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21 pregnant and confused..

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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  • 3 Post By mamatomany

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April 3rd, 2013, 06:01 PM
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 2
I recently found out I am 5 weeks pregnant, Im a recent college grad and have yet to find a job in my field. The dad who I had been with for over 2 years and recently split up when I moved back home lives in Miami he got shot a year ago and has no income right now and is still in a wheelchair unable to walk. He also has a record so if he was to walk again finding a job is extremeley difficult. I had an abortion with him over a year ago and it was traumatic I promised myself I would never do it again, but I dont see how this child could have a good life with us we are still kids ourselves. I don't know what to do... my parents hate him but said they would be supportive no matter what I chose... I just dont know what to do. I dont want to mess up my career im so confused....
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April 3rd, 2013, 08:55 PM
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 362
Is adoption an option for you? If not, how do you think you can cope with another termination? What would be your preliminary plan of you decide to have/raise baby? Health care? Income? Living situation? Daycare? Father's right to see baby?
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April 4th, 2013, 12:47 AM
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 2
Adoption isnt an option to me personally if I have the baby I will keep the baby....I think I could handle another one I just dont want to.... and I have no clue if i was to keep the baby. The father would be an amazing dad emotionally just not finacially he is begging me to keep the baby. My parents would help me they are supportive to whatever I decide but lean more towards abortion right now, but if they support me financially the father cant be involved as he lives in FL .... I just dont think its right to bring a child into this mess...
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April 4th, 2013, 09:30 AM
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 21
Hi, I just caught your post and I'm so sorry you're going through so much right now. It's definitely not easy to know how to respond to an unplanned pregnancy, but I wouldn't make any hasty decisions-especially since you know how hard the last abortion was on you. But, I would definitely reach out for some help and support, and not go through this time alone. I'm glad your parents seem supportive of you, but you also might want to get in touch with a Crisis Pregnancy Center. They have a lot info and assistance available for women in your shoes. And, I know you can find one in your area by calling something named OptionLine (1/800-712-HELP). Well, hang in there and know that someone out there is praying for you! ((Hugs))
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April 4th, 2013, 10:08 PM
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Saipan
Posts: 9
well i know you been to alot but believe it of not i was only 18 when i was pregnant my dad was in a critical condition at the time and i ony have my bro to depend on i was thinking of the same thing abortion but i thought again i might not be ready but who am i to take away the life of this growing child inside me if your not ready then perhaps go for adoption give the baby inside of you a chance to see the world and perhaps in the turn of tables you might fine a job while ur pregnancy anything is possible but to take away the life of that infant its not in our hand to choose that for every living being deserves to see how nice the world can be there them even if it might be for a short time at least they were given the chance to see it right well that wat i think its still up to you
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April 5th, 2013, 01:07 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 848
You're actually incredibly blessed to have both the baby's father and your own parents being supportive of you keeping the baby. Those two things are usually big obstacles for young people. I was 21 when I got pregnant with my daughter, and my husband was 22. We were very poor for the first few years as he was in grad school and it was hard work to make ends meet. But I have never for one moment regretted having my daughter and we are doing great. It won't always be easy, but you have a great support network and that's what is important. Your tiny son or daughter needs your love and protection, and you have plenty of that to provide. There are lots of aid programs to help you while you are getting your feet under you. Believe me, your precious baby is worth every ounce of financial struggle and when you feel that first kick and then finally hold him or her in your arms you'll never look back.
missy123, Loving6 and MIL2lissy8 like this.
Brooke, happy mama to one girl (9), and four boys (7, 5, 3, and 2) and a surprise post-vasectomy miracle baby born February 7.
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April 5th, 2013, 09:40 PM
Wanta.number2's Avatar Hi, I'm Tiffani!
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,260
I just wanted to add that I am sorry that you're going through this right now, but the above poster is right, you are very lucky to have the support you do from the father and your parents. I was 21 once, and broke, and got pregnant with my husband's child at 22. We were poor and I was a first time mom with very idea what I was doing.
Let me tell you, you are a young, educated woman. I know this is tough right now, but man, do those years during your early twenties FLY. You're scared now, but use the support you have, do what you have to do, but eventually you will be successful and look back and say, "Wow. Look where I was and what I have accomplished." Have faith in yourself. This time will not last forever.
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April 6th, 2013, 10:16 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: TEXAS!
Posts: 1,773
There's no perfect time to have a child. If you weren't interested into bringing one into the world a year ago with this guy while you were together, I'm not sure doing it now is the "right" decision. Frankly, I think posting on a forum is a bad idea. Only you can make this choice for yourself. If you decide to go ahead and have a baby, it will change your life. It sounds like you have good support systems in place (especially with your parents), which is great. That makes things a lot easier. But don't beat yourself up if that isn't the path you choose. Don't let anyone guilt you into going against your instinct.
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confused, unplanned pregnancy

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