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Pregnant and scared, please help

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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June 9th, 2012, 10:12 AM
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1
Hi everyone, i am 22 years old and i found out a week ago that i was 8 weeks pregnant. I have been with my boyfriend for 11 months now but we don't leave in the same city he leaves at 2 hours drive from where i leave. I am really confused and scared on what i should do. My boyfriend has his mind pretty much already made up, he doesn't want to have a baby right now, i know if i decide to keep the baby he would still be there for me but i am scared he would not be happy and resent me for keeping this baby.
On the other side, even if my boyfriend has a stable job, i am still going to college, my parents don't leave in the same country as i do and in my country they are really conservative. I don't know if they would ever forgive me of having a baby out of wedlock, i am the oldest in my family and i am supposed to give the good example to my 3 little sisters and i think learning my pregnancy could almost kill my dad and that he would never speak to me again.
I feel like if it was few years down the road this baby would be the greatest thing but i am scarred that if i have an abortion, i am not going to recover from it nor is my relationship.

I would like an honest opinion, have you ever been in a situation like this and how do you live with your decision.

Thank you
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June 9th, 2012, 10:29 AM
Dhartanya's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: North Delta, BC & Tucson, Arizona
Posts: 2,576
Forget your conservative country and family and even boyfriend for a second.

How would you feel if you did have an abortion? Would you then resent your bf? Or your father?

To be honest I'd hold some negative feelings towards my support system who couldn't support me in what I wanted in regards to bringing or not brining a baby into this world. Especially if I were making decisions to keep waves from forming.

Would you rather be resented for bringing a baby ino this world or resent those because you aren't?

If YOU don't want to have a baby, then don't. Just don't let yourself be forced into an obortion by others.

If you choose to continue with pregnancy, your dad may be disappointed.... Let him. Your bf might be mad at first.... Let him. It no doubt won't be perminant.

I don't know if this is helpful.

Hugs for you.
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June 11th, 2012, 10:39 PM
Alaska Baby14's Avatar Gonna be a family of 4!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Eagle River, Alaska
Posts: 1,390
You are the one that has to live with whatever decision you make!

You say your family is conservative, but would they be more upset about you being pregnant out of wedlock or having an abortion?!

Alot of people, whether it be the parents, grand parents or soon to be father, may think its not a good idea.. but after the "shock" wears off, they get excited.. if you decide to keep the baby and they dont get excited, then oh well.. you need to make the decision that is one you can live with!

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June 12th, 2012, 08:43 AM
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 4
Hi there, I'm sorry you don't have the support you need right now – glad you're reaching out here. I sense that you’re really struggling with the idea of having an abortion and that you might not be considering it if you didn't feel pressure from your boyfriend or worries about how your family may react. Like the others have said, even though others may have strong opinions about what you should do, you're the one who has to live with your decision. I would encourage you to try to get in touch with a local Pregnancy Resource Center- they'll have counselors who can help you. To find one, just search on the OptionLine website. Another source of support is Focus on the Family – I work with this organization and wanted to let you know that you can speak with one of their counselors for free by calling 855-771-HELP (4357). I know that none of this is easy, but I hope you feel that you're not alone. Praying for you…
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June 17th, 2012, 02:30 AM
.:Kati:.'s Avatar kyler's mommy
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: memphis,TN
Posts: 930
You need to do what's best for you,nobody is ever truly ready for their first baby. Please don't make this decision based on what anyone thinks about you. I hope you update us soon on your decision..

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July 21st, 2012, 05:50 PM
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 8
i got preg with my first at 22. so long ago. my boyfriend now my husband wanted to get married and i refused untill i was sure fourteen years later we have 4 children he is my best friend. its def had its up and downs and financially we live paycheck yto paycheck but i adore him and my kids.

i believe familes should stay together. pray alot and look for right time to have a very clear conversation with your boyfriend @ what u want and how important having him in your life would be. he will either say yes or no but you will be clear and know what to do next.

their are alot of programs for single or low income families.

i had friend who was single mom put herself thru college now she is professor remarried and just had her 2nd baby.

you can still be fine finish school work and show your family you are a wonderful example and awesome mom.you have right to love ur baby and have ur family. (((hugs)))
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July 23rd, 2012, 01:06 AM
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 75
Sending you good wishes - hope you come back and update us on what's going on.
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