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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
January 29th, 2007, 06:33 AM
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So I found out I was PG a couple of weeks ago. BIG OOPS. I have a 9 month old. DH is in med school and I work. MIL takes care of DD every day. We moved in with my in-laws so it is easier for MIL to watch DD and so DH has an easier commute to school. We have been using condoms EVERY time since we had DD. This was a huge surprise and I am so upset. I mean, we wanted to wait until he was done with school. I know I could emotionally handle another baby, but that isn't enough. I couldn't possibly expect my MIL to watch 2 babies uner 2. I don't think she would do it anyway. I mean, there isn't really enough room in the house, but the babies could share. I can't afford daycare for 2 AND support 3 people. I just don't know what to do or what is best for my family. I don't even know if I should tell MIL and let her freak out with the hope that she may come around. This is just tooo much - AAHHHH!!
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  #2  
January 29th, 2007, 01:04 PM
first_time_mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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have you told DH? what does he think?
How far along are you?
When is DH finished school?

i think you should tell your MIL, she may be more supportive than you think and at least you'll know for definite that she would mind the baby or she wouldnt, which allows you to make an informed decision on what to do.

I think you need to do whats best for you, no matter what anyone thinks. Its you who has to carry the baby for 9 months, has to give birth to it and its you who the responsibility will fall to for the rest of its life.

Best of luck and please keep us updated!
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Robyn, wife to Steven, mom to Jake (7th Aug 2007)
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  #3  
January 29th, 2007, 01:11 PM
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W/ BF'ing I am due late Sept. early Oct. I did tell DH and he is just as confused/anxious/excited as I am. He isn't finished with school for 3 years, so this may be rough!!

I know I have to tell MIL, but I am just so nervous. We really cannot do it without her support and that kills me. So I am just so stuck/nervous/confused about all of this.
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  #4  
January 29th, 2007, 02:30 PM
first_time_mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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i'm so sorry to hear you're feeling like this. I know how hard it is having to depend on other people for support. I still live with my parents and its hard knowing that without them and my bf parents, we cant actually have this baby.

but dont forget, its another grandchild for her too, she may be thrilled and excited to have another one.

i dont mean to pry, but is abortion/adoption an option you guys are looking into?
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Robyn, wife to Steven, mom to Jake (7th Aug 2007)
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  #5  
January 30th, 2007, 05:56 AM
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I am definitely not considering adoption. I know I couldn't handle that b/c in a couple years when everything is set with us, I will be a wreck. That being said, I know it is probably selfish, but I guess termination may be in the back of my mind. I don't know how well I would handle that either, but I did leave it open. DH is a little more against it than I am. UGH.... I hate sex!!!
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  #6  
January 30th, 2007, 06:01 AM
first_time_mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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well if adoption isnt an option, how about fostering? i dont know how it works where you live, but where i do you can have the baby fostered and have visitation rights and then you can take it back when everything is ok again.

termination isnt a selfish thought. if you think that its the best option then do it. but you have to consider how it will effect your marriage too.
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Robyn, wife to Steven, mom to Jake (7th Aug 2007)
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  #7  
January 30th, 2007, 12:22 PM
debriot
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Well I feel for you girl! Me 7 my BF were using condoms every time & I got pregnant. Immediately we said Abortion... but once we thought about it, we couldn't do it & after the initial shock, things started to look up. Have you looked to see what kind of Aide your state offers? Maybe they have lower cost child care or even help you with the entire cost?
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  #8  
January 30th, 2007, 01:56 PM
first_time_mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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i had inititally planned an abortion too but the more me and my bf talked about it the more we fell in love with the baby.

i'm hoping our finances will have sorted themselves out by july, but if not our country has a really good social welfare that can help out for a few months. its no harm looking into what you're entitled to if you really dont want an abortion.
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Robyn, wife to Steven, mom to Jake (7th Aug 2007)
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  #9  
January 31st, 2007, 08:45 AM
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I make way too much money for aid. I live in a very expensive area, so everything is $$$$, but I make too much money for any help. I know we could MAYBE afford things, but we couldn't afford rent and daycare for 2 kids plus diapers and food. We did calculate that, so I am still on the fence. I'm waiting to talk to the doctor. I would love to have another baby, I just don't want to do it at the expense of DD. I also had a c-section. This ws my second abdominal surgery. DH and I want at least 4 kids. I don't know what my chances of uterine rupture are and if I would have to have another section. I know I couldn't have 4 sections due to the amount of scar tissue I have, so there is soooo much to talk about and I am just so overwhelmed.
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  #10  
January 31st, 2007, 11:45 AM
first_time_mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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you need to take things one thing at a time. its way to easy to get overwhelmed about things. theres always alot of stress over finances and how you'd cope with an unplanned baby, but things have a way of working out, so you just need to keep calm.

have you told your mother in law?
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Robyn, wife to Steven, mom to Jake (7th Aug 2007)
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  #11  
February 2nd, 2007, 10:53 PM
rose198172's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I know how you feel. We live with my parents, and they help out a lot. They were actually a lot more understanding than I thought they would be, which is great. They said we could stay here much longer than we originally planned (our plan was to pay off all our school bills and medical bills within 2 years or so). I know that sounds like so long, but it's actually not as bad as it sounds. You may be surprised who will be supportive.

Good luck in your decision!
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  #12  
February 5th, 2007, 11:41 AM
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look into your state for daycare assistance. I know that texas offers it and i have a few friends that are on it. they will pay of all or just about all of the daycare for both children. If you call you local heath and human service office and ask about day care assistance, they will give you the number and you can go from there.
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