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20 years old - new relationship w/ guy & pregnant. Opinions?

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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March 24th, 2012, 12:29 PM
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2
My name is Aryn, I'm 20 years old and have been dating this guy for four months - in a relationship for two. I'm supposed to start my period tomorrow, but I woke up feeling the need to take a test. It came out positive. I am 3 weeks and 5 days along. When do I tell him?

I know the chances of miscarriage are high the first three months, and one year ago I got pregnant, but no more than two months in I had a missed miscarriage. I was told getting pregnant would be difficult for me. I don't want to stress him out with news of unplanned pregnancy when things might not even work out, you know? I'm already stressed out because at my age I shouldn't be pregnant because I need to focus on school and work, but there is no way I could pull myself to do an abortion.
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March 24th, 2012, 02:38 PM
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2
Aryn, I might not understand fully what it feels like to be where you are but I've went down a similar road and it is not easy. I would not wait to tell him, as he is going to find out one way or another, its one thing you cannot keep to yourself once you start to show. I would suggest, now granted this is just a suggestion and can be overlooked or not given a second thought too, tell him now but explain to him the difficulties before and your feelings towards abortion and life. I dont know how much you would expect from him, but he has two choices and neither of them will matter more than that child does. He might need time to think about it, he might embrace the idea of being "Daddy", or he might run away - but he will come around later on. Weighing the options of those happening against not telling him and when he finds out he feels lied to or not able to trust you.

This is just an opinion nothing i've said is stated in true facts anywhere.. please do not think im trying to tell you what to do.

On a brighter note, Congrats! Being a mother is the best "job" in this world! Best of luck to you!
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March 24th, 2012, 08:06 PM
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2
Thanks. He was with me that morning and instantly knew something was wrong and would not leave me alone. So far he's pretty supportive. He say he would never leave me but he feels sorry for me because I'm so young. I understand, but I feel like I've done enough partying for my lifetime already and would LOVE to be a mother. It's the one job I absolutely look forward to. It just sucks because my parents will probably never talk to me again and finishing school will be difficult.
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March 27th, 2012, 08:51 PM
Alaska Baby14's Avatar Gonna be a family of 4!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Eagle River, Alaska
Posts: 1,390
It may be difficult, but its not impossible! Girls still get it done! My sister was 16 with her 1st and 20 with her 2nd and she's not exactly the most responsible one.. but she's able to work and go to college and take care of her kids.. so while it may be difficult, it can be done! Best of luck to ya!
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March 27th, 2012, 09:49 PM
JennLynn_'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Pickering, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,208
Although i'm quite a bit older than you, I was only with my current boyfriend for 4 months as well when I found out I was pregnant with my current baby.

It was a whirlwind, and i'll be honest, it threw our relationship into a tailspin. Everything changed instantly. There was no more frivolous spending and going out constantly. For various reasons I lived with my parents with my 2 year old daughter (now 3 from a different relationship) and knew that I instantly would have to move out of their house now that I would have TWO children, which I did do this past January. Anyways...

Yes,your parents will be pissed, but they really will get over it. They'll be disappointed, they'll be angry, they'll be... parents.

you CAN do it. I'm currently doing it alone with two kids (I do not live with my current baby's dad), and although i'm much older than you (i'm 33, almost 34) and may be in a different monetary situation than you, you can do what you put your mind to. I know it sounds cliche, but it's true!!

anyways, I just wanted to throw my 2 cents in!!

and congratulations

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March 27th, 2012, 10:42 PM
Co Host - July 2011 PR
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 946
I definetly think you should tell him. At least that way you can get the support from him as well so you`re not carrying all of the stress on your shoulders.
I had my baby boy when I was 21, although my hubby and I planned on having a family young. My cousin had her son in her late 20`s and she`s going through nursing school and her and her hubby was able to figure it out so that she could finish her schooling and what not. There are a lot of moms out there who are able to juggle it so they can still go to school/work full time.
I know it'll probably be really hard but you can do it! Try and reach out to the people close to you so that you have the support you need. Try not to stress too much because that's not good for the baby either. (I know I know, easier said than done)
Good luck and I hope you figure everything out! Keep us posted
Thank you tasha_mae for my beautiful siggy!

Proud mama to 10 month old, Charlie <3 !
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March 29th, 2012, 07:46 AM
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 164
I fell pg the first 6 weeks I was with my husband. Needless to say, we've been married 10 yrs and have three children together. Hope it works out or you two xxx
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