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Mid-30's, unplanned pregancy, stable relationship

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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February 8th, 2013, 11:37 AM
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 3
So what's the problem, right?

I am 34 and just moved in with my partner (who is 31) in January 2013. We have been dating 15 months. Moving in together was a bit sooner than we had planned, but we felt ready. We just found out I am pregnant and I haven't even been for my confirmation with my doc yet, but go next week. I think I'm about 4 weeks but could be even further along. The last few months have been extremly stressful for me due to several personal issues. My period is regular, and I track my ovulation timing, but don't measure temperature, etc. My period was off in December, perhaps due to stress. Normally we only use condoms when I'm ovulating, but of course I've miscalculated, probably due to my period becoming irregular.

The problem is that I feel unready and that I haven't had enough time with my partner to be ready for a baby. We are still getting used to living together. We had both previously discussed we wanted children together, so that's not the issue. It is the fact that we anticipated some relaxing time together, perhaps some travel, etc, and of course a little freedom. We figured we would start trying in a few years, but I know pushing into later 30's it can be difficult to conceive for some women. I also recognize it can take years for some women to conceive. My sister had 3 miscarriages and after 16 years of marriage just adopted. I know I am 'lucky' but some measures.

I am pro-choice but have always known in my heart that termination would not be an option for me if faced with that difficult decision. My boyfriend is supportive either way and we had plans to get married anyway.

We are financially stable and love each other. I know no one can answer this question for me, but am looking for some insight or experience into having a first child unplanned or somewhat early on in a stable relationship - I do not mean several months in. What about your time with your partner? Your own free time? I have always wanted children, but under unplanned circumstances, I am not feeling as thrilled as I thought I'd one day feel.

Thank you for any responses.
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in a relationship, living together, unplanned

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