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Please help, so confused

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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September 21st, 2012, 08:32 AM
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2
I am 21, have dated my boyfriend for about 2 years now and we are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy. First thing he said was no matter what I will support you and be there forever for the baby and you.

Well I know he also isn't ready (mentally) for the responsibilities for the baby and he would prefer that I get an abortion. The biggest issue with us is the timing, we just wish getting pregnant happened 5 or 6 years later than this. I think I want the baby, but is that selfish since I know he isn't all for it? He will support me and get ready for the baby, I just know that he really doesn't want to grow up so fast.

I know abortion is the smartest decision, but I don't feel my situation is bad enough to get one. I have an amazing boyfriend who has a full-time job and always takes care of me. We live in his parents basement. He has an awesome family and even though we live in the basement its rent free and sets us up to save the money we need to support a child. I would be graduated from college by the time he/she is born and be able to focus on being a mom.

We are scared and I can't decide what to do. I need some advise please
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September 21st, 2012, 10:58 AM
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 464
If you aren't 100% sure about abortion, don't do it. If you want the baby, let it grow. Maybe getting some input from a counselor would help especially since your BF says he is supportive. You are definitely facing a huge decision, but there are resources out there for you if you want to keep the pregnancy. I'm almost 6 months pregnant right now and I feel scared about how we are going to make it financially and how it it going to effect out relationship and everything, but I know that this baby is so worth it. Also, I've known many people who have regretted getting an abortion, but I still haven't heard from anyone who kept the baby that they wished they had aborted. Good Luck sweetie!
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September 22nd, 2012, 11:53 AM
Leogirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,163
You need to sit down with your SO and talk about it. Go though what each of you want to happen and discuss the results of every option you have. Take that info and let that help make your choice.

You may want to go to Planned Parenthood for pregnancy counseling. They will be able to answer any questions and give you lots of info on all of your options and will be able to provide you with resources to use regardless of what you choose.

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September 26th, 2012, 01:31 PM
Posts: n/a
Sit down with your boyfriend and discuss every option you guys have. Like razzlebaby27 said, if you're not sure an abortion is for the best, then don't do it. The baby deserves a chance, he or she shouldn't be terminated just because their parents were unsure. Most people I know who have had abortions, have regretted it, big time. I'm 10wks pregnant, and i've only been with my boyfriend for a few short months.. we're terrified but now, starting to get a bit excited. Your boyfriend said he will always be there, and if you can take his word for it, then I think you should continue with your pregnancy. And you said, you don't feel your situation is bad enough to get one.. you sound like you don't really want one hun. Good luck, whatever you choose xx
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September 26th, 2012, 03:26 PM
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 9
Confused Mommy, I can imagine all the emotions you are experiencing right now! I wish I could give you a hug! It is obvious that you are trying to figure out what to do and have many questions and thoughts going through your mind, especially with your boyfriend not being totally on board and trying to finish college. Hey, I realize that you have a lot to process and struggling with all of these conflicting feelings you have. It is good that you have come here to receive advice and support.

You mentioned that your boyfriend has an awesome family, but you didn't say anything about yours. Do you have a trusted friend or family member besides your boyfriend that you can talk to in person? I know how beneficial it is for me to have a support system when life throws a curveball. You might consider looking into getting some help from a local pregnancy resource center. The staff are caring, non-judgmental and can offer counsel. I know that you can locate centers in your area by giving OptionLine a call at 1-800-712-HELP. Their site has a great deal of useful information about issues related to a unplanned pregnancy. This might be worth checking out.

I will be praying!
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