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Pregnancy found out after breakup

Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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August 5th, 2007, 07:58 PM
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 3
Hello everyone,

I would appreciate your feedback on my issue. I broke up with my girlfriend a few weeks ago and she took it very badly and began to get bitter with me because the relationship we had was a big loss to her. Her emotions have been horrible ever since. Putting these details aside, I called her and she was in a hostile mood and began telling me she wants nothing to do with me ever again, she hates me and breaking up was the best thing that ever happened for her. In the same conversation she announced she was pregnant and decided abortion was the only answer to this problem. In response, I gave her my word I will respect her decision and be responsible for my part. I will be the best father possible if she decides to keep it which I encouraged. However her circumstances are not good for the idea of being a single mother and how unfair it would be on the child to be without the love of two parents raising it together.

Our form of contraception was she used the pill, combined with the withdrawl method. She admits she took the pill religiously.

I am not sure where I stand now. I am questioning if this was an emotional outburst to punish me for the breakup and the pregnancy may be faked. I don't know how to try and get proof of this without being offensive or evasive, because I Have humbled myself into taking her word for it. We do not physically see each other and that's how she wants it. I have been shut out. However, she dropped the hostility in a followup call and became rather friendly about it.

How can I position myself to know as much truth as possible about this? Any feedback would be great. Thanks
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August 6th, 2007, 04:31 AM
first_time_mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: ireland
Posts: 5,136
its your child too. if you need proof that the pregnancy exists i wouldnt hesitate to ask for a test. its not like you're denying its yours, which is very responsible of you.

its ultimitely her decision and you cant really do anything to influence it except let her know that you will be there both financially and emotionally if she does decide to keep it. and you should prob come to some custody agreement before the child is born.

good luck with everything.
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Robyn, wife to Steven, mom to Jake (7th Aug 2007)
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August 6th, 2007, 04:47 PM
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 3
Thanks for your reply!
And all the best with your own pregnancy, I am hoping it goes very smoothly!

I am very, very sure this is a fake/pretend pregnancy because of a few factors that just don't add up in both my mind and minds of others that know us very well. But for my own knowledge & wellbeing I'd like to be cautious just incase it's true. I do strive to be a genuine guy and would try to do the right thing in this circumstance.

Next time she calls to continue the discussion I will be showing my support, but I will base it on the FACT that there is a pregnancy truly there. I would like to ask her to visit the doctors together to get the test done and find out the stage of the fetus. It should be at least 8 weeks in development by todays date, and counting. Then if she backs out of that idea, that's the time I feel is right to say that I can't continue simply taking her 'word for it'. Without the proof, it's not real enough for me to continue discussing the issue. I just need to gently put her on the spot. Is this appropriate to ask her this way?

It's common knowledge she'd been partying while drunk and "pashing" with other guys since our breakup. But let me spare you the soap opera, the fact is if she's pregnant it may not even be mine. I guess I just need the wisest words to use!

Thanks again, any further support is fully welcome by you.
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August 6th, 2007, 04:57 PM
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Jax Jax is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Pekin, Il
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You're very well spoken, and sound intelligent, as well as chivalrous.. (sad that by today's definition that might be considered NOT abandoning a girl after "knocking her up").

Your plan is flawless, in my opinion. Offering to come to an appointment is VERY supportive and only suggests that you will continue to be as good as you have been up until this point. And of course, if she has even the slightest protest to this offer, it would certainly seem that she is lying.

Keep in mind (and you may already know this) that when counting by weeks, you're already "two weeks along" when the woman actually conceives. (doctors use the first day of your last period as the start of the pregnancy) Most guys aren't aware of that little tid-bit. So adding two weeks to your calculation, if applicable, wouldn't hurt. (so in other words, if the doctor told you she was 8 weeks along, that would "actually" put her at 6)

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August 7th, 2007, 02:22 AM
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 3
Thanks Jackie, your words gave me a lot of encouragement. I will reply back to this thread how it pans out (in time). Congratulations on your pregnancy too, and I hope your baby brings you & Jared a lot of joy.

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August 7th, 2007, 11:19 AM
swade66's Avatar My friends call me HIRB.
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sewickley, PA
Posts: 39,416
I agree with the advice already given. I just wanted to offer my support to you.

***Don't expect me to lie to you just because you won't like the truth.***
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August 7th, 2007, 06:59 PM
Star's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,722
Sim... you are just too cute.... thank you for giving some of us ladies that there is still hope for men out there!! haha

Good luck with everything!

Thanks to mtdk454 for the beautiful siggie!!

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August 8th, 2007, 12:12 AM
Posts: n/a
I also agree with what the other ladies have said, Sim. And thank you for being so mature as to seek help in being supportive of the entire situation. My boyfriend and I have only been together a short time and now we are expecting. Each day is a challenge to stay together, but we're doing the best we can. What is incredibly encouraging is that I know no matter what, he'll always be there for our son, and he'll always be supportive of me as a mother. That's an amazing thing.

Just keep assuring her of your positive attitude as well.

I wish you the best in the situation, pregnancy or not.
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