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Small town blues...

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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August 23rd, 2005, 01:28 PM
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 46
I'm sure a lot of you out there of any age can understand this but...I guess I need some reassurance...my parents are really beginning to get excited, so are Charlie's and they're really excited to see us get married...we had already planned to and I'm just happy we made the decision based on us instead of just getting married because of the baby. Everything is going great for us but...I live in a small town and most of my friends with kids have moved away so I only get to see them every once in a while. The friends that are still here don't really seem to understand where I'm coming from...and even though I've never really been the kind of person to want to go "be young" and go out and be crazy...I do feel left out that none of my friends here want to take part in the things I like to do...like watch "A Baby Story" and work on the baby room I guess I just feel a little lonely to not have any friends around in the same situation...I was just wondering if anyone else went through this and if so, did you overcome it?
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August 23rd, 2005, 04:22 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,217
Congrats on the pregnancy and your planning a wedding. My friends are all into drinking and smoking. I still talk to them. BUt I can't really hang out with them because they are always constantlly smoking cigarettes inside. Also every one of my friends has their own thing going on. I am one of the only people that rent my own apartment and live with my boyfriend and work full-time. So most are use to me not being around. None have kids and I am the first. I don't mind all that much. I know theres more to life then acting young and irresonsible. My life will have real meaning and purpose compared to theirs where their main purpose is to get high and sleep. I realize and understand this. Its just accepting the fact that I have nothing to do sometimes because my friends are all elsewhere being young and carefree. I also know that if I ever need a night to go "be young" she will be more then happy to take care of her grandson. But I have a feeling I will be to worried about my baby and feel guilty for wanting a night out. Most likely a night to myself when baby is born would be spent watching a movie and curling up to my baby's father enjoying a good nights sleep. Little things get me through being alone most of the time. You just have to find those little things to get you through until your baby is here and when he or she is he/she will be your little thing, your purpose. Something that no party or fun time can replace. Good luck and congrats again.

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August 23rd, 2005, 07:50 PM
TylerJ1029's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: at my desk
Posts: 27,881
I def. went through that. I lost alot of friends (by choice) during my pregnancy with DS. I just moved on to a different place in my life and they didnt. I would much rather watch Disney with my son than go out drinking at a party so I dont feel bad about it at all. It was hard for a while. I did some scrapbooking, found new things to do with DH, got addicted to JM . I even met someone here on JM that lives only 20 mins away and we have become real life friends. I dont have many friends but I make do with what I have.
Once your baby comes it'll be easier because you'll have "something else to do" and keep you busy.

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August 23rd, 2005, 08:23 PM
oLawdImaMomma's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 287
Dont worry you're not alone. I just moved to Alabama from Arkansas in April. I dont know many people here and the baby's father is getting deployed to Iraq for 18 months October the 2nd. Keeping in touch with my friends back home and trying to make new friends is keeping me sane for the time being and I occupy the rest of my time picking out baby stuff and watching baby delivery shows lol. It gets a little easier everyday i hope the same happens for you =)

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August 23rd, 2005, 09:02 PM
Posts: n/a
Yup! Same thing happened to me. I had just finished univresity when I got preggos and my friends were still into clubbing and stuff... I however still haven't found a friend who I can relate to ! My sister had a baby 3 months before I did but she lives 4 hours away from me... Anyway, I go and visit her and the rest of my family as much as I can. My fiance however, has always been my best friend !
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August 24th, 2005, 09:47 AM
Blueberry's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 70
I feel you! I have like no female friends. The lady's I work with with and thats it. It helps to come here. You have us
Mother to Erica 12/7/92, Anthony 1/13/06, Akasha 1/8/07, Alexander 5/17/08, Aja 1/14/10 Grandmother to LaNiyah 6/8/09, Thailya 4/7/2011
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August 27th, 2005, 09:59 PM
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 46
Yeah, I'm pretty much in the same situation...after saying no to going out with my friends so many times they finally started asking why...I did the best I could to explain to them that I just couldnt and didnt want to be around all of the pothead and constant drinkers anymore...I'm gonna be a mom, I don't want to be associated with that! I still talked to them but they were offended by what I said (even though I think they did understand)...so we've just lost touch. And of course all my childhood friends have gone off to college or are working hard starting lives with men of their own. My best friend lives 3 hours away, has one child and is married and pregnant with her second...I try to visit as much as possible since she's a navy wife and half of the women she knows around her are pregnant too lol, so I have so many people to relate to while I'm there. Problem is, we're scrimping and saving every dime for the baby so we dont have a lot of money to travel 3 hrs to the beach for the weekend. Worst part...I just quit my job lately since the doctor said it was too dangerous for the baby. I can't find work since I couldnt go right back after the baby is born....yeah, I've found solace in baby delivery shows and picking out clothes and making plans as well but I still get a little lonely...the fiance is constantly working to make money for his family so he's not around much. I'm sure you guys are right...I'll be way too busy with baby and college (and work not long after) here pretty soon so...yeah, I'll be fine. I guess sometimes I just feel like a failure that with a baby we wont be able to move away for a long while longer than expected. You guys definitely keep me sane...when I found this forum I thought I would cry with joy Thanks for all the support!
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August 28th, 2005, 06:27 AM
Pickle Pops's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 759
yenno.. when i first found out I was pg.. I was absolutely devastated... and living in a very, very small town and always wanting "out" I felt like I was stuck here forever.. no one really seemed to support me (friends wise) at first but my family has been amazing. Since finding out I was pregnant, an ex-coworker is due two days after me... another friend is due in March, my cousin is due exactly two months behind me in April and one of my best friends is due in late April.. so I have found myself surrounded by people who are dealing with the same situation as I am. In a way it's weird, but in a way it's comforting knowing I'm not alone. I donno, it's very weird.

Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.

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