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7 weeks pregnant- not excited anymore. freakin out!


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
November 9th, 2006, 10:44 AM
kimberley's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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hello. I am new to this place. Im 21. I found out i was pregnant about a month ago i guess. my initial reaction was crying and what not, but i decided to keep it, because I always told myself that if i ever got pregnant I wouldnt get an abortion-i think its kind of unnatural. The father is my ex boyfriend whom i no longer love. I think this is why this is so hard. I am not excited abotu the pregnancy like i should be. Im afraid that I wont love my baby. and I cant AT ALL picture myself with a baby. Im scared that I'll jsut feel like im babysitting for the rest of my life.
Has anyone else felt liek this?
I also dont feel like theres someone inside of me. Like i dont feel "that miracle gift given from god" feeling.
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  #2  
November 9th, 2006, 11:13 AM
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Hi Kimberly! What you are feeling is natural hun. Being pregnant isn't like what you see on TV or movies-it's not always rainbows and sunshine lol! It is very common to have the emotions you are experiencing in an unplanned pregnancy, especially this early on. Speaking for myself, I didn't feel any real love for my daughter untill I was probobly 13 weeks along-that's when I got my first real ulrasound and got to see her moving around in there, found out that I was having a girl...all that good stuff. Then it started feeling real to me. It's especially hard when you have negative emotions attached to the father-I know for a long time I thought I could never love this baby because I hated her father so much, he made me sick, and I thought that every time I looked at her I would see his face and resent her for being part of him. And that's not the case at all now...I don't even think of her as "belonging" to him anymore. So all I can tell you is it is a process, but over time you will come to love this child as your own and those feelings will be the last thing on your mind. Congratulations on your pregnancy though! When are you due?
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  #3  
November 9th, 2006, 11:45 AM
kimberley's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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ahh i dont know if im doing this right. ive never joined a forum before. i guess well find out.

Im due June 30. I still live with my parents, so I'm feeling pretty pathetic right about now. They are super supportive though. Theyre actually excited. more than i am..

Thanks for your reply blondie. Everytime i hear that what im feeling is somewhat normal it makes me feel a bit better.
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  #4  
November 9th, 2006, 12:11 PM
LondonAndAthensMommy's Avatar Chillin' in Mommywood ;)
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I know how you feel, I am not always super excited but I think it will change when I meet the baby... i think its ok to not be excited during the pregnancy as long as after you are better!
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  #5  
November 9th, 2006, 02:16 PM
ro8821's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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OH Kimberly.. I cried every day for weeks when I found out I was pregnant.. Its so hard to love something/ or should I say someone thats not here.. I have finally came to terms that my baby will be loved.. But I am still scared that I will have this grudge againest him (the baby) for changing my life. I was so happy with the way it was.. I still cry sometimes thinking about being a mom.. Do I really want to be a mom?? NO.. not really, but I'm dealing with it.. Do I really want to have to take care of someone else and not just myself.. NO..

But in the end, I know that once he is born, I will forever love him, and he will be my little man. And I know I wouldn't have it any other way.. I know that he will be loved by many, an ME being one of them..
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  #6  
November 9th, 2006, 07:04 PM
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Girl~so normal! When I was pg with my DD I made my ex leave, the sight, thought, sound of him made me sick. I hated him. I thought, how in the world am I going to raise this child. Well, she is the light of my life, she is 14 now and from the moment I saw her I fell in total love. She even looked alot like him until she hit the toddler years. It is amazing. Do not concern yourself with these feelings you are having right now AT ALL! Promise, it will be great!
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  #7  
November 10th, 2006, 12:28 AM
Star's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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what your feeling is natural! I still can't picture myself with a baby and here I am with a 2 month old girl.

Yes it's a lot of work, but it's so rewarding.... my current favorite is when I can make her break out into a huge smile. There's nothing like a mouthful of gums to make you laugh!
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  #8  
November 10th, 2006, 09:27 AM
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I know it's hard to fathom at this exact moment, but it will get better! I honestly couldn't see myself being a mom until I was holding my daughter in my arms. I cried even during the last month of my pregnancy because I was so worried about how much my life was going to change and I thought I wouldn't be able to handle that. Being only 20 it made me depressed to see all the college kids my age at the store or at the mall with not a care in the world other then grades and when the next party is. It made me envious that I had to grow up faster and take on so much more responsibility. But now that my daughter's here I wouldn't trade places with those kids for anything. Like Star said, it's very rewarding, especially to know that that little person is a part of you.
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  #9  
November 10th, 2006, 10:42 AM
kimberley's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks guys! ITs good to know im not a psycho or something. Every morning when i wake up, for a second i forget that im pregnant, then a second later my heart drops and i get the worst butterflies in my tummy. its hard to get outta bed.(unless i have to jump up and run to spew!) but reading stuff like this is very encouraging. thanks again
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  #10  
November 10th, 2006, 10:45 AM
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Kimberley,
I'm glad that you chose to stick around and find encouragement in our board. What you're feeling is completely normal for any unplanned (and even some planned) pregnancy. At the beginning of my pregnancy I too would forget sometimes that I was pregnant and then when I remembered it felt like my heart sank. So many thoughts can go through your head all the way from the beginning well into your 9th month. There were days when I was 6 or 7 months pregnant and I felt like I just wanted to give my daughter up for adoption because I thought I wouldn't be able to handle it (I feel guilty now for having these feelings). Just hang in there girl and no that we're all here for you!!!!
Amanda
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  #11  
November 10th, 2006, 12:45 PM
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Like everyone here said, what you are feeling is very normal. When i first found out I was pregnant I kept forgetting until I had my first ultrasound...and even then it is hard to deal with the fact that you have someone growing inside of you...and you dont realize it until you feel him/her move. You're still very early on in your pregnancy and you may still be in shock..it is okay to feel what you are feeling
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  #12  
November 10th, 2006, 01:02 PM
Karine119's Avatar SAHM of 3 Drama Queens!
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Kimberly even to this day I still wake up and think I'm not pregnant it was all a dream. Then I look down and realize I still have this huge belly and a kicking little girl. It's always funny, the one time I didn't want to be pregnant I was. I was so split on how to feel, excited because it meant I actually could get pregnant, but scared at the same time because I have no clue what kind of mom I will be. I have to say you have a big plus with your parents being supportive, I believe if my mom wasn't so supportive of my pregnancy and being a single mom I don't know how I would have made it. Don't feel pathetic for still living at home, believe me I think it might be a blessing in disguise. The whole time my sister was pregnant (she was 15 and delivered at 16) all she wanted to do was move out and be on her own.... then when she had my nephew she was so happy to be living at home and to have some help. Eventually she moved out on her own and now she has had her own place for about 3 years, works, goes to school and my nephew is 6 and just started 1st grade this fall. I say stay at home, if your parents support you take all the help you can until you feel it is time for you to leave. It will also give your parents time to bond with their new grandchild. Best of luck and believe me the feelings of centainty and uncertainty comes and goes.
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  #13  
November 13th, 2006, 11:00 PM
Telucero's Avatar Veteran
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Like the rest, it's all normal. To be honest, I was absolutely devastated when I found out I was having a baby. Honestly, when I was told I was pregnant I felt like I had been told that I had a tumor. But then I felt him kick for the first time, I realized that I was actually creating a new life. Don't worry. It gets better, just wait for the ultrasounds, its amazing! Once they told me I had to start pushing, I was like, "hey, wait, I'm not ready yet!" But, now I can't imagine my life without him. He's beautiful.

Dont worry if the feeling doesn't fully go away. Although I was excited, I still had some feelings of anxiety till even after he was born. But then you get into the routine, figure things and realize "I'm a mother, I can do this! I'm a good mother! It's going to be okay!!!"

Stay calm and just realize life is a blessing, even if it is scary!
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  #14  
November 14th, 2006, 06:20 PM
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Hi there, I know how you are feeling completely. I am going into my 7th month and still have those feelings. Just filled with so many different mixed emotions. One day I'm happy and everything seems to be going alright, then next, just depressed about everything. I'm also not sure of my feelings with the father of my child, since it happened so fast and we were just starting to date, but friends for a couple years. I get so sad thinking our friendship is over if we don't work out as a couple, and sometimes wish I had those feelings for him, but even that's confusing anymore. So you're definitely not alone. Wish I also knew some easier way to deal with it all, and I hope as well to become a good mom even though it's hard to picture me being one at times. Hang in there though, and keep faith :-).
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  #15  
November 16th, 2006, 08:53 PM
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My best friend is prego, she is about 6 months.. and she has felt the same feelings, although she is married and very happy, the money situation and the pregnancy in general is something that she seems to have become less and less excited about. I'm no professional but I think its probably normal!
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  #16  
November 23rd, 2006, 02:35 AM
yammie
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You poor girl.. having to go through all of this.. mine was unexpected too.. and I was very much.. well still AM in love with the father of this baby.. we moved out together we had an aamzing summer.. i lost my job for medical reasons and had to move back home.. when I got home i found out I was pregnant.. my boyfriend WAS SO MAD so angry id even been accused of doing it to save our relationship..i had no idea.. i got pregnant during an irregular period..

but things that comfort me in this are.. my family has been great and more excited then i am
my bhoyfriend is coming around to support me
a month before i concieved a friend who passed away in a dream told me i was going to get pregnant..
and ive always wanted to be a mother
you may not love them right now
but when you meet them you'll be glad they are here and you chose not to abort
even if you still choose to abort thats your choice unatural or not its your choice
if you feel like mentally you cant handle this baby then its better for them you let them go or give them up for adoption

but i wish you the best of luck in whatever you choose
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  #17  
November 23rd, 2006, 05:08 AM
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My pregnancy was planned and I was happy (because I'm 35 I thought maybe it wouldn't happen or something was wrong with me). BUT-it just wasn't real until I saw the ultrasound at 18 weeks because I couldn't feel those kicks and punches everyone talks about hard enough for me to be sure or know it really was a baby inside me. But once I saw the ultrasound and saw him moving and sucking his thumb it was like OMG this is a tiny little human in me and he is alive and kicking and sucking on his fingers and has bones and feet and hip bones and right there I felt a lot more "attached". Even at 31 weeks it is hard to believe he will be coming out and will actually be here in front of us sleeping,pooping etc.... I washed all the clothes,blankets etc.. I got from my baby shower and it helped me come to the realization that this will be over soon and he'll be here. The side effects of pregnancy,the emotions and the reality of a new baby is overwhelming and I think most people feel like that even if they don't say it. I know I'm scared like can I really do this? But I know I have to -I have to make sure my son is taken care of.
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  #18  
November 23rd, 2006, 11:48 PM
Cptnsweet's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Like everyone else, it is totally normal. and i know exactly how you feel. I myself got pregnant at 15, it was only a couple of months after my grandmother died. me and my bf had been together for almost a yr and had talked kids and marriage down the road. but whne i found out i was scared to death. we told my mom and step dad 1st and then his mom came over to my house, and freaked out. she forbid him from seeing me. that was real hard on me, i didnt eat sleep go to school or anything. he even rode the city bus to come see me one time. we had decided it was best for me to have an abortion, so we go down there and i'm 12 weeks along, and if i'm going to do it i have to do it that wednesday wihich was 2 days away so we said ok i showed up wednesday, and waited and waited they called my name along with 4 other girls we sat in this little room which looked like a closet, all of those gilrs were in there 20's and i kept listening to their stories and i never said anything, those girls came and went and other came and went. i started to cry and said i couldnt do it, i walked out and i had been back ther so long my mom thought it was over. we left there and i went to see her OBGYN the next day. in december they realized the baby wasn't growing and they werent sure why, so they wanted to put me in the hospital on bed rest. well by this time me and my daughters father were able to see each other and his mom was happy i had decided to keep her. december 18th 1997 i was put in the hospital on bed rest, i was there till january 27. she was born january 24 1998 at 9:30 am 2 1/2 months early and only weighing 1 pound 7 ounces and was 12 1/4 inches long. she was in the hospital till april 14th and when she came home she weighed 4 1/2 pounds. shenever had any medical problems. she was so small because the umbilical cord grew out of the wrong part of the placenta and she couldnt get enough nutrients. she is now almost 9 yrs old adn while she is still tiny in weight only 35 pounds she is wonderful, she does have ADHD, but that is being managed with medication. meand her dad broke up not long after she came home from the hospital. he was in and out of her life till 3 yrs ago, and then i lost track of him, until a couple of months ago, and he has been seeign her everyother weekend. he has 2 other lil boys with his current GF who is in jail, and i have married in 04 and have a llil boy brian who was 4 in june. for the longest time i hated her dad, but i realized life is too short to be mad at someone for things that probably wouldnt have worked out anyways. we were too young and didnt know what we wanted. he wants me back and says he will wait for me forever, but i love my husband deeply and honestly can say i can see myself with him forever, i will always love james because we have katie together, but only as a good friend. there were times i wish i had had the abortion and that i had given her up for adoption, but then i think that everything happens for a reason, and if i was supposed to of had the abortion i would have done it. i'm for abortion, but it wasnt for me at that time in my life. i really think everything will work itself out, and only yolu know whats best for you, wether it be having the baby, giving it up, having an abortion. all of those thing are life altering decisions, and maybe you just need to sit down and think things through. dont let anyone persuade you to make one decision or the other. i'm not saying it wasnt hard, because it was katie cried for no reason and cried constantly. i would just sit and cry holding her trying to figure out what was wrong. but i'm so glad i had my mom and step dads and my aunts help with her. without them i couldnt have done it. but anytime you need to talk my regular email is [email protected] i'll be glad to tal kto you or just sit and listen to whatever. i hope you get to feeling better and just know that you have people here who will help in any way we can.
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