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HELP.. Who do you think is the daddy?


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
October 24th, 2006, 11:54 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 2
So here is my story...

I just found out that I am pregnant, and I am like 99% sure on who the dad is but I would like your imput please.

On Aug 18 - I messed around with this guy. We didn't have sex, but he tried to stick it in, and I told him NO, cause we didn't have a condom. We never physically had sex, but we did lots of messing around, and laying in his "stuff"

Aug 20 - had sex with this guy that I have been seeing for 2 years.. We have never used any kind of protection, and I haven't been on Birth control in a good 2 1/2 years. I also bleed pretty bad while we had sex.. Don't know if that was a sign or what?

Aug 23 - Messed around with a friend of mine, and I remember him asking me to have sex, but he didn't have a condom, so we just messed around, with our pants off though. (althought I really can't remember, but I'm like 99.9% sure we didn't have sex) I asked him a few weeks ago before he knew I was pregnant if we "did" anything, and he was like no..

Sept. 4th. Found out I am pregnant..

Sept 18. They tell me that I should have concieved on Aug 23.

My EDD is 5/16/07

My question is... I know 100% that I had sex on Aug 20, and even though they are telling me that I could have concieved on Aug 23.. is it possible that his sperm just stayed in me for 3 days???
Also, That is the same time I was ovulating.. I usually ovulate on a Wednesday, and sure enough..

Please help me.. I'm like 99.9% that its guy number 2.. cause I don't think anyone can get pregnant from just messing around.. BUT if he came and then I sat in it.. I'm not real sure.
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  #2  
October 24th, 2006, 12:33 PM
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Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 5,120
Date of conception is not an exact science. It is most accurate if based on an early trans-vaginal ultrasound, but even then it can be off by a few days. And if it is based on your cycle it can be off for up to a week or two...depending on the regularity of your cycle, it's length, etc. And sperm can stay alive for up to a week I believe. Did they give you an ultrasound or are they basing the conception date on your period? And do you track your cycles?

It is most likely that you conceived when you had sex, so it's probobly the guy from the 20th. But it is entirely possible that you concieved with the other two. There is sperm in precum and if you came into contact with it than you could definately get pregnant. Especially if he was playing "just the tip" if you know what I mean (sorry...Wedding Crashers reference! gotta love Vince Vaughn!) And it is also possible to get pregnant if you sat in it. And the bleeding could have been implantation bleeding (although that is generally not heavy so I don't know.)

So I hate to say it...but it could be any of the three. I would agree it's most likely guy number two though.

Have you talked to any of the guys yet? And have you decided what you are going to do?
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  #3  
October 24th, 2006, 12:42 PM
collegegirl's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: NC
Posts: 689
Quote:
Date of conception is not an exact science. It is most accurate if based on an early trans-vaginal ultrasound, but even then it can be off by a few days. And if it is based on your cycle it can be off for up to a week or two[/b]
Exactly! I wouldn't put too much stock in the estimated date. There is really no way know 100% what the exact date of conception was, too much room for error!

Just an FYI....sperm die within 5 seconds of exposure to oxygen, so unless you "sat in his stuff" as soon as it came out, I'd say the chances there are slim to none.

I'd suggest talking to your doctor about DNA testing. It's really the only way to know for sure. But don't forget about the guys, they have a right to know....plus, you can't get a DNA test without them. Keep us updated and don't hesitate to ask questions! There are some really great ladies here!
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  #4  
October 24th, 2006, 01:36 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 2
I have had an ultrasound, and according to the u/s the date of conception was aug 23.When they did it, and measured the baby, thats the date it gave them. As in 6 weeks 2 days, or whatever it said, meaning it was 8/23.
I also had sex with the second guy on 8/27 and bleed that time also..

I don't speak to the other guys except for guy #2..

I know there is room for error, but I"m just freaking out..

To be honest, I had forgotten all about guy #3, up until I got to thinking when the last time we messed around was, and thought of that a few weeks ago..

I do keep up with my period, but the last few months I have been really messed. I just knew that its coming soon, and the only reason I took a test was because I thought that I should be starting soon, but it just seemed like I wasn't..so I took it, and of course it was positive..

my thing is, why now??? I mean, With guy # 2.. We never used protection and very rarely pulled out, and I haven't been on BC in over 2 years..
But I do know that I was ovulating on 8/23.. but does that really make a big difference??
#2 and I would have sex all the time when I was ovulating.. and never gotten pregnant..

If it was based on my cycle it would put me up a good 2 weeks.. meaning somewhere around the first week of May..
thats why they did a vag. u/s was cause I wasn't really positive when I had my last period.. from being so messed up, cause I did spot for only a couple of days, but it wasn't like a real period..
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  #5  
October 24th, 2006, 02:19 PM
baby1577's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 6,306
I am just a lurker, but thought you might like my input.

When i got pregnant, the U/S was off by 3 days. I know the exact day I got pregnant. but when i went for a transvaginal u/s at 7 weeks, they claimed i concieved 3 days after that. the reason behind that, is that you normally don't become PREGNANT the day you have sex. the spermies have to swim, find the egg (which sometimes isn't released yet) and then work their way in. sometimes the whole process takes 2 or 3 days. SO, i had sex on monday, but by the time all that jazz happened, and the baby IMPLANTED, it was thursday.

i hope that isn't more confusing than helpful. lol. my educated guess, is that it is guy #2's baby.

congrats!
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  #6  
October 31st, 2006, 10:09 AM
ro8821's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Huntsville, AL
Posts: 2,781
Hey there. I would say #2.. cause EDD are just that.. The sprem might not have gotten to the egg for a few days.. but thats just my guess
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  #7  
October 31st, 2006, 02:27 PM
Athey's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I agree with the previous 2 - probably guy #2. Sperm live for 5 days in there. If you ovulate 4 days after having sex, you can get preggo then.
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  #8  
November 2nd, 2006, 12:17 AM
LondonAndAthensMommy's Avatar Chillin' in Mommywood ;)
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It can live in you for up to 72 hours.


Quote:
I agree with the previous 2 - probably guy #2. Sperm live for 5 days in there. If you ovulate 4 days after having sex, you can get preggo then.[/b]

I would assume its the guy you had sex with's baby....... i highly doubt its some kind of virgin mary stuff lol..
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  #9  
November 2nd, 2006, 01:23 PM
Mom4Life_11's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,466
Quote:
It can live in you for up to 72 hours.


Quote:
I agree with the previous 2 - probably guy #2. Sperm live for 5 days in there. If you ovulate 4 days after having sex, you can get preggo then.[/b]

I would assume its the guy you had sex with's baby....... i highly doubt its some kind of virgin mary stuff lol..
[/b]
Ya, that's what I am thinking. Good Luck.
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