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Trying for a boy but not sure on spacing or if SO is on board

Forum: Closely Spaced Siblings


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April 24th, 2012, 08:15 AM
kazarmo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,354
Not sure if posting this in the right forum or not but I wanted some of your ladies advice.
Here’s a little background on us, together my SO and I (not married) have 4 kids, I have a 15 year old daughter, he has a 12 year old and 9 year old daughter, and together we have a 4 month old daughter.
My 15 year old's father has passed away, and SO's 2 kids have a mom that they are with half-time.
Both of my kids were conceived while preventing, so most unexpected but happy nonetheless.
SO’s 1st daughter was unplanned, and his 2nd was planned.

SO and I keep discussing the possibility of having another baby. I wanted another one immediately after having our baby but then her colic set in and I said no more for me. Now I go back and forth on it.
SO said he didn’t want any more kids and has said that he never really wanted kids to begin with but now that he has them he obviously wouldn’t change that. (he’s a really great guy, can be moody but a great dad and good provider).

To follow up with SO saying he didn’t want kids he did say to me this past weekend or I should say reminded me, “that he never wants anything.” Which is very true to his personality. SO is a very laid back type of guy and goes with the flow of things. He could care less about having a new tv, or new car and is in a slight way, lazy but still gets stuff done.

I asked SO if he would be pleasing me if he agreed to having another baby and his response was “that’s how my 2nd daughter came about.”
I by no means want another surprise pregnancy and if we are going to have another baby I would very much like to plan it.
I don’t really feel that SO is on board with it though. Yet at the same time this is his personality. He’s never on board with anything.
For example, if I want to go somewhere I say to him. Ok we are going to go to Target today when the baby wakes up.” Instead of “do you want to go to Target today.?” Because if I ask him if he wants, the answer is always ‘no.’ Hope this makes sense.

So my thinking is that if we were to have another baby I for sure want to try for a boy, seeing as we have 4 girls together. And I would want to do it starting in August/Sept this year.

From everything that I’ve written what would your advice be about having another baby so close in age to our baby now and would you have another baby if SO wasn’t really saying either way?

dd15 born weighing 6 pds 2 ounces, 19 inches. 12-3-96
dd9 months born weighing 6 pds 5 ounces, 19 1/2 inches. 12-22-2011
Expecting baby #3 ANOTHER GIRL!!!!!!! woot woot

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April 27th, 2012, 08:23 PM
*Rosie*'s Avatar Blessed
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 547
I'm not sure. DD was 6 months old when we conceived again. I'm currently 32 weeks pregnant, so I'm still not fully aware of what is ahead of me when this LO arrives!

Personally, DH and I have had some relationship challenges since DD came along. Mainly to do with balance of responsibilities, but we both dearly love DD and can't wait for her to have a sibling.

I suppose you need to ask yourself if having another baby will put pressure on your relationship? If he isn't fully on board will he begin to resent you or the baby?

Hope it all works out for you!
~ Loving being a mom ~


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