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It's a depressing day today

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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  • 1 Post By abaxter10
  • 1 Post By 3TeamH

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August 27th, 2012, 03:45 PM
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 2
So I've known for about a month now that I am pregnant. I've had an ultrasound and saw the heartbeat but I don't think its fully sunk in yet that I'm going to be a mom. I'm having OVERWHELMING feelings in every direction: one moment I'm ecstatic and the next I'm horribly depressed wondering what I'm going to do. I always imagined this moment being expected... not just thrown at me. I had imagined grinning from ear to ear with joy when my pregnancy test was positive but instead I cried until I passed out from exhaustion.

Everything in my life is so far away from what I wanted it to be for myself let alone my future child. I'm 21 which makes me older than most of the women in my family were when they started having kids and when I tell them I didn't want to have a kid this young they just don't understand at all. My mom and and had all their kids before they were 20. My boyfriend and I don't have jobs right now and don't have a place of our own. When I try to tell my family that I'm worried about this they just remind me that they were in the same position as me(and much much worse) and everything always just works out. I don't want everything to "Just work out." I want to know that I can give my baby a good life.

My pessimistic attitude doesn't help but I don't know how to change that right now. It could be possible that my depression has come back which will make everything that much harder to deal with. I feel like I could just keep going on and on about all of my negative feelings right now but I'm probably scaring anyone away from replying to this. I probably already have. Not like any of you can give me any answers to my own situation anyways. I guess I do want to hear of other people who have made it through very hard financial times while expecting a child and what its like when it finally comes. It's really hard to listen to your own family when their just telling you not to worry.

I need to cheer up
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August 27th, 2012, 05:59 PM
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 12
I'm 24 and 4wks pregnant. My husband and I barely have enough money to scrape by as it is and I have a rare medical disorder that makes pregnancy difficult. I'm honestly not sure how the next 8 months are gonna go...but what we do have is faith. Have it, keep it, hold fast to it. You're going to be fine and you're baby is going to be fine.
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August 27th, 2012, 08:50 PM
3TeamH's Avatar Hayley
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,509
I was 21 when I unexpectedly got pregnant with our first child. I felt very much the same way you did. The day before I found out I was pregnant is the day I put my faith in Jesus. I know it sounds corny, believe me, I do. But with every fiber of my being I know that without have Him in my life I would have been a wreck. I ended up getting plugged in at a church and was cared for dearly by some amazing girls. If you have any interest, I would urge you to seek out counsel either at a church or from a doctor. You can PM if you want to talk.
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August 28th, 2012, 01:05 AM
Athme's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: St Paul, Minnesota
Posts: 1,269
I know exactly how you feel.

My husband and I barely make it and I can't work as I just immigrated to the US and do not have a work permit yet or permanent residency. We can't even get me on his insurance so every-time we see the OB it is $500-$1000 a pop!

We did not plan to become pregnant. I thought I had gastro for the first 3 weeks before I had the pregnancy confirmed at 9 weeks.

The only thing that has helped me is I know I have support and it sounds like you do too. I have my parents (albeit they are in another country) and my husband. We are scared, very scared but we will do our best to make it work.

I say this to myself everyday, maybe it will help you too.

"grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference."

The quote originally has God grant me... but if you are non-denominational just cut that bit out.

I think a lot of us were hoping we would be in a better financial position, had planned better, were older but "life is what happens when we are busy making other plans" so all we can do is make the best of it.
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August 28th, 2012, 09:20 AM
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 2
Thanks for everything you guys wrote. It really helps to hear from other people and it definately puts my situation in perspective. I couldn't imagine being in a new place or having some scary medical condition on top of my financial problems. I'm in a much better mood today thanks to your kind words.

Oh, and my boyfriend and I have been using the Serenity prayer for a while now when we get down and have both been talking about going to the church I went to as a child. It's the one place that I know for sure I'll have the unconditional support and love that I need right now.
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August 28th, 2012, 09:49 AM
Missa_Mae's Avatar First Time Mommy!
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 3,062
I can understand where you're coming from.

While this pregnancy wasn't completely unplanned, it was not expected this soon. My SO is still in shock, and now tells me that this was a mistake. We are pretty financially stable for the most part ... but we live in a tiny house and not sure where we are going to put everything. This has caused me to go into a very bad depression/anxiety to the point where I can't get off the couch, I can't go to work (thank God I have the option for disability pay) ...

My Dr. just started me on a low dose of Zoloft that I started last night but it takes a few weeks to build up in your system. I had a horrible break down last night & almost went to the ER because I couldn't breathe. I just called the OB to see if there is anything else I can take right now to get through this.

Since we're already pregnant, it's too late to turn around and change what happened. You may qualify for state-assisted programs like Welfare or WIC. I would look into that before the baby comes so you are prepared.

Also, if you are feeling depressed, I would reach out to your Dr. because Depression can affect the baby & you'll want to get that treated right away.
Oh, Sweet Child of Mine

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September 3rd, 2012, 06:17 AM
.:Kati:.'s Avatar kyler's mommy
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: memphis,TN
Posts: 930
It will get easier hun,it's all worth it i promise!

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