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So confused and not sure what to do.

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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January 15th, 2013, 01:07 PM
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1
I am not sure what I should do…

I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year...been living together for four months. I am 29 and he is 27. Well I just found out that I am five weeks pregnant. This was not planned, I am on birth control..and took it the same time every night. Well when I told my boyfriend…the first thing he told me to do was, to find a clinic and we will get rid of it. I was pissed off at him for that, not even asking me if I am ok. I’m not against people doing that, and I even thought about it once I found out…It just the first thing to come out of his mouth was that.

No way I can raise a baby by myself…I only say that, because my boyfriends work is transferring to New Jersey, we are in Texas. We talked about once he gets settle in I could move up there, but that was before we found out I was pregnant….Now with me being pregnant, I can’t move up there, I need to be on insurance. I have a good stable job here. Also it seems we were heading towards a breakup…even before the whole pregnancy thing.

His reason behind why I should get one, is because it’s not the right time. That he would pay child support and not be able to see the child or me. That wouldn’t be fair to him. I have thought about going through with an abortion, but when I think about it, I get the feeling in my stomach like I wouldn’t be able to go through with it, like I will regret it. I don't know what to do. I want the baby but don’t want it to have no dad. I want him in the child’s life. And don’t want to be on my own through it all. I know I will be struggling raising the child..and I know my family would be there for me but it’s not the same. Not sure what I should do?!
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January 15th, 2013, 01:25 PM
Excited first time mommy!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 245
Sorry to hear that you're going through all of this. I am lucky to have a supportive daddy in my life for our baby and I don't know how I'd get through all of this without him. However... I know someone who ended their pregnancy with the pushing of their partner almost two decades ago and she still wishes she wouldn't have listened to him. I think the risks of abortion outweigh the risk of a child not having a father... It's not the worst thing and you'd be amazed how strong you can be. My opinion is to encourage you to have more faith in yourself to raise this child with or without the father's involvement. If you do stay with the father and have an abortion, the emotional turmoil is far worse and will probably end your relationship as I've seen it happen countless times.
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January 16th, 2013, 10:31 PM
DeletedUser12345's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Seattle
Posts: 2,668
I am so sorry you are going through this.. but I'd say listen to your heart. Im keeping mine and the father will not ever have to pay support (as he wont work) and will not have anything to do with it at all. If you've got a guy willing to do the right thing regardless of if he wants it now or not.. then I'd say you should keep it if you want it. I remember my first ultrasound at 7 weeks from my last period.. and I saw the head moving around and heart beating already. Its life.. Plus, worst case scenario.. if you do it yourself.. state assistance is there temporarily if you need it to get on your feet. Im not an advocate of living off of it.. but if you need it, it is there. You will be fine.
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January 17th, 2013, 02:41 PM
mrsjl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Halifax, Nova Scotia
Posts: 4,917
if you think you might regret it, you will. you will always wonder "what if" but if you keep it, you will NEVER look at your child and say "I wish I had gotten an abortion"

having a life with 'only' a loving and devoted mother and no father is better than no life at all, IMO.
mom to
Rebecca (11/22/07) Nathan (7/31/10) & Thomas (5/3/13)
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