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Does it bother you when....

Forum: Closely Spaced Siblings


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March 26th, 2012, 02:37 PM
*Rosie*'s Avatar Blessed
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 547
People think your closely spaced children were unplanned?

I've had a lot of people say, Oh was it a surprise?

Well, no my second wasn't. It took a long time to get pregnant with DD1, so we decided to TTC when she was 6 months old. I got pregnant right away.

It really annoys me....

Have any of you had this happen?
~ Loving being a mom ~


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March 26th, 2012, 05:26 PM
mommy2skyty's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 914
Yes when I told my family I was pregnant for the second time my brother said, "did you forget your pill" lol! I hate it when people think I am somehow irresponsible for having my kids close together.I am soo happy for you that you got pregnant very quickly with your second baby! I love hearing other mommies stories about how they closely spaced children came about I have 3 friend who's children are 13 months apart and each one has a neat story about how they were conceived.
Kelly and John- Married: Sep 30th, 2006

Skyla Helen- Feb 2nd, 2008
Tyler Lyman- Sep 6th, 2009

Quinn Kayden- Aug 17th, 2013

Happy Easter from my kiddos!
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March 27th, 2012, 04:29 AM
Happy Song's Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 11,023
Scarlett and Beau are barely closely spaced at 23 months apart but I had three losses between them so Beau was desperately wanted. Tessa was a surprise, she is 13 months younger than Beau. The reason she is a suprise is because I was breastfeeding and I hadn't had a period yet, my husband was sleeping in a different room, when she was concieved we were in a terrible cold snap and our pipes were freezing and we had no running water for like 10 days! So the main reason she is a suprise is because I do not remember having sex! I joke that she is from sharing soap.

Any way it does bother me. But seriously even if they are surprises who could imagine life any other way?
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March 29th, 2012, 11:37 PM
acupofjoe's Avatar Proud mama of three!
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: washington state.
Posts: 21,372
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yes we hear crap all the time especially from family members. we are done now but im sure i could only imagine what else they could say if we changed our minds and wanted a fourth. we hear things like oh dont you know how to use protection, dont you know what keeps causing this, etc. very rude things that you should not say to someone..i always say yes we know how this happens, yes we wanted ALL of our children so now go on about your own business. lol i am not very nice when people talk rudely to us.
Nessa proud married working mother of three kids in Washington state. Trying to raise our family of five as LDS. Taking life one day at a time.
Jordan - 6 yr; Stan - 4 yr; & Tyler - 2 yr.
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March 30th, 2012, 04:45 PM
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 310
Sometimes, but it's really none of their business. My DH & I planned on having Hilarie but so soon was a surprise. Never thought I'd say this but it's actually a blessing in disguise to have Christina & Hilarie so close in age.
Brianne & Christopher
Married since July 2002

Together we have 4 beautiful children:
Treyden (Dec/97), Emily (Jun/00), Christina (Oct/03) & Hilarie (Dec/04)

Together we are raising 7 of my nieces & nephews:
Kristina (Feb/96), Leah (Jan/98), Austin (Apr/00), Dylan (Feb/02), Mya (Feb/02), Landon (Apr/03) & Melanie (May/08)

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March 31st, 2012, 05:33 PM
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Cleveland, Ohio
Posts: 82
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No, both of mine were unplanned.
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June 11th, 2012, 05:27 PM
Posts: n/a
I just don't think it's anyone's business, planned or not, to be asking. We are on our 5th child and EVERYONE assumes we didn't mean to have that many kids and always ask. We didn't actually try for this one and we thought we *might* be done but didn't want to do anything permanent- and I'm so thankful we didn't! People assume we need to "adjust" to the idea of this many kids, as in "Oh are you finally adjusting to the idea of having five?" Um, yeah. We "adjusted" to the idea the day we found out! *eyeroll*
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June 12th, 2012, 06:07 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,224
I don't get annyoned very easily, so it takes a long time for me to realize someone is being buggy about this. I have heard some VERY rude remarks though, and it only aggrevates me when it is in front of the children.
~Lisa, homebirthing, homeschooling , homesteading mama and student midwife. Married to my beloved for 20 years, raising a big brood of children on a little farm in Southern Michigan.

Mama to:
Nick, 19
Abby, 17
Gabe, 15
Isaac, 13
Mary-Kate, 12
Sam, 11
Henry, 10
Molly, 8
Mark, 7
Greta, 5
Cecilia, 4
Josephine, 2
Evie, born 12.31.13
Baby due in July!
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June 16th, 2012, 03:14 AM
Loving My Piglets
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: England, UK
Posts: 34,596
They are right in thinking it with me #2 and #3 were not planned and were ops but i still hate them coming out with it, because i think its very rude! it doesn't matter if they are planned or not, they are still much wanted i don't think i will tell my 2 unplanned kids when they are older they were not planned! I will be telling them all they were planned after all we did want 4 kids anyway so in a way they were planned.. just the timing was not.. only ryleigh, rhianna and this new baby were tried for.
..together for 12 years..

R (10) 24.04.06 - our little angel
R (9) 07.06.07
L (8) 05.06.08
L (6) 26.04.10
C (3) 15.02.13

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June 19th, 2012, 08:08 AM
Isabree's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 157
I still get it now and my girls are 2 and 3. I hate it too. I wanted two close in age, and I love it so much. Even if they were unplanned, I would never call my kids an oops or a mistake!

Special thanks to Claire1979 for my beautiful siggy!
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July 1st, 2012, 08:47 PM
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 10
None of ours were really "planned", we just always said if it happens, it happens. We weren't doing anything to prevent. It doesn't bother me, I just tell people that we love having them close together, and wouldn't change a thing!
"Moms, even good ones, sometimes lose it a little so as not to lose it all.”
― Susan Squire
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