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UNplanned & UNsure . . .

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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  • 1 Post By lucyinthesky

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January 9th, 2013, 02:15 PM
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1
Hi everyone,

I first want to start off by saying how much I appreciate all of your unbiased thoughts and opinions. PLEASE no rude or judgmental comments. Thanks!

I just found out that I was 6 weeks pregnant and I'm confused as to whether or not I should move forward with the pregnancy . . .

When I first found out I was in shock but was pretty confident that I wanted to keep the baby. However after discussing the situation with my boyfriend I am now unsure . . .

I am 26 yrs old and would be 27 by the time I gave birth (If I choose to keep the pregnancy). However my boyfriend of 3 yrs.- who is slightly younger would be 25. Although we live together - both have full time jobs and are probably more mature than most people our age - we both have not reached our career goals yet. I have a bachelors degree but am currently working a "day job" so that I can continue pursuing my life long dream of starting my own business. The job I currently have doesn't offer benefits however I have my own private insurance that would cover my pre-natal care and most of my deliver cost's, etc. The job I have now also does not offer maternity leave however I can work from home if needed as I am not required to be in the office.

My bf was initially shocked - as expected and is adamant about me not keeping the pregnancy. Although we have discussed how we would really like to have children together someday, he has made it clear that he is not ready to be a father yet and is not ready to give up his 'life'. I told him that although I will be taking his opinions into consideration that at the end of the day it's my body & my decision and that I would hope he would support me with whatever decision I choose to make. He said he would be there for the child regardless of what happens to our relationship. And as much as it would be difficult to be a single mother I know I could do it if I had to. We were also considering taking a 'break' before I found out I was pregnant which doesn't quite help the situation either.

I know that right now we are not financially ready for a child but I also know that we can get ready. I am also concerned that neither one of us have family where we live to help support us although we do have a lot of dependable friends.

I am hesitant to terminate the pregnancy because I have already terminated a pregnancy once before (years ago). At that time I knew that 'I' was making the right decision and till this day I do not have any regrets. Today at almost 27yrs old I do not know for sure that I would be making the right decision. I am afraid I might do something that I would regret for the rest of my life. I am trying to come to a conclusion with not only what my mind say's but what my heart tells me as well. And right now they are not in agreement .

I know that baby's are blessing's & that we CAN do it but the question is SHOULD we do it??

I plan on making a final decision by the end of the week so the more advice the better .

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January 13th, 2013, 04:55 PM
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If for even a second you think you might regret it, then don't do it. I think you can make things work.. but really it's a personal decision. You both have jobs, that's a good thing. You live together, you've been together 3 years so you know each other.. you could definitely make this work. Maybe your boyfriend will come around after the initial shock. Best of luck, whatever you decide
MIL2lissy8 likes this.
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January 13th, 2013, 07:30 PM
Missa_Mae's Avatar First Time Mommy!
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 3,062

In the end it is your decision to make and no matter how much advice people give you, it's still has to be your OWN decision.

You say you know babies are a blessing and that the two of you CAN do it ... so what's the question here?

I terminated a pregnancy when I was 18 and I knew in my head & my heart 100% that the decision I made was the absolute best (based on my situation) and I never let it bother me ... until I got pregnancy last summer (it was planned). Not that I regretted the termination, just felt guilty about being pregnant and being excited for this baby ...

Best bet is to look at your situation and make a decision based on your feelings, not based on if you SHOULD keep it ... nobody can tell you if you should or shouldn't
Oh, Sweet Child of Mine

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January 14th, 2013, 03:46 PM
ninja_mommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Oahu
Posts: 7,228
What are your thoughts on adoption?

Oct '11 June '12
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