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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy

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  #1  
March 12th, 2007, 05:31 PM
Chellybella's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: New Jersey
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I already posted this in the introduction threads but I thought I would post it here, since this is definitely an unplanned pregnancy.

I am 31 and am pregnant for the first time. It's a total surprise, March 2nd I took two tests and they came up positive. I assumed I was about 8 weeks along as I had missed two periods and just stopped taking BC two months prior. When I went to the OBGYN I found out I was more along the lines of 15 weeks along which puts me at around 16 weeks now and due some time in August. I won't know with more certaintly until March 19th when I go for an ultrasound. I didn't have ANY symptoms other than some tiredness and sore breasts, both of which were explained away to other things as I had just stopped BC (sore breasts) and had a brand new schedule where I was getting up four hours earlier than before.

My BF isn't happy. He has two children and is at the tail end of finalizing his divorce. He is a dedicated father to his children and is terrified of how to tell them (they are 5 and 6) that they are going to have a brother or sister but not from Mommy. He ordered me to have an abortion before we knew how far along I am, then he tried to order me to give the baby up for adoption. Neither of these things were an option for me and I told him he could leave or stay, either way I was having the baby. He is still around and has been a bit more supportive of me, although he is definitely not excited. He hasn't told anyone in his family yet.

I am also pretty terrified because for the four months I didn't know I was pregnant I was drinking and going about my life as normal, not realizing I had this baby inside of me I should have been taking care of. I feel like I have failed this baby before he/she even has a chance. I am here because I don't really have anyone in my life I can talk to about these things, I've looked around a bit and everyone here seems so supportive, so I hope I can find a way to fit in.
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  #2  
March 12th, 2007, 08:45 PM
waitin4ansleigh's Avatar Super Mommy
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Hi there... Congrats on the baby! I know this is a sucky time for you and I hope we can be of some help... But I also know that things get better after they get worse... take my word for it!!! BF is already coming around so I hope that you two can work things out...

And I know it's hard to say but don't be so concerned about what your previous actions did... As long as you stop now you shouldn't have anything wrong... the placenta is a great organ and it works like a pool filter taking out most of the leaves and such so what gets to the baby isn't alot if even anything... And I know it's easier said than dont to say don't worry... But soon you'll see (In your first u/s) that things are just fine!!!

Good luck and hope to hear more from you!
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  #3  
March 13th, 2007, 07:23 AM
first_time_mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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congratulations on your prengnacy!!!!!!!!!! after a while when you get all excited about it you'll be so happy you're further along than you thought. waiting is hell!

Your bf is already coming around, just give him some time. men dont take the surprise as well as we do! And really have to give you kudos for standing up to him when he ordered you to get an abortion or put the baby up for adoption. I'm so happy for you that you didnt let him talk you into something you regret.

dont worry about what you've done before you got pregnant, just make sure you look after yourself now and everything will be great. a baby will do anything it needs to survive and be healthy no matter what it needs to take from you. your baby is really well protected!

please stay on the board, these ladies are such amazing support, no matter what the problem is! you are more than welcome!
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Robyn, wife to Steven, mom to Jake (7th Aug 2007)
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  #4  
March 13th, 2007, 08:00 AM
sarabella
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Just give him time... mine was none too thrilled when I got pregnant either.... wanting an abortion/adoption as well. But now he's more excited then I am. (He's also not throwing up, can take whatever medicine he wants to and doesn't have boobs the size of watermelons so what does he know.) It's harder for men to accept because it's not physically changing them like it is us. I'm sure he'll come around though.

As far as the baby, CONGRATS!!!

I also didn't know I was pregnant for the first 2 months of my pregnancy.... and I drank like a FISH when we were on vacation in the Caribbean (it was all inclusive, wouldn't you!) and took antibiotics when I got home for E. Coli and drank on New Year's Eve, the day before we found out! But the doctor assures me I have nothing to worry about as long as I'm eating healthy now (what I can keep down...) and taking my vitamins (that stay down... lol) and not drinking or anything now. (there are times when I want to snatch the martini right out of a friends hand... how they dare they drink when I can't!)

We have all been in your shoes in one way or another and you will find a great support system here!
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  #5  
March 13th, 2007, 08:32 AM
Chellybella's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thank you all

Quote:
And really have to give you kudos for standing up to him when he ordered you to get an abortion or put the baby up for adoption. I'm so happy for you that you didnt let him talk you into something you regret.[/b]
Neither was an option for me so I felt like I didn't have a choice, but it was definitely a scary few days while we argued about it. I wanted to be happy about this, I've always wanted to be a Mother and thought I couldn't get pregnant, but he was sucking all the happiness out of me. At this point he still has made any proclomation that he is staying with me and the baby,but he is still here and we have been getting along fine and he even listens to me talk about all the changes my body is going through. We've talked about future plans as well, (not anything having to do with the baby) so it's a weird time.

Quote:
We have all been in your shoes in one way or another and you will find a great support system here![/b]
It feels good to know that I am not alone. I pray every night that I haven't done any damage to the baby. I will definitely be back and posting here all the time, I feel relieved I can talk about some of these things
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  #6  
March 13th, 2007, 08:37 AM
sarabella
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Trust me, I can talk about things on here that either no one around me wants to hear about or I feel I can't talk about with friends and family.
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  #7  
March 13th, 2007, 08:54 AM
swade66's Avatar My friends call me HIRB.
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I am so glad you found us here!

I know that it must be really hard for you right now and there is always someone around on here to talk if you need to. If you can't find anyone in this room the August DDC is full of wonderful ladies as well (I know because that is my DDC).

I am so glad that you stood up to your BF when he wanted you to have an abortion and give the baby up. I think that maybe with time he will come around. It just sounds like his world is already in a whirl wind and this probably shocked him more then anything.

As far as not knowing you were pregnant for the first few months don't worry yourself about it. You can't change the past and as long as you keep healthy in the future that is what matters now.

Keep us posted on how things are going with you. You will be in my thoughts and prayers!
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  #8  
March 13th, 2007, 09:27 AM
first_time_mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Trust me, I can talk about things on here that either no one around me wants to hear about or I feel I can't talk about with friends and family.[/b]
i totally agree. i can say things here and know that no one will think i'm crazy. i'm not close to my family at all, i havent even many friends, and as much as dh tries, he hasnt got a vagina!
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Robyn, wife to Steven, mom to Jake (7th Aug 2007)
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  #9  
March 13th, 2007, 10:21 AM
sarabella
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Quote:
Quote:
Trust me, I can talk about things on here that either no one around me wants to hear about or I feel I can't talk about with friends and family.[/b]
i totally agree. i can say things here and know that no one will think i'm crazy. i'm not close to my family at all, i havent even many friends, and as much as dh tries, he hasnt got a vagina!
[/b]
I am close to my family but my pregnancy is like night and day from my sister's and she doesn't seem to get that. She didn't have any morning sickness at all and I have HG so she's a little less then understanding when I'm throwing up all the time.
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