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Unplanned Pregnancy, Fears

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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April 9th, 2012, 04:58 PM
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 60
Well I found out last Thursday that I am pregnant. My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for 8 months(officially for 7), but we have known each other for 12 years. We were using a cervical cap+spermicide+pull out. Huge surprise there, right?

He is thrilled. I am excited yet terrified. I am scared something will go wrong with the pregnancy. I'm also afraid of what's to come and if I can handle it. I am going to be going from a family of two(my son and I) to a family of FOUR by December. My boyfriend is moving in August 1st and we are going to find a new place for our family to live.

Can I handle this? I was in shock for days and it finally hit me yesterday and I was freaking out. It's going to be so many changes. I love this baby already but I am terrified. My son will be almost 4 when the baby is born. Is he going to be upset? I have no idea what to expect.
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April 12th, 2012, 08:59 AM
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 4
Congratulations, Nichole0912, on your pregnancy! The amount of conflicting emotions you go through when you hear of a pregnancy can be overwhelming, can't they??? :-) I know you can do it...and once the intial surprise wears off...I'm sure the excitement and love for this little one will grow more each day. Just keep communicating with each other about all the adjustments coming your way....that will be key.

My kids were spaced pretty close together, but when my last one arrived, my oldest was 3 - going on 4. Though there can be some jealousy, you might be surprised at how much your son will enjoy "helping" you with the new baby (getting diapers for you, trying to make the baby laugh, etc.) During my time working with Focus on the Family, I've been fortunate to read lots of articles and information that has been helpful for our family. One of them had several tips for helping siblings prepare...here they are in a nutshell....feel free to PM me if you want the whole article:

1) Start preparing the child during pregnancy - have them practice holding a doll, etc.
2) Make the birth positive and let the child visit at the hospital...maybe bring a gift for his new sibling.
3) Understand that he may regress (bedwetting, asking for a bottle, etc.) a bit as part of the process of adjusting to the mixed emotions that come with having to "share" mommy.
4) Let him "help"...pick out outfits, etc. so he feels important and needed in the family.
5) Affirm him often - and in front of others, as well.

Sending hugs your way, and wishing you the best with your new growing family! Take care of yourself.
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April 12th, 2012, 05:59 PM
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 14
Yes, congratulations! That is crazy that with those 3 methods, you got pregnant! I have yet to have my first child yet but I have experienced 2 unplanned pregnancies and can definitely relate to the fears. Having experienced miscarriages myself, I can say that from what my support system has told me about the fear of things not going smoothly with the pregnancy -- it is best to just think positive and to enjoy the pregnancy every step of the way, and just to know that a lot of life is simply out of our hands.

In answer to your question -- you definitely can handle this. You are going from a family of 2 to a family of 4 which means you have a great support system and your home is going to be filled with that much more love! You can definitely handle it. And if there are times when you feel like you can't, talk about it with your boyfriend or another loved one, because its certainly normal to feel like you can't.

Anyway, just know you're not alone in what you are feeling and you can handle anything!
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