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3rd pregnancy 2nd baby and scared

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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July 18th, 2005, 08:46 PM
2NDTIME's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: MI
Posts: 726
I am 25 and on my 3rd pregnancy but this will be my 2nd live birth. I am totally scared while trying to be happy. I gotten pregnant by my ex bf and he does not want me to have a baby right now. I have went through the pain of an abortion 9 years ago and have not gotten over the pain of it yet. My mom has been totally supportive of me and my first baby. She was mad at first but she never turned her back on me. The guy that I am pregnant by now my mom totally HATES for things that were done in the past and for his life style now. I guess I should mention that he has just had a baby 6 months ago which does not help our situation. I want to keep the baby even though he keeps pushing me not to and. I need the support of my mom and I really don't know how to tell her that I am pregnant by him or even pregnant again. I am not exactly financially stable and live at home with my mom. Although I have made sure that I was able to take care of my first child I am not sure if I can make the necessary adaptions to take care of 2 children. I don't want my mom to take care of my children but I need her support until I become stable. I am just scared of the pain that I will cause her. She does not want me to go through the struggle that she went through having 3 children on her own after her divorce. I guess I am just asking for ways to break the news to my family anything that could help to soften the blow.

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July 18th, 2005, 11:03 PM
Pickle Pops's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 759
I'm in a similar situation with the father not wanting anything to do with the baby, but I'm okay with that because I know that I can offer it as much love and support that it would ever need. As scared as I was about telling my mom about my pregnancy, she took it really well and has been completely supportive of it. ((which really shocked me)) there's no easy way to break the news, but don't wait too long. She may freak out on you at first, but eventually I'm sure she will support you and the new arrival.

Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.

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July 19th, 2005, 07:21 AM
Posts: n/a
I don't really know what to say except good luck!
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July 19th, 2005, 12:30 PM
stephie1012's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: new jersey
Posts: 12,985
do you want the father to be invovled? if not you can tell her your not sure who the father is...i mean its up to you, but im sure your mom will be supportive..you can do it good luck


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July 19th, 2005, 01:06 PM
2NDTIME's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: MI
Posts: 726
The father claims to be in love with me. He is the first bf I have ever had and we had 7 years together from when I was 13. My first pregnancy was by him at 16 we didn't keep that baby. I feel that God may be giving me back what I had lost all those years back. I don't understand why he wants me to have an 2nd abortion. I can not go through it. I feel like if I keep it I will lose him ( which at this point I am starting not to care). If I get rid of it I win the man. Your baby is a mighty price to pay for any man except for the Lord himself. As much as I want to be with him I am willing to let him go again. I have my first doctors apt this Thursday. I am happy and ready to get a due date. I'm also a little worried about how many I might have. I am not sure if my weight gain is normal or not. I started at 130 lbs and now I am at 137 lbs and showing far more I did with my first baby. I have always had kind of a pugde after my first baby so no one really notices I just were loose t-shirts all the time now. By my calcualations and by the calculators I am about 4w 3ds along. I am not sure if I should be gaining so much so fast. 7 pounds is a lot for the first month.

Thanks every one for your support and replies it helps me to get on with my happiness of having another child.

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August 1st, 2005, 10:40 AM
Maya's Momma 25
Posts: n/a
Neber let a man talk you into an abortion you don't want. you will regret it and resent him forever. Do what you want! If you wnt to keep the baby then keep it and tell him to drop the subject.
My husband wanted me to have an abortion this time casue I was so upset that I was pregnant. We already have one and tried to have one a year ago, but lost the baby and so it was so strange that he thought I should have an abortion. But I told him that regardless of my initial shcok and unhappiness, that I will eventually be happy and that I wanted the baby. i told him to stop suggesting that and he never mentioned it again. I know he was trying to do for me what he thought was best, but it just made things worse.
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August 8th, 2005, 08:55 PM
*Ade*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 13,315
im so sorry for your situation....i myself have had an abortion-2 actually, and the first one i feel was a mistake so i dont know why i even had the second. i was depressed forever and am still not completely over it....of course i suggest dont do it, and you dont want to anyway. but, in my opinion, is choose your baby. adoption is always an option too, i know theres prolly a lot of depression involved there too, but its better than an abortion. hopefully your bf comes around, if not he'll have to learn to deal. again, im sorry hes asking you to have another abortion. good luck!!

Proud SAHM to my 5 beauties
Proud wife to my amazing husband, Joey

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