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Unplanned Baby #3 feeling lost

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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October 3rd, 2018, 04:36 AM
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 1
Hello. I just found out a week ago I am pregnant with baby number 3. My initial reaction was ball my eyes out which I feel absolutely terrible about. Hubby and I are struggling right now financially, barely making it paycheck to paycheck. I was JUST about to drop my health insurance the day I found out to save us some money. This is just the worst timing ever. We can hardly afford groceries and dog food for our dogs. I'm still in debt from having my youngest son a year ago I still owe 5,000 to the hospital. I was paying $25 a month, but they sent me to collections because they wanted more than that a month, but thats all I could afford. My work is very taxing on my body and I already work as many hours a week as I can. My husband also, goes in early mutliple times a week and gets OT, but we still seem to be barely making it.

My out of pocket on my insurance is insane. Having the baby will cost me 7000 minimum. That is if the hospital even allows me to deliver there, i do still owe them from my second son.

I am just very lost right now and do not know what to do. How does everyone else make it work? I make too much to stay home with the kids, but not enough to pay all the bills? I am even attempting to take on a second night / weekend job, but then I'll be missing time with my.kids for very little money.

I did not even want a third baby, but I do not think I can bring myself to terminate the pregnancy.

I am very sorry if this offends anyone or is too negative. I am just in a very dark place right now and have no one to talk too.
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October 7th, 2018, 07:12 PM
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 1
I’m so sorry you are going through this! I recently found out I am pregnant and pretty much all I can do is cry. I’m not in the same situation as you, but I felt like we were finally getting on track financially and just with life in general, and now this. I feel like the worst person in the world because I have been hoping for a miscarriage (I couldn’t terminate either). I just don’t know how I’m supposed to be a good mom to a child I resent so much already.
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January 6th, 2019, 02:55 PM
jenna83's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Bradenton, FL
Posts: 582
Oh how I can relate to both of you... I’m 35, and my husband is 41. We have an 8yr old girl- we were “one and done”. I was 9 days from shipping out to bootcamp for the Navy, I’ve been training for 4mths and signed my contract and swore in taking oath. I had going away parties, bags were packed and I had said goodbye to everyone I knew...

We are struggling financially as well. We’ve been in this house we built (first time homeowners) for a year- 3 bedroom, intended for office/guest room. Our credit cards are in debt consolidation.

We’ve encountered people saying I did this on purpose to get out of the navy, that we should consider “other options”, and that we must be insane.

Unplanned does not mean unloved or unwanted. We had our moments of exploring all options- but that was more being caught off guard and flooded with emotions and shock, feeling lost, and taking such a hard left from where WE THOUGHT our lives were headed.

We have to see this as divine intervention. A blessing. For reasons that we don’t understand and may reveal to us later in life... that’s the attitude we’ve had to take or otherwise we’d get very depressed and lost in the worry and “what if’s”.

Sorry so long, but I felt compelled to respond and offer my story and that you’re not alone or a bad person- you’re human. It takes courage to share these thoughts and feelings, people can be hurtful with their judgements. Best of luck, congratulations and here if you need to talk 🥰😊💕
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