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Do your children have the same father?

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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July 13th, 2007, 04:45 PM
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 4
I realize this isn't something everyone likes to discuss so I apologize now if I offend anyone.

I'm having my second child in February and I already have a 5 year old. I think it's great but there are other people in my family that don't think so because my children have different fathers. Personally, I don't think it matters. I realize it's not ideal but what in life is? I'll love my children the same regardless of who fathered them. I have half brothers and sisters that I love just the same as my full brothers and sisters, I don't see them as half anything, I just see them as siblings so I just don't see what the big deal is! My daughter's father is a POS and even though this baby was as unplanned as unplanned could be, I wanted more children eventually. What am I supposed to do, have another baby with the same idiot? Lol, sorry... this is turning into more of a vent than a question!

So, do all your children have the same father? Do you think it's wrong to have children with different men? If your children do have different fathers, how do you deal with the stupid comments and rude attitudes from other people?

Sorry again if this is too personal!
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July 13th, 2007, 05:19 PM
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i can't answer all of those questions, because i have only been pregnant by 1 guy (my dh) and have not even had the baby yet... ideally, i see myself being married to him for life therefore he would be the only father of my children.
however, in other situations, such as yours... ITA with everything you said. it's not always possible to do so and its not always ideal.
idk, i remember growing up and seeing kids being made fun of for having numerous siblings all with different fathers and i always felt bad for them. its not their fault, and no one should be teased for that reason. but kids are kids and they find reasons to make fun of anyone different. as for adults being rude, they can go ^!&# themselves!!! its none of their business in the first place, and they shouldn't state their opinion unless asked!

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July 14th, 2007, 01:49 PM
first_time_mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: ireland
Posts: 5,136
i'm only pregnant with my first, but my brother and i have a different father to my sister. personally i'm delighted that she doesnt have the same tool of a father that i do, and i'm happy that my mother found a man who treats her right.

i would never judge a woman who had children with different men. its her choice and as long as the children are being taken care of properly thats all that matters.
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Robyn, wife to Steven, mom to Jake (7th Aug 2007)
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July 14th, 2007, 08:20 PM
Nikki.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I do not think it is wrong to have children by different men. If it did not work out with the father of your first child what else are you supposed to do? Of course you're going to meet someone new and have children with them.

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July 15th, 2007, 12:45 AM
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: san diego, ca
Posts: 55
I have 3 daughters with my x husband who i was with for 12 years... and now 4 years after my divorce Im having a baby with a person I probably wont be with ... I ask myself the same questions. How does this look, what will people say? I was even really thinking strongly about getting my tubes tied after this then a friend told me well what if you meet THE guy and he wants to have a child... ??? I dont know, this wasnt how I planned things I thought we could be together but things happen and life can just be real crazy sometimes but I believe there is a reason for everything and that this baby will be a blessing in my life. I plan on not listening to ANY negativity, loving my babyboy with all my heart...

OH and dont think it is uncommon to have children by different people really it isnt... I look back at my family alone and just about all of them have half brothers and sisters.. even I do at 32, I have a brother and sister that are as old as my youngest daughters.
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July 16th, 2007, 01:23 PM
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: washington,dc
Posts: 8
No, I think you do what is best for you. I have three children and my husband is the father to my last child but my older children have different fathers. Everybody situation is different but you have the right to have children with whom you chose. My children don't understand half siblings. That is because I have raised them as one and my husband has adopted both of my boys. I will tell them one day only if they ask because they have a great father in their life. People no matter what they hear are going to be negative but you have a option to listen or turn them off.
Sandy proud mother of three

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July 22nd, 2007, 08:54 PM
Melanie.'s Avatar Totalimmortal
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Ohio.
Posts: 11,976
I thought about this when Jesse and I broke up. I'm having his baby and I don't really know if I would want to have someone else's. We got back together, though. So I don't have to worry about that for now.
audrey jane 03.01.08
elliot benjamin 02.02.11
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July 24th, 2007, 10:23 PM
Kalia20's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: ontario canada
Posts: 5,890
My mother feels embarassed. She had my brother, 29, with her ex. She left him because he became abusive, met and married my dad a few years later and had me. Im 25. Their marriage broke up after about 15 years and she met someone else and has a 9 and 8 year old, by the same man. Shes so embarrassed to have four kids with 3 men, but I told her NOT to be, because she was in a relationship with all of them, intended for it to be forever. And its not like shes like one of these women that go on Maury, "one of these 5 men is my babys daddy but I'm 100% HES the daddy!!!" LMAO. I feel bad for the kids (if that shows actually real )

I'm having my first with my man now. I dont think I would be embarrassed if we broke up say ten years down the road and I started a relationship with a new man and had another. I feel its the situation as to how I would look at a mother. How she conducts her own life, is she a responsible loving mother? Or does she like to party to much? And well, not knowing the father.....I dont know, I find that.....not right. Feel bad for the poor kid.


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