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Stressed and worried! Really didn't want another!

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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April 25th, 2013, 10:09 PM
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 1
My husband and I have been married for 3 years... Recently we have had some really hard times like most people do! He has said from day one he would like to have a baby and I have said not so much! He has 3 kids from previous relationships 2 of which we don't see but he pays support for and the other we see regularly. I have a son from a previous relationship. The youngest is his daughter she is 5 and my son is almost 7. I just found out I am pregnant! We didn't have insurance for two years and we always use condoms. He is over the moon ecstatic but I feel sick to my stomach! He don't understand! I am worried about how we will feed ourselves somedays and now this! I don't know if I can go back to diapers and bottles and no sleep and all that goes along with it! I am scared to death!!! If we were in a better situation it might not be as bad but I just don't know what I'm going to do?!?! Any advice to help calm my nerves or what to do?
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April 25th, 2013, 11:27 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Thornton, Colorado
Posts: 510
I don't know if I have any advice to help you or calm you down but I can tell you that I understand how it is not being in a financially comfortable position to have a baby!

My boyfriend and I are pregnant with our first child which was unplanned but are not in a good position financially. I stress out at times about it but this is just the situation we're in and I know there's not much more we can do about it so I just let it go and tell myself that somehow things will work out. I'm currently unemployed and he works full time and in the process of finding another job to bring in more money but there's just not enough to go around!

I'm thankful we have a roof over our heads but getting food on the table and bills paid is so hard to do every month. I would see if you qualify for WIC in your area which helps us a lot. It's gives us the necessities each month so we know we won't starve lol

You just have to take a deep breathe and look into what resources are available to you in your area and what you qualify for. Just know you're not alone and it's ok to be afraid! It's scary when you know you're bringing a new life into this world and you're having a hard time just making things meet at it is!
"Machete don't text..."

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April 26th, 2013, 09:13 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 848
First off, remember that something as big as a new baby takes time to sink in even for people who are in a 'good position ' to have a baby, so you're not alone! I want to encourage you because my parents had very little money and they raised eight kids. We were poor, but really I never even knew it because my mom always made sure we were fed and clothed and loved. Your new little one needs only love right now, so even better! I agree with other poster that programs like WIC can be a big help if you qualify. As for diapers and bottles and such, yes, it's a big change but your other children are older and so you won't have toddlers but you will have helpers!

Anyway, all thwt to say I think it won't be as hard as it seems right now! Big hugs!
Brooke, happy mama to one girl (9), and four boys (7, 5, 3, and 2) and a surprise post-vasectomy miracle baby born February 7.
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April 27th, 2013, 05:30 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 2,992
Im in the spot you are in, there are things out there that can/will help. You can apply for wic, you will get food monthly, you can go on food stamps, reach up, and don't feel ashamed you need help either.

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April 28th, 2013, 11:40 AM
DeletedUser12345's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Seattle
Posts: 2,668
I was beyond stressed and worried as I just got out of a divorce and not on my feet fully yet when I found out I was pregnant. I never thought I'd have to look into it but I was only working a seasonal retail job at the time and had no insurance and left my ex with my stuff across the country! Well, th stat insurance was relatively easy to get as my income was not enough and I had none.. It kicked in the first of the next month. I was 11 weeks when I got my first appointment covered. After that, I started taking my whole paycheck for baby stuff and got all sorts of amazing deals of clothes second hand.. It wasn't cutting it so I asked for food stamps and got a little. It was a huge help. Then I had low blood pressure with the pregnancy and was not getting enough water so I felt like I was going to pass out all the time and my job was not listening to doctors notes to help me at all.. They expected me on my feet and climbing ladders all day and I was starting to get bad cramps during work so at 22weeks I left. I reached out for help again and just got given some state cash assistance. It isn't much but enough to suppliment food the rest of the way and pay for gas and a few baby things. Luckily I had most necessities already covered. I also just got on wic which is amazing because it covers some fresh fruits and veggies, milk, cereal, etc.. It's a lifesaver.. Now I'm about to hit my third trimester and I'm excited about my little man.. I also plan to use state assistance after he is born to get into a better job to get on my feet.. There are a lot of programs out there for people who really need it. It definitely can't hurt to go in to your state assistance office to see what you can receive help with to remove the burden some. A baby can be a blessing and I'm so sorry you are so stressed and worried. I can't say I'm completely stress free but I feel like I can breathe a little and know my baby will be just fine. It took until I had things more prepared for me to relax, though. I hope they can give you some kind of help to be able to handle it a bit more.
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