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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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October 8th, 2006, 09:47 AM
mom2be12007's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Louisville, KY
Posts: 1,865
Hello, my name is Melissa and I am 21, pregnant with my first...
I have been debating for quite a while whether or not to post here, I have been lurking, for about 2 months now, and felt as if I was imposing...but heres my story...

Im sorry if this is telling too much about myself...I have had a few miscarriages in the past, actually 1 last september and 1 last november. Now those were planned, by me not my BF, he wanted a baby, and I REALLY wanted a baby... We lost both of those and decided it wasnt our time... we began to straighten our lives up athe best we could, him stopping the control and me stoping the alcohol and drugs..I quit in Feb of this year, finally, after all the stress from our losses, for good, havent touched or thought about it since then..it wasnt heavy drugs, marijuana, but on a daily basis... he was finally geting over his abusive behaviors and seeking couseling and I was starting on meds to control my newly discovered mental disorder, bipolar and anxiety...Things were slowly getting better...

On May 5th I went to the emergency room because I was getting sick non stop and had no energy like I was slowly breaking down...Well,a fter sitting there for 6 hours, they finally come in and tell me they can give me something for the naseau but thats it, bc I was pregnant...Of course I had driven myself to the ER, BF was at home sleeping and didnt want to get up, lazy AND selfish...
So, I sat there and cried in the parking lot...for longer than I can remember...I know my mom called and my BF called and I just sat there crying..I couldnt be pregnant...I thought about everything I could, Drinking bleach or getting drunk or getting so high I just forgot...
eventually I drove home and cried to my boyfriend...he was still asleep and knew the exact second he woke up what was gong on, he just layed there and held me...I could nt stop crying...

I still do not want this pregnany..I mean I want it, I am happy, but I sure as heck dont NEED it right now...We cant even afford to feed ourselves, let alone a baby...I am 26 weeks and we only have 3 bibs and socks for lil Hailey..

Im sorry if I wrote a book for you ladies, I hope I feel welcomed, which Im sure I will, but most importantly, I hope to get good resources and advice from you ladies on how to make my lil girl feel welcomed and not as if she was a "mistake" I mean she was at the time, but I dont want her to feel like we dont want her!!

Here are some pics of me...

And of our lil Hailey at 12 weeks...

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October 9th, 2006, 04:52 PM
LondonAndAthensMommy's Avatar Chillin' in Mommywood ;)
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Kelowna, BC
Posts: 1,591
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welcome to the board.... I hope you feel comfortable here and I understand the stress you have, this is my first baby as well and it was unplanned... definetly unplanned and unexpected and it wasn't something I really wanted either! I'm sure when the babies come there will be no shortage of love though!

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October 9th, 2006, 06:46 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Winnipeg
Posts: 13,011
Welcome to the board, and congrats on your pregnancy. I know it doesnt' really seem like it now, but one day you'll be really happy about this.
It's not gonna be easy, and some days you'll want to break down, but you'll have a beautiful baby to remind you not to break down and be strong for her.
Things will get better. Also you must keep in mind the hormones that are exploding inside you right now! lol All pregnant women have them! And they can cause women to feel very depressed, scared, uneasy, doubtful...So maybe after having Hailey, and once the hormones are back to a normal level, you might find that all these feelings are gone and you're happy again!
Either way, we're here for you, to listen to you and pick you up when you're down. Just know you're not alone in this.
Hope to see you around more!
Visit my blog here.
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October 9th, 2006, 10:04 PM
Star's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,722
Welcome Melissa!! My boyfriend and I definately did not plan our baby, and we definately ARE NOT stable enough to support her, but there is always a way!! There are programs that you can apply for assistance, I'm sure you know this, but I'm reminding you!! Use them!

Also, everyone here is super nice so if you need any support with anything, don't be shy!!

Thanks to mtdk454 for the beautiful siggie!!

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October 10th, 2006, 09:42 AM
mom2be12007's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Louisville, KY
Posts: 1,865

I am sooo emotional right now!!!
My biggest emotions are over the financial issues we are having...how do you find all the resources we can use? I am in use of a few as of right now, Food Stamps, Medicaid, and WIC, but that helps only tos ome extent...any ideas on how to find what is available?

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October 12th, 2006, 02:03 AM
momma2layla's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Richmond, Michigan
Posts: 395
<span style="font-family:Verdana"> I HOPE YOU FEEL WELCOMED! EVERYONE HERE IS GREAT!</span>

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October 12th, 2006, 07:59 AM
Karine119's Avatar SAHM of 3 Drama Queens!
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Boston, Ma
Posts: 4,816
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Hi Melissa!!! Another familiar face.... If you need anything at all let me know. I hear you with the money issues. I make too little to live alone, but too much to get any help including health insurance. Mine is free, but a family plan is almost $400 every two weeks. If you just ever want someone to talk to send me a message. I might not get it until I get home from work, but I will answer it the best I can. Believe me I am always horrible with finding the right words, but I am always good at listening.

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October 12th, 2006, 08:57 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: San Angelo, Texas
Posts: 3,274
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Hi Melissa welcome to our board and thank you for sharing you story!! My name is Amanda, I'm 20 years old, and I just gave birth to my daughter on October 7th. I know how hard of a time this must be for you right now and I just want to let you know that I feel you will get through it. My DF and I were similar to you when we found out we were pregnant. We could barely support ourselves, had no real experience with babies, liked to party alot, etc. We still struggle financially, but everything else is just learned with time. I think that your daughter will be very loved and know she's loved because you've already taken interest in her and your pregnancy just by coming to JM. I really hope you stick around and I can't wait to hear more about your pregnancy!!
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