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Forum: Unplanned Pregnancy


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August 24th, 2007, 01:06 PM
Alison81's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: New York
Posts: 7,593
Thanks for asking Sara, and I've got a few friends ready to come over and kick his butt, so he might be getting a rude awakening if he doesn't come around soon! He's still not happy, and doesn't want to talk about it AT ALL. I honestly don't know what to do. I've considered leaving for a couple nights, and see how he manages without me. He'd be screwed if I left, since I am the main caretaker of the kids now, I have to bring them to and from school, I am the reason he can have a second job, etc. For now, I'm ignoring his rude remarks and complaints about me feeling sick. I have been down this road before, and I know the outcome of having the baby is the better one. I've honestly been considering setting up an appt for an abortion, and then freaking out when they ask why I want to have an abortion, and then they won't let me get one, and he'll have no other choice but to accept it. But I don't know if I could ever step foot in that place, having an abortion was the worst experience of my life, and I'd feel bad even being there at all.

Thank you AlexKatieAiden Mommy for my siggy!
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August 25th, 2007, 06:18 PM
sara~b's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Pittsburgh PA
Posts: 10,350
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Don't even think about making the appointment Ali! I know you want this baby and I know you are ready. If he's not then it's his loss. I kind of agree with you when you say you should leave for a couple days. Maybe you should say you need a vacation and you need to think about what's best for you and Elsa. Then you could take her and stay somewhere nice for a few nights. Have some mommy-daughter time and get a break while you're at it. It'll probably scare him so much he'll have the nursery set up when you get back! Plus you'd be less stressed to boot. Keep me posted K? I think I stalk you more than my sister. I can't believe how much it feels like I've gone through everything with some of you ladies and I'd be so sad to see you do something you'd regret. I've been in your shoes and I support you 100%. You are so strong! Good luck and congratulations! I can't say it enough!
Sara, 27, married to Shane, 31, mom to Gemma, 6, and Ashlyn, born 8/7/10

Running for my health and sanity!
PR's: 5k-25:05 (old PR 25:10), 5M-45:03 (old PR - 47:22), 10k - 52:00 (approximate - training), HM-2:25:58 (ran a 2:17:36 during marathon), Full- 4:49:25 (old PR -5:49:40), 50k-7:05:56, 50M-13:31:14, 100k- 18:59:31 (old PR 20:56)
(All of these PR's are going down this season!)

My Pregnancy Chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1c6297
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August 27th, 2007, 09:40 AM
linzi's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: uk
Posts: 12,595
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hi hun im just lurking from march 07PR
my bf was the same and it was planned i know how horrible it makes you feel. i told bf i wanted another baby ( after months of thinking about it )
i didnt get on to him or anything and a few nites later he told me yes to having another i got preggers first try and when i told him i was he was like he said he didnt think i would av got pregnant because we didnt dtd loads and from then on he used to say IT'S yours,not ours and all through my pregnancy he only felt my tum about 3 times without me asking him to i felt like crap all through my pregnancy i felt trapped and so alone i really wouldnt recomend anyone putting therself though that it was horrible. bf took to kyle as soon as he was born and hes been great ever since you would never have known he was the way he was you need to do wats best for you your kids and your unborn baby put him in his place girl dont just carry on like i did.
All the best hun and GOOD LUCK


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January 20th, 2008, 03:23 PM
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Midwest
Posts: 6
When I told my DH that I was preggo with our second, he blamed me the entire 9 months. He only went to appointments that involved ultrasounds and was not very supportive throughout the entire process. When I had my DS he hardly spent any time with me at the hospital, he didn't even hold the baby until we had been home for 5 days! But now, almost a year later, he can't leave the new baby alone... I would say give it some time. Going through a pregnancy by yourself sucks, but doing it while blaming yourself for your SO's lack of support only makes it worse. Depend on those who are truly behind you and you will make it... and hopefully one day, your SO will be excited and with you 100%!

Hope this helps!
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January 22nd, 2008, 02:48 PM
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4
Hi, I don't really post that much but I did come across this thread and I agree with the telling friends and family. No one in mine or my finance's family is very happy about our unplanned pregnancy. My parents kicked me out and his were kind enough to let us stay with them so we could save money. When my hunny's at work and I'm here, I always here them saying the meanest things (even his brother's gf) and it really keeps me from being as happy about our baby girl as I would be. I tell him and he of course gets really upset but he says we'll have our own place soon. We're both just out of high school so we didn't have that much money saved up (especially for a baby) However, all of our friends are excited and as often as we can we make it a point to spend time with them. It's soo great being capable of being around people who are excited. Besides, you're pregnant and you're happy about it, why shouldn't you spend a little time who are excited as well. I know the lonely feeling. It sucks and being all emotional already makes it harder. If it makes any difference, I'm excited for you!

Give him time and tell a few close people in your life about the great news!
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February 1st, 2008, 09:23 PM
lilmama's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 482
Thanks everyone, that makes me feel a little bit better. He's still being really insensitive. The moment I even mention one word about being pregnant, he says he doesn't want to hear it. I just hope it gets better. I feel so alone when I'm home now.[/b]

I hope everything gets better for you but I know somewhat of what your going through....when I told my BF I was pregnant he acted happy and excited and a little scared (it's his first my second) and now he acts like he doesn't want anything to do with me he hardly talks to me and isn't there for me....but I know deep down I am strong and can do this with the help of my mom and my best friend!!! If you ever need anyone to talk to feel free to send me a message and I will be here for you if you have problems or just need someone to talk to....

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