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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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July 6th, 2005, 12:08 AM
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 46
Hello everyone, I'm new to the board and figured I would introduce myself. My name is Kimberly and I'm 18 years old...just graduated high school about a month ago and moved in with my boyfriend of nearly 2 years not long after. Only a few days ago I found out that I'm 5 weeks pregnant! You would think that I would be upset that I can't start college in the fall like I planned or that I can't "live it up" like most adults my age do but really...I'm so happy. I didn't plan this by any means and it would have been more convenient to have a child when I was more established in the world but I have a wonderful little goddaugher, nearly 2 years old whose mommy is only 17 and has been a friend of mine since long before her conception. I've been there from the first weeks of pregnancy to her birth and I've watched and help raise this little girl...I guess it just softened my heart to the idea of being a mother, and after helping my friend get through the first years of her baby's life I've always been confident that one day I would be a great mother. On that note...I'm so happy I'm going to be having this baby, and with a man that I truly do love. I do have so many questions though...so far I know what to do to nourish and protect my baby during pregnancy, but I'm not sure how to deal with some of the emotional issues. For one, I'm not sure how to call up my parents (who have always been supportive of me and I know will be now) and tell them they are going to have a little grandchild (their first). I dont fear that they'll think badly of me, I'm just nervous to see that "oh my god" look on their faces and to hear that condescending fatherly tone in saying "what are you going to do now?" My biggest concern is that my boyfriend and I have a house together and already have a hard time keeping up with rent, electricity, insurance, phone, etc....He's a plumber who is working his way up the professional ladder and I handle various part-time jobs...how are we going to take care of our baby? I want this little one and I'm so scared that Charlie and I won't be able to care for our baby on our own. Also...I've waited my whole life to get out of this little country town (we made plans to move to N.C. after I graduate community college) and now I'm terrified that I'll be stuck here (this isnt the kind of place I want to raise my child)...I'm just hoping someone can give me a little advice and support. If anyone offers...I'd be glad to receive it. On a better note, congrats to all of the soon-to-be and already mothers out there. I'm glad to join you all
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July 6th, 2005, 06:52 AM
TylerJ1029's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: at my desk
Posts: 27,881
Welcome to JM and congrats! I'm Jennifer (22). My unplanned son is now 20m old.

There really is no easy way to tell the parents. It sucks, I'm not going to lie. You just have to be up front and honest. Tell them sooner rather than later. Try to come up with a game plan. They will respect you for having a plan. Like how you are going to save your money, childcare, school, etc.

The money part is the hardest part. If you think your family is going to be supportive then you may get alot of the supplies (crib, stroller, car seat) at your baby shower. Breastfeeding is also free obviously. I would say that you should put away any extra money you have. Open up a special savings account meant for after the baby is born that you wont touch until then. Cut back on little things. Get the basic cable (no movie channels or anything), car pool with your BF to save gas, clip coupons. All the little things add up.

Good luck. I'm sure you'll be fine.

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July 6th, 2005, 11:04 AM
Twinkle's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 57,412
Jen always says it best!

Welcome to Just Mommies, my unplanned daughter is now almost one! But it seems like just yesterday I was in your shoes. Telling your parents suck! But it has to be done, and once its out in the open you will feel sooooo much better. When you do tell them, having a game plan in your head is a great idea. They will ask questions, and its a great way to show your maturity if you have ideas and answers for them.

I'm glad you found your way here! Good Luck!

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July 7th, 2005, 11:37 PM
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 46
Yeah, I just need a little bit longer to let things set in (and for my boyfriend and I to work up a plan) before I go to our parents...I can't wait to get it all over with though. Umm...actually, this is quite funny...but I have a question. I've been extremely emotional lately...I was watching Conan a little while ago and something funny happened so I laughed until I cried...then the funny ha-ha crying went into just plain crying my eyes out. I'm not upset about everything but I just want to either laugh or cry all the time...sometimes I want to do both at once How emotional have you all gotten during your pregnancy...what should I expect? One more question...I just recently started a job at a supply warehouse stocking shelves, sweeping etc. I need to tell my boss the news pretty soon (great timing huh) and I was just wondering about how long will I be able to work through my pregnancy?
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July 11th, 2005, 07:50 PM
Posts: n/a
The hormones are taking over, huh?? Well, I know how you feel. I'm almost 36 weeks and I have felt like a wreck for most of this pregnancy! It doesn't get much better... But, just know that it's normal and it'll end sometime after the baby is born.... (well, we hope!) lol.

As far as working, discuss your duties with your doc and see what he/she recommends for you. They know more about what you can/can't do during pregnancy. Most of the time, if your job poses no risks you can work up until delivery, but it all depends on your doc and your job, so make sure you ask em!
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