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People who don't want kids!

Forum: Closely Spaced Siblings


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  • 1 Post By mommy2skyty

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May 31st, 2011, 11:25 PM
mommy2skyty's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 914
Ok I don't know what it is lately but lately I have been surround with people who don't want kids! I went shopping the other day with both of my kids and they were getting a little excited but nothing out of the ordinary. When I was going to check out a lady was next to me and she said, "that is why I don't want to have kids." I just looked at her and said, "having kids is tough sometimes but I wouldn't trade them for the world." Then the next day we took a tour of the local historical area and we brought our kids because we don't have anyone to help watch them. The tour was only older people and many of them commented that they "love kids but never wanted any of their own." This older lady said "I hope your kids are on their best behavior and don't cry and make a fuss." I mean I don't have a problem with people not wanting to have kids but keep it to themself and don't judge or say rude things to peple who do have kids.

Sure I think back to the times where it was just my husband and I and life was very different and we did do many fun things and go to many great places but I always knew I wanted to have kids and be a family. Luckily for us when we were ready to have kids I got pregnant right away and having a baby changed my life in soo many ways. Then getting pregnant with my son was a surprise but a very happy one! My kids are my world and even know being a mommy is hard sometimes they are soo worth it and make my life soo happy

How have your kids changed your life?
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Kelly and John- Married: Sep 30th, 2006

Skyla Helen- Feb 2nd, 2008
Tyler Lyman- Sep 6th, 2009

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June 1st, 2011, 12:19 PM
Loving My Piglets
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: England, UK
Posts: 34,596
some people can be so rude!!
..together for 12 years..

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June 1st, 2011, 05:20 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 28,175
some people are very selfish and self centered, you don't tend to see parents being like that, most of the time

Lucky mother to five!

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June 1st, 2011, 08:41 PM
babydahl's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 13,871
Originally Posted by MarieJ View Post
some people are very selfish and self centered, you don't tend to see parents being like that, most of the time
Totally, fully agree.

My sister will likely never have kids and she is ridiculously selfish. When you have kids you get bumped waaaaay down to the bottom of the priority list and I find that people without kids always put themselves first. Not that treating yourself right isn't important, but I think when you have kids you realize that there's soooo much more to your world and life than just yourself.
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June 2nd, 2011, 02:44 AM
acupofjoe's Avatar Proud mama of three!
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: washington state.
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I know the feeling, people can be so rude at times.
Nessa proud married working mother of three kids in Washington state. Trying to raise our family of five as LDS. Taking life one day at a time.
Jordan - 6 yr; Stan - 4 yr; & Tyler - 2 yr.
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June 2nd, 2011, 05:42 AM
LisaMarie!'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 9,710
Having kids does change your life and I believe those statements were rude. I don't think adults who decide to not have kids are selfish. I believe they decided to not have children because they are not meant to be a mom. Nothing wrong with it. My sister I don't think will ever have kids. Of course their money is spent on them. If they would have an opps then their life would change and the money will go for the children.

I had a coworker in her 40 with no kids and she asked me if she spent too much money on the shirt. It cost over a $100. I told her "your asking someone with children who tend to shop at Walmart and Target. HELL YES you spent too much money. BUT you don't have children to worry about."

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June 2nd, 2011, 09:46 PM
Happy Song's Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 11,023
I can do you one better. My sister never wanted children she had an oopsie baby. (Not sure how that happens to a lesbian)
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June 6th, 2011, 02:21 PM
sugarloafbaby's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,101
Some people really are just rude. I think if you don't want kids then fine but please keep it to yourself or at least refrain from making comments to other parents!

My older sister will also likely never have kids- she is too focused on her career and putting herself first right now. Having kids changes your outlook on life sooooo drastically (in a good way I think!), so it is hard for me to understand sometimes why she would not want all the joy that comes with motherhood. But to each their own I guess- in my view, they are the ones missing out!
Mommy to 2 girls , 6/26/10 & 12/31/11

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March 6th, 2012, 11:19 PM
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1
Wow ladies, believe it or not just because a women make a choice not to have kids does not make her, selfish or less of a women. I don't have children, but here I am taking time out of my day to surf the web for ideas to help my sister who just delivered her second child, I don't think that's selfish. I agree that it is rude to make comment on others peoples children, especially strangers, but us child-free ladies always have to deal with "well it's different when it's your own" or "you'll change your mind" (my personal favourite, it's like I bought a dress I wasn't certain about, lol) It's not like you ever have to go about defending why you had children so maybe you can not be so judgemental on someone else's personal choice
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March 9th, 2012, 11:11 AM
magz88's Avatar First Time Mum
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,411
I can understand that the people were concerned their tour would be interrupted by the noise of kids. Especially if they paid for it.

I never wanted kids and this was an BC failure child.

We are lucky to live in a time where we can choose to have children or not.
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March 9th, 2012, 10:50 PM
mommy2skyty's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 914
I never said people who don't want kids are selfish. I am a teacher and I know many teachers who don't want kids of their own because they want to focus on their career as a teacher and I have a great amount of respect for them. I also have family members and neighbors who didn't want children and they are wonderful people and they are soo great with my kids and they just enjoy other people's children. I even went through a period of time where I wasn't sure I wanted to have kids either.

magz88: Since you didn't want children are you going to raise your baby or give him/her up for adoption?
Kelly and John- Married: Sep 30th, 2006

Skyla Helen- Feb 2nd, 2008
Tyler Lyman- Sep 6th, 2009

Quinn Kayden- Aug 17th, 2013

Happy Easter from my kiddos!
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March 25th, 2012, 03:14 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,309
I dont appreciate comments made on my kids, but at the same time, I dont think either one of those examples were of selfish people, just people who need to keep their judgements to themselves.

I dont believe having children has made me a better person, id still be who I am if I never had them. I also dont believe that I am bottom priority because I have kids, my priorities are still important and need to be equal to my kids priorities, im not less of a person because im a mother.

I dont think anyone whose chooses not to have kids is missing out, theyre living their lives the way they want, and thats fantastic and making what you want out of your life should be something thats celebrated, not pitied, criticised or put down.

I get really disappointed in parents when they pull the "theyre missing out" "they will never know real love" "their lives are not full" card. You cant make a judgment on the happiness or fullness of someones life just from comparing it to what you want out of yours.
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September 8th, 2012, 09:54 PM
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1

I've just written a book about being in your thirties, married and deciding whether or not to have children. You thought some of you might find it interesting. It's called Got Kids? by Amy Bell and it's available for $3.99 as an ebook on the publishing site Lulu. I've also created a Facebook page and I welcome any and all feedback. Cheers.
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