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Am I the father?Please help,I'm losing my mind!!!!!

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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  • 2 Post By Urchin
  • 1 Post By Lyndsey2013

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August 15th, 2013, 04:37 PM
kg kg is offline
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Pretoria,South Africa
Posts: 6
Hi ladies.I'm a guy but i need your advice.I'm so stressed because my girlfriend is pregnant and she says the child is mine.what happened is that we had sex on Sunday,30 June 2013(our first time and USED A CONDOM),and as we were chilling on Thursday 4 July,she became all sick(nausea,feeling bloated,intense sense of smell,weirdest of cravings). it happened the following day and i took her to the doctor.when she got out she told me that the tests said she is pregnant.now my question is,is it possible to have morning sickness 4 days after sex,and is it even possible to show that shes pregnant within 5 days?I'm not denying that the baby is mine,it is just that i want to be 100% sure because I have uncovered so much lies in the past few weeks and I'mstarting to doubt if it is mine.I think the most important factors are that it was our first time having sex,and that we used a condom(it did not break).I did my crash course on pregnancies and i realized that implantation(which takes between 6-12 days) has to occur before the hCG hormone is released/produced.this is the hormone used to determine your pregnancy status.

Let me close of by asking those two questions:
--is it possible,by the slightest chance,to have morning sickness 4 days after sex?
--is it possible to have a positive pregnancy test 5 days after sex?

im losing my mind trying to figure out if I'm the father.its 1 in the morning in SA and I'm always online looking for help while i should be sleeping.this has been going on since the day she told me i made her pregnant.in all honesty,i think the guy she thought was the man of her dreams told her to get lost and denied the baby and now shes using me so that the baby can at least have a father.
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August 17th, 2013, 07:17 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 542
I think you already know the answer, otherwise I doubt you'd be asking.

Implantation tends to take place 6-12 days past ovulation, you can fertilize the egg the day after ovulation. So she could implant as soon as 5 days past sex.

Morning sickness symptoms can happen for some women around the time they ovulate. It is normal for those women though and so they don't usually worry about it.

The earliest a urine test says they can detect pregnancy is 5 days before a missed period.

The earliest a blood test can detect a pregnancy is 7-12 days past ovulation.

good luck
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August 17th, 2013, 08:09 AM
ducksaresnazzy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: new york
Posts: 2,479
some people do get pregnant the first time they have sex; my mother did. i got pregnant the first time after a three month break. it does happen.

as for symptoms, mine hit me like a ton of bricks immediately. i was vomiting, moody, and exhausted all the time.

i know nothing about the timing, or anything, so i'm going to touch that.

at the first ultrasound, they can usually determine pretty accurately how far along the baby is. that'll help you figure out if you were the one in there at the time of conception. if i were you, i'd insist on being in the room for it so you can hear for yourself what the technician has to say about the baby's age. there is usually a window of time, but with me it was only a few days' time (i was told between 12w,3d and 12w,5d).

if i could be so bold.. may i ask if you want to be the father? or are you just trying to find the truth?
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August 17th, 2013, 01:27 PM
~ ttc island baby #3 ~
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,547
Sure there is a chance that the baby is yours. I mean, you did have sex, so that makes it possible....BUT I might as well tell you that in my opinion, it may be that she was already pregnant and knew about it before you two had sex, the one time with a condom. Then it was pretty easy for her to say it is yours and there being no point in you denying it since you did have sex. See my point?

It honestly seems very unlikely that you had sex, implantation happened within just a few days and a pregnancy test confirmed it right away. Usually it takes a while for pregnancy to be confirmed. Usually after implantation, it takes another 24-48 hours for the hcg levels to be enough for a test to pick them up. But then again, you already know this since you did your research. I also have a feeling you already know the answer to your own question, don't you?

If you are in serious doubt I would find out the exact due date from her Dr. as well as have a paternity test done.

Good luck!!!

~Always missing our angel baby 16/3/2013~
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August 17th, 2013, 04:01 PM
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: London, KY
Posts: 255
Send a message via Skype™ to frankielee09
It is not yours!! In my experience from testing so much trying to conceive, there's no possible way that a pregnancy will show up only 5 days after having sex!! The way things are determined with the pregnancy is by the first day of the last mentrual period. It is said that a woman can get pregnant around day 8-15 of her cycle. When your gf does the first ultrasound, they will tell her how far along she is. Be sure to go with her no matter what excuse she makes up!! Keep in mind that when they say she is 4 weeks, she got pregnant 2 weeks before. The earliest I have ever found out I was pregnant was about 8 days after sex with a very good pregnancy test that measures even the lowest possible hcg level a urine pregnancy test can measure! What was her hcg level at this time? When someone is very early pregnant, like I was this time, their hcg level in the blood is very low. Mine was only 132 and that was about 2 days before I even had a due period. This would be close to two weeks after I ovulated. I feel for you my friend. I have had friends of mine get blamed for girls babies that turned out not belonging to them. I'm not one of them, but some girls just want a responsible baby daddy and try to play it off like the baby belongs to someone else because they think they'd be a better father than the actual dad. Good Luck!!

PS Let me make this a lil clearer. Sperm can live up to 3 days. If your gf ovulated on the day you had sex and she got pregnant, her hcg level would be even lower than mine! As long as the hcg level is over 25, she is considered pregnant. Make her get bloodwork and see what the level is. Also, everyone experiences nausea at different times. Any more questions, don't hesitate to contact me!

Thanks Jaidynsmum for my awesome siggy!!

Last edited by frankielee09; August 17th, 2013 at 04:04 PM.
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October 7th, 2013, 12:08 PM
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 78
The HCG level would not be enough to detect a pregnancy within 5 days of having sex so I'm sorry but I think it would be a Miricle if this baby was yours. Usually women start feeling nauseous from 6 weeks after the first day of their last menstrual period. I would get a DNA for peace of mind. I would also ask her the first day of her last period and how long her cycle is to get a rough idea when she ovulated. Usually this is 14 days before the next period is due (regardless of how long cycles are) if she's regular you get a better idea of dates. The earliest a woman can get a positive is 7days post ovulation. I would be extremely sceptical if I was you.
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October 8th, 2013, 07:50 AM
Urchin's Avatar Loving every minute.
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Atlantic Canada
Posts: 8,323
I think it is nearly impossible that this baby is yours.

If she gets an early ultrasound, I think it will show that she's a lot further along than she is claiming.

For her to get a positive test 5 days after she had sex with you is very unlikely. Not impossible, but like, EXTREMELY unlikely.
Lyndsey2013 and LUSHaye like this.
Thank-you Bokkechick for the beautiful siggy!

Proud mama to Audrina (10-10-2011) & Bryden (09-19-2014)

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October 20th, 2013, 01:48 PM
Lyndsey2013's Avatar expecting in June 2018
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 655
I agree with the previous posters in that you need to accompany her to any ultrasounds. Sometimes they are offered at the first appointment around week 8 (6 weeks after conception) for dating purposes, optionally around week 12 for a nuchal translucency test to determine down's syndrome risks, and at week 20 for an anatomy scan. I would definitely accompany her to her first appointment.
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October 20th, 2013, 10:43 PM
DeletedUser12345's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Seattle
Posts: 2,668
You will need a paternity test. I doubt it's yours. I don't see how it could be. I was almost 7 weeks pregnant before I knew... And not due to symptoms.. I was just waiting on a period that never came.
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October 26th, 2013, 12:14 AM
Spyctre's Avatar Arwen
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freaking Louisiana
Posts: 9,231
Lurking. I researched so much about timing when I was trying to get pregnant, and what I read was that the absolute earliest that an egg could implant, could be developed enough to implant, was five days after ovulation. So in theory I guess they could get a positive test that early, but in my years of research, the eariest I have seen is six days after.

You can get pregnancy "signs" the day of ovulation and every day after. Hormones do weird things. I have felt pregnant and not been. The earliest morning sickness kicked in for me was eight days after ovulation, but I have hyperemesis gravidarum. It's hereditary, and you get very very sick during pregnancy.

So I think it is highly improbable you are the father. I won't say impossible because you had sex, she may have had rampant hormones after ovulation, and five days past ovulation is the earliest you can implant. As for hcg levels being too low, it may be multiples. UNLIKELY she has all of that going on, but not impossible. I hope things turn out well for you both.
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