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Dealing with judgement?

Forum: Closely Spaced Siblings


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  • 1 Post By mspwifey
  • 1 Post By OatmealKisses
  • 1 Post By sugarloafbaby
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June 28th, 2012, 08:00 AM
ProjectMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,298
Have you dealt with any judgement for having kids close together? We haven't announced this pregnancy yet but we found out the day before my daughter's first birthday that we are expecting baby #2. We are excited considering how long it took us to get pregnant with our DD.

I do have a few judgemental people around though and thought I'd see if there were any tips in dealing with them?
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June 28th, 2012, 07:18 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 28,175
If you're happy, that should be enough for them to accept you-it sometimes helps to throw a story out there about how some of us have kids 10months apart, that usually distracts them

Lucky mother to five!

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July 1st, 2012, 08:43 PM
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 10
We are expecting baby #4, which will make 4 kids under age 5. I get comments from strangers as well as friends/family. At the store or running errands, I hear "You sure are busy" or "You sure have your hands full". I want to say "Yeah, no $h*t. Thanks for noticing." But I just smile politely and keep walking. When we announce a pregnancy, friends and family will say "Again?! OMG, you guys are nuts" or "You're crazy", and even "Geez, you're a baby machine". Nice, right? My standard response is always "Yeah, well we love having them all close in age. I wouldn't trade it." Just show people how happy you are, and don't let their rudeness or ignorance get to you.
Arli O. likes this.
"Moms, even good ones, sometimes lose it a little so as not to lose it all.”
― Susan Squire
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July 10th, 2012, 01:11 PM
Loving My Piglets
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: England, UK
Posts: 34,596
This will be our 4th kid in 5 years.. when i had the girls (12months apart) i did get alot of how sad it was that rhianna didn't get much attention or time at all before Lacey came along etc i was pretty judged by their age gap
..together for 12 years..

R (10) 24.04.06 - our little angel
R (9) 07.06.07
L (8) 05.06.08
L (6) 26.04.10
C (3) 15.02.13

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July 12th, 2012, 07:16 PM
Alison81's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: New York
Posts: 7,593
Mine are 14.5 months apart and I just try to remind everyone how happy I am to have two kids close in age. I do get a lot of comments, the usual, "you sure have your hands full" and I always respond with "I have great kids so I love it" or something similar. Just showing people you are happy and not overwhelmed, even when you are having a rough day, or both kids are being ridiculous at the grocery store, just smile. Works best and shuts people up!

Thank you AlexKatieAiden Mommy for my siggy!
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July 29th, 2012, 03:28 PM
OatmealKisses's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,566
DON'T listen to them! The judgmental people are NOT the people you want to be around anyway! You want to cast those people out or ignore them. They are generally the types who will not help you or encourage you when you need it. Most importantly, they will not be raising your children, so who cares about them.
Arli O. likes this.

Angel Baby gone at 9 weeks, 7/8/13
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August 17th, 2012, 02:32 PM
*Rosie*'s Avatar Blessed
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 547
Ignore judgmental people. They are not worth it.

When I got pregnant with DS, DD was only 6 months old. It took me a long time to get pregnant with her, so when she was 6 months we thought we would TTC. Then WHAM, I was pregnant right away!

Someone I go to church with (yeah, church) said, "oh it was a surprise, wasn't it!" I was like, no..... He was very much planned and wanted.

Last time I saw her she said, "So you're done now, right?" I said that I wasn't sure and we would see how things go...

People drive me nuts
~ Loving being a mom ~


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August 26th, 2012, 05:40 PM
sugarloafbaby's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,101
I agree, don't listen to the negative people! My girls are 18 months apart and I constantly have people saying things like "wow you have your hands full" but I also get a lot of "you girls are so cute!". I try to let any criticism go in one ear and out the other and focus on all the positives. When I see my girls laughing together, I am reminded of how happy I am they have each other!
MomTo3LittleBoys likes this.
Mommy to 2 girls , 6/26/10 & 12/31/11

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February 16th, 2013, 05:19 PM
Libby22's Avatar Super Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Palmerston north, New Zealand
Posts: 9,089
When I got pregnant with my younger girl, everyone was like you just pop one out lol I dont care what they say im happy with my two girls, 3 pregancies close together, have to add my Angel baby.
AF 15 Nov 2017 Nz time praying for a rainbow heathy baby <3 All I want for Christmas is a BFP!!

My Ovulation Chart

missed m/c 28 march 2010- Toni 11 weeks CP 11 march 2015- Katie 4 weeks 10 May 2015 Lilly- 4 weeks CP blighted ovum 2017
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March 24th, 2013, 12:04 AM
MommyofAngels1985's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Ohio
Posts: 594
My girls are 19 months apart and I have yet to get any rude comments about how close they are in age. Mostly I get all of the how cute they are and asked how old they are.
Married to Michael since May 14, 2010
Mommy to Sophie Lee Ann, 02-09-11
Mommy to Melody Beatrice Elizabeth, 09-27-12

Mommy to Abigail Sarah Louise, 1-20-2015

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March 25th, 2013, 01:33 PM
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Ms
Posts: 39
Don't worry about what they say. My oldest is 2.5 andi have 15 month old twins. I get all the replies wow you have your hands full. Yes we do but you know what it's a lot of fun. And chaos. We are working on number 4 now.
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June 23rd, 2013, 04:18 AM
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: St. Louis area
Posts: 35
Yeah, especially when they were younger we would get comments all of the time. It bothered me so bad i got angry. We have 5 kids 8 years apart. They are now 6-14 yrs old and we really dont get it as much anymore when we go out...still some but not bad AND the best thing is I dont CARE anymore!!! Comment away people, it doesnt bother me, these are my children I love them, I am sorry if you dont agree with having 5 keep it to yourself kwim lol! Uhh anyway, yep been there
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November 23rd, 2014, 03:17 PM
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 14
You ladies are AWESOME! I.I have been dealing with the same thing. I have 3 kids and my first two are 18 months apart. It took me almost 8 years to get pg with my first baby so naturally we tried when she turned 9 months and it happened right away. I have debating about to have or not to have a fourth baby just because of that even though I feel in my heart it's the right thing to do. Thank you ladies so much for your encouragement. I will definitely be giving them something to talk about!
sarah* likes this.

Last edited by Arli O.; November 23rd, 2014 at 03:23 PM.
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February 23rd, 2015, 09:12 AM
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 12
Most everyone was happy for us. (I have a 5, 4 and 3 year old) My mother in law was the biggest one not pleased (still not sure why). I mean, its not like anyone else was paying for or had to care for our children.
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