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Looking for advice. This is very complicated...

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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  • 1 Post By missy123
  • 1 Post By Ame C
  • 1 Post By Laura_2012
  • 1 Post By Jessica0608
  • 2 Post By momof8lopez
  • 1 Post By jennjenn84

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December 27th, 2012, 11:40 AM
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 316
The very last thing I need is judgement. I'm in a really effed up situation. I've been married for 6.5 years and have three children. My marriage has been less than perfect on both parts. In the last year I've learned that my husband is bisexual. Cheated on me a few times. Aside from that there are tons of other issues. I play on a coed sports team and stupidly started fooling around with this kid on my team. He's a bit younger than me. I'm 30. Teach kindergarten. Life is ok besides the marital crap. Well the kid didn't pull out in time and I found out Christmas eve I'm pregnant. My husband is fixed and we don't sleep together anyway (I'm filing for divorce next month). So When the accident occurred we decided if I became preg we'd figure it out. Kinda agreed on abortion. But I'm going back and forth on what to do. I don't believe in it. I got pg with my first at 20 and I kept my son. Now here I am contemplating what to do. All the lives this baby would disrupt. My inlaws, the dads fam, his life path, my uncertainty of being able to be the single mother of four. How will my family react? How would this affect my children?
I dunno what to do. My bffs think I should terminate. Another one is convincing me to keep it.

Really really reallllly sucks.

Any advice would be appreciated. This was very difficult to share.
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December 27th, 2012, 02:40 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,418
What is YOUR heart telling you?
Lyndsey2013 likes this.

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
Do not ever give up hope...

Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.

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December 27th, 2012, 02:54 PM
Ame C's Avatar Every breath is a gift.
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,915
Choose life for your precious baby. Everything happens for a reason and if you don't think this baby should be apart of your life then let it be apart of someone else's. Please consider adoption before you consider death for your child.
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December 27th, 2012, 02:56 PM
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 316
My heart is confused. I gave a friend who had an abortion after I tried to convince her not to. Now she is here for me and has asked the same thing.
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December 27th, 2012, 06:41 PM
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 18
Give yourself a little while to sort through the feelings and emotions before making the final decision. This is a life your talking about as taking its life would be something you would have to try and live with the rest of your life. That may be something you can live with but it may not be. Take some time for yourself to sort through this. Adoption would be a wonderful blessing for a family to love and cherish this little life inside you if its too much for you right now in the time of your life you are in.
What is your heart telling you?
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December 27th, 2012, 09:12 PM
DeletedUser12345's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Seattle
Posts: 2,668
It seems to me that you really don't want to get an abortion or you wouldn't be so torn. All my friends who have always ask what if... Im pregnant now by some random person.. long story.. but currently going through a divorce as well. No kids from that marriage. It wasn't that long.. but I dont plan on telling the ex since it doesn't effect him at all. Either way.. it is your choice and you shouldn't let your husband or the father make you abort your child if you don't want to. That should be your choice. I wish you the best.
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December 28th, 2012, 07:44 AM
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 316
Thanks ladies! I'm trying to think less and follow my heart more. So glad to have found this board.
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December 28th, 2012, 08:59 AM
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1
If you are weighing your options, there is adoption. If you personally are not ready for another child, you can still give it life. My husband and I are a loving Christian couple who desire to be parents but are not fortunate to conceive. We are ready to begin an adoption asap. We have contacted a local attorney who is ready to help us once we find our future baby.

God Bless,
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December 28th, 2012, 09:27 AM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,894
Sounds like you are more prepared to have this baby than you think you are. If you were not, you would of already made the decision to abort. I have been in your shoes, while married, and kept my baby. I have also had an abortion in my teens, and lived with regret my whole life, but would not of had the life I have now if I chose a different path. Everything will work out no matter what your desicion is, regret and life changes will happen in both directions. Make the best of it and do what your heart wants, not what other people want. You will be the one affected the most, not your kids, not the men in your life. Hope you find happiness soon and someone to love you and all your decisions, their are never bad decisions, just what's right for you.
TnPhotoMama81 and Lyndsey2013 like this.
momma of 8 beautiful children now. Most recent is Jerry Jr. born 11/19/12 at 37wk, 7lbs 6oz and 19.5inches and Baby Reymundo born 10/7/13 at 35w6d, 6lbs 7oz, 19.5 inches. Momma of 5 angels. New siggy to come!

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December 28th, 2012, 03:08 PM
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 26
If your against abortion, then consider adoption. It was not the childs fault that he/she was conceived, so how would it disrupt others lives? Its just a baby. If you don't think it would be the best interest of the child to be in your or BD's life, adoption is a wonderful option. I hope you figure things out and best of luck!
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January 3rd, 2013, 10:58 AM
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Somewhere in the universe =P
Posts: 192
Abortion is not an option. Dont give up your baby, like pps told ya, consider adoption if you don't want the baby.
I have the best job in the world the second time! -- and I'm lovin' it!
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