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So, nobody seems to be excited...


Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
January 7th, 2007, 02:05 PM
ahillo5
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I just found out that I am pregnant and my husband and I have started telling people. We're really excited even though it was an unexpected pregnancy, and only a handful of people have seemed excited with us. We got married a week ago, but i'm 6 weeks pregnant. I havn't told my parents because I"m afraid they're going to give me the same reaction that everybody else has. Before I got married [and found out I was pregnant] my family kept telling me to not get pregnant until after we got of school, etc. I'm afraid to tell my family for htat reason, also that we've only been married for a week. We went to dinner with my husbands family yesterday and told them and his 12 year old neice said,

"You guys are pregnant already?? you've only been married a week!!"

that's the typical reaction I've been getting. I was excited at first and now I'm confused. I don't want to bring this baby into a world where it's not welcomed by its family. My husbands moms reaction was something like 'i wish you two would get your priorities straight, etc'.

what am I supposed to think about this pregnancy? I don't feel like I'm having any support from anybody...
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  #2  
January 7th, 2007, 09:41 PM
lvfunandfit's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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If you and your husband are happy that's all that matters. I know you want your family to be happy and they will be. I think they may just worry that you guys aren't going to finish school. Sometimes life has twists and turns before we get back on the path we were on and those twists and turns can be full of wonderful surprises.

So, enjoy this time with your husband!!! Not everything worth having needs to be planned.

Your family will come around!

Congratulations on your marriage and your pregnancy!
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  #3  
January 7th, 2007, 09:45 PM
Star's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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LeighAnn's probably right... I'm not married and I was terrified to tell my mom, but she actually took it way better than I thought. My family wanted me to get married before the baby was born but I made it very clear I wasn't going to. Now that Briana is here, nobody pushes the marriage thing anymore, they're too busy oogling over her!!
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  #4  
January 7th, 2007, 11:47 PM
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ewww! i hate negative nancies! don't sweat it girl - if you and dh are happy then that is what matters, you two and your healthy growing baby maybe everyone else is in shock, especially your mil...that was kind of a $&*#$ thing to say...but as I said before - we don't care about her anyway LOL Easier said than done, I know
Good luck sweetie - and for what it is worth, I am excited
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  #5  
January 8th, 2007, 07:06 AM
**Jenn**'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Do not give those negative people a second thought! We weren't married when I got pregnant with our son (we were in the middle of an almost 2 year engagement and fully into the wedding planning mode). We had a lot of negative comments made, pushing to drop the "wedding nonsense" and go to a justice of the peace and just do it already. While just about everyone came around pretty quickly, there are a few select family members who I had to sever the relationship with. They will get excited, it's probably just a shock right now. The comments are definitely not necessary so don't let them rain on your parade. Now we're pregnant again, another unplanned one, and we were only married 6 months when it happened. Our financial situation is not good but we have help and we're getting back on our feet. Once again, we were met with negativity but you know what? Screw everyone else! We're happy! It may not be the optimal time but its a baby and all babies are blessings! If you and your husband are happy then be happy! Don't let others get you down! Just don't talk to them about the baby if they can't share in your excitement. I remember on my baby shower invitations my Mom (with the suggestion from my Dad) purposely put on them "Come share in OUR joy." They said if they couldn't share in our joy over the new addition then they didn't want them there!
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  #6  
January 8th, 2007, 09:48 AM
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I agree that as long as you and your husband are happy that's really all that matters! Life is going to be full of surprises, and most of the time you don't get to choose when they will come. I'm sure they are concerned or worried that you and your DH won't finish school, but honestly after having my daughter I'm MORE determined to finish school. I'm really sorry that people are being so rude and unsupportive but I'm sure a lot of it just may be shock right now. DH and I were only engaged for 3 months before we found out I was pregnant. My MIL tried to FORCE us to get married as soon as we found out because she was ashamed that her son was having a child out of wedlock. I tried explaining to her numerous times that if we got married my parent's insurance would drop me (it covered my pregnancy 100%). So finally she shut up about it. Sometimes, people like that you just have to ignore and do what you think is best. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you stick around!!
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  #7  
January 8th, 2007, 10:43 AM
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Let them ppl say and think what you want, just as long as you and your DH are happy, thats all that matters! They'll come around!
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  #8  
January 8th, 2007, 11:18 AM
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Same thing happened to me.

When the news first broke most people were kind of tight-lipped but now it seems like all anyone can ask me about is the baby and my gf's pregnancy.

Give it some time.

I've really learned through this experience that time can heal (almost) all wounds.
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  #9  
January 8th, 2007, 12:47 PM
first_time_mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I know exactly what you mean. We've only started telling people this week and all we're getting is negativity, that we're too young. I did let it upset me for a while, but my boyfriend talked me round, We are the people the baby needs most in the world. as long as we love it then it doesnt need anyone else.

hope things get better for you. Congratulations on your pregnancy and the very best of luck with parenthood and marriage.
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  #10  
January 12th, 2007, 11:49 PM
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Try not to let them bring you down. I remember during my pregnancy, my MIL wouldn't even acknowledge it, let alone be happy about it! It was the end of the fricken world! But now, you'd never know it! She's all into this gramma thing! lol
I also recall making a huge scene in my family doctor's office, bursting into tears and all this because my gyno that I had been seeing wasn't warm with me and made the pregnancy feel more like a medical condition than anything...You'll find that ppl won't always react the way you want them to. It sucks!
I guess my only suggestion would be to say "hey listen! This wasn't exactly planned, but we're at least married, so the least YOU GUYS can do it show a bit of support here! We're happy about this, and we're not looking for you approval, we just wanted to let you know!" Then storm out of the room, slam the door and let them feel like crap for awhile! lol And you don't have to feel guilty because you're preggers and you're allowed to be moody! YAY!!!!
Congrats!
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