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Any advice??

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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  • 1 Post By Hunnyb2fly

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November 27th, 2012, 05:06 PM
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Arizona
Posts: 11
I have two children(8 yr old daughter and 4 yr old son) I am no longer with their father as of this past April. It hurt my kids for us to split but we've honestly never worked and just stayed together for the kids. He has moved on n now is with a girl that has her own three kids. I was hurt at first that he in my eye replaced us,( I did fight for as long as I could take for my family to stay together) but in the end it's probably for the best we aren't together. I live him but really only because of the kids and vice versa. After awhile i moved on as well. I had been good friends with a guy since march and in July we decided to start a relationship. Things moved fast! Too fast, after a month I was pregnant, we talked long n thought hard and decided to have an abortion, it was not an easy decision and I do regret it every day. After that we became closer n closer, he moved in and we even talked about the future n actually having kids. We started to get serious and stopped being so safe during sex. Things are going great until the beginning of nov something happened and he decided to take a step back, he moved out n we tried to just be friends, we love each other so much that we can never be just friends, we still talk everyday, are together intimately and only with each other, we pretty much are together, just need to fix things on our own lives before we completely involve someone else in it.
Mid Nov comes around n my period doesn't come, right away he thinks I'm pregnant, I was just not ready to admit that, nov. 21 I decide it's time to take a test, its positive, I'm pregnant.
We talk, he's scared n not sure he's ready for this, his choice would be to not have it, but he says it's my choice and supports whatever I decide and will be there no matter what. I don't want him to hate me, I don't want my kids to hate me, I don't want him to feel like this baby or even I ruined his life, he wants to b there but doesn't want it to feel like a baby is the reason why we are together.
The help I'm looking for is just someone to reassure me that keeping it is right, it's ok to have two baby daddies, how should I tell him I decided to keep it, when he asks why what do I say, m how will I tell my kids father?
My estimated due date is July 24th 2013 which I take as a sign(my grandma passed away good Friday of this year and July 24th is her bday) also July 25th will be one year since he and I got together. Please help and I'm already an emotional mess n just very depressed and going through lots of hard times n situations so please no negativity about my previous abortion, I deal with that pain every day I don't need anyone shoving the knife in even more.
Truth is I'm excited about this baby, how do I get him to feel that way, I know eventually he will but how do I assure him everything's gonna be fine?

Last edited by Hunnyb2fly; November 27th, 2012 at 05:08 PM.
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November 27th, 2012, 05:12 PM
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Arizona
Posts: 11
Update: I told my SO my decision and his response was: we'll talk later, now I'm just terrified of what he's gonna say. He's a good guy, n I don't wanna feel like I'm hurting him. He's gonn ask me why I'm deciding this n idk what to
Say, "cuz I want to" doesn't seem like a good statement, so I don't know what to say to help him see that keeping it is the right choice.
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November 29th, 2012, 09:22 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: southern cali
Posts: 3,549
i hope it all works out for you.
what goes around, comes around.....
speak with kindness....

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November 30th, 2012, 02:26 AM
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 5
Only you know if it is the right decision for you and maybe that is all you need to worry about. You shouldn't worry about your ex, he has no say in your life anymore unless it's about your kids together. Also, your babys dad will have to live with your decision so instead of telling him this is whats going to happen.. let him know why you have decided that and try to understand where he is coming from, but ultimately its your choice & your the only that can make and will have to life with it
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November 30th, 2012, 07:00 PM
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Arizona
Posts: 11
Thanks! Update: I've definitely decided im having this baby! We are very excited!! Yes that's right, We!! I think we were both just really scared about this but once we talked and it actually hit us that this is happening we have both decided that we are soo excited for this baby!! I'm definitely still scared of what ex is gonna say, and his family too, I'm close with his family and I work with his mom. I'm not planning on telling them any time soon.
KPARRAKR likes this.
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December 6th, 2012, 08:47 AM
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 18
That's wonderful news! You will be able to do this.
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pregnant and confused, scared, telling my boyfriend, telling my kids

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