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Unplanned 3rd pregnancy

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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July 16th, 2014, 10:00 AM
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1
Hello all, I'm hoping to get some advice. I'm a married mom of two amazing little boys, ages 6 and 3. I just found out that I'm pregnant again. I'm so devastated and scared. More so because this happened to me last October. It was unplanned and a huge surprise. My husband didn't want it and I was on the fence. I didnt want to force this baby on him so I had an abortion. Please don't judge. I was a wreck for a long time. I couldn't believe what I have done. I told him that if he didn't want more kids he needed to get "fixed" bc I couldn't bear to go through that again.
Eventually I started feeling better and moving on with my life. But there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about it.
Well he never got fixed and here I am pregnant again. I'm so mad and heartbroken. Ever since I found out I've had panic attacks, can't eat, can't sleep.
We haven't really talked about what we are going to do. Part of me wants this baby but I'm so scared. How am I going to juggle three. I have a amazing relationship with my boys and afraid to take anything away from them.
Then I have this sickening feeling of getting another abortion. Sure I will be a wreck again and have feelings of regret but i eventually moved on.
I don't know what to do. I feel so alone and can't talk to anyone about this. Don't have the best relationship with my mom. She would think I'm crazy for having another baby.
Looking for some advice.
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July 17th, 2014, 12:10 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 9,310
Only you can decide what's best for you. However, whatever you decide, you need to take control of birth control so that this doesn't happen again.

My 2 miracles: Lucinda & Noah
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July 19th, 2014, 03:27 PM
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 8
I can hear the pain and anguish in your words. I'm so sorry that you are struggling right now. Have you thought about your other option: open adoption. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for over 5 years and have not been able to get pregnant. We want nothing more to become parents. I'm only sharing this so that you know that there are other options. There are alternatives to abortion that would be a blessing to another couple who can't have a child of their own. It's just something to think about.
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July 20th, 2014, 06:23 AM
lemieuxcrew's Avatar September DDC Rocks
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 1,468
Ouf. Poor you. I agree with the other posters 1) if you use abortion for bc you will just spiral down and end up miserable....and 2) adoption could be a really great option with lots of homes wanting babies.

I didnt want 3. But I am having my third in 7 weeks. My other two will adapt. They are very excited actually!!! Even more so than me.

Also, if your husband didnt want babies, had one scare, then didnt go in and take control, he is - by default - on board! And he will come along.....same thing with us. We didnt get it taken care of like we talked about and intended to. Now, we are taking the responsibility of our choice (or lack of).

PS- I am prochoice. When it is seemingly impossible. But it sounds like you have a situation you can probably make work. Good luck. Warrior wishes.
Terra - proud mama, lucky wife, and a happy treehugger!
DS - Chase (June 2005), DD - RoseLynn (June 2012), DH - Frederic (married October 2010) Ophelia due September 2014, born 36.5 weeks on 8/17 at 5 lbs 10 oz

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