one is allowed to call the baby an 'she' only 'he' and apparently the baby will hear 'he' and become a boy LOL....he's starting to come around.

Thank you all so much!
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April 23rd, 2012, 11:45 PM
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2
I do not have much advise to offer, as I am experiencing an unplanned 2nd pregnancy, the first ended in a mc.

I did want to mention however, that both my unplanned pg were while I was on the NuvaRing; I followed the instructions to a "T" and did exactly what I was supposed to and last year I got pregnant, and this year I am pregnant again.

I spoke with my pharmacist about this and he said they have had a few other women who have come in and said the same thing; but he was positive that we were using the ring incorrectly; I mean HOW do you use it incorrectly?!! It's a ring! You put it in vaginally for three weeks, take it out for 5 days, put a new one in!

Interesting that you also got pregnant on this device. : /
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April 24th, 2012, 09:02 AM
JennLynn_'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Pickering, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,208
I totally understand your fear of taking away from your oldest. My daughter and I are very close. she's my baby. When I first found out I was surprisingly pregnant this time, I was soooo worried about DD. I never wanted to take anything from her whether it was my time, or money that could be spent on her doing activities, etc.

but now i'm a week from my due date and DD is SO excited to have a little sister. My only advice is to hang in there. It will get better.

And the best advice to you is the advice above about creating specific time/dates each week with each of your children to give them that alone time with you and that special attention that every child deserves It's advice i'll definitely use too!!

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April 25th, 2012, 06:41 PM
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1
I was so glad to find this post. I am in a similar situation. We have 3 kids 4,3, and 11 months and I am 8 weeks pregnant with #4 (unplanned) My husband was supposed to get a vasectomy months ago but kept putting it off. I am an emotional wreck and the reactions from some family members hasn't been helpful.
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