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Second baby quilt?

Forum: Closely Spaced Siblings


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September 6th, 2012, 04:05 AM
Laurenj915's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: South Florida
Posts: 3,214
Is there such a thing as second baby guilt? I found out I am pregnant and I am thrilled but I have a 15 monith old. I sat in bed crying last night because I couldn't stop thinking about how much it would disrupt his life. And also how it wouldn't be just me and him all day long anymore.

Expecting a baby girl Nov 4, 2015
Breastfeeding, Cloth Diapering, Babywearing Mama!
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September 6th, 2012, 10:19 AM
mommy2skyty's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 915
Hi there and welcome to our boards! What you are experiencing is totally normal! My second pregnancy was a surprise and the first thing I thought when I saw the positive was "how can I do this and will my daughter think I am replacing her with a new baby." I was soo nervous during my pregnancy about how I was going to handle having 2 kids under 2 and some people told me stories about how hard it would be. Luckily for me my daughter loved her baby brother the minute we brought him home and they are best buddies! My son was an easy baby and my daughter was a wonderful toddler and big sister. The first 3 months were a little physically tiring until I got into a routine but after that it was smooth sailing. I look back and would do it again in a heartbeat because I love the relationship my kids have now and just today is my sons birthday and they are 3 and 4 years old and into similiar activities and have the same friends. I do believe you are only given what you can handle and you will do great!

I also noticed your signature said that you are a breastfeeing advocate which is great! I was able to successfully breastfeed my son for almost 3 years as I just weaned him about a week ago! I know the breastfeeding board has advice for breastfeeding while pregnant.
Kelly and John- Married: Sep 30th, 2006

Skyla Helen- Feb 2nd, 2008
Tyler Lyman- Sep 6th, 2009

Quinn Kayden- Aug 17th, 2013

Happy Easter from my kiddos!

Last edited by mommy2skyty; September 6th, 2012 at 10:22 AM.
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September 6th, 2012, 05:49 PM
Laurenj915's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: South Florida
Posts: 3,214
Thank you, you made me feel better. I'm just going to have to enjoy the heck out of every moment I have alone with my son.

Expecting a baby girl Nov 4, 2015
Breastfeeding, Cloth Diapering, Babywearing Mama!
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September 8th, 2012, 12:41 PM
sugarloafbaby's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,101
I know what you mean and I have totally been there. I was very sad at many moments during my pregnancy with my 2nd, thinking about how my 1st would no longer be the one and only. I was also still breastfeeding and was sad to have to wean her earlier than I wanted bc of my milk drying up. But realize, you are giving your child a sibling, which I think is one of the best gifts to give. I see my girls playing together now and I would not change it ever! They love each other so much, and even though it doesn't seem like it now, your heart will grow room to love another child too!
Mommy to 2 girls , 6/26/10 & 12/31/11

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September 29th, 2012, 04:37 PM
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 16
What you're feeling is totally normal. I was an only child for eight yeas, and while that was nice in some ways, I was so excited when both my mom and stepmom got pregnant at the same time and I had a brother and a sister within three months of each other. All my life, I've wished that my siblings and I were closer in age (like, within a year or two of each other). I also have a sister who's 11 years younger. I love my siblings, but it is only now that we are all adults that we are really starting to get close, because when you're young, even a small age gap makes a big difference, and 8 years put us on totally different planets. So what I'm saying is, your son is ultimately lucky that his little brother or sister will be so close to his age, and it will likely make them closer than if you'd had a second even a year or two down the road. That being said, you obviously love your son very much, so just make sure he knows that you love him and that while you will love the new baby too, there is no way that he or she can ever replace him in your heart. And check out this link for ideas about how to prepare for siblings.
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October 1st, 2012, 11:56 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 1,834
I'm going through a bit of this right now as well. My LO is 16 months. We were planning on trying in December for #2. But you know, you're stupid once and that's all it takes.

I wanted my son to be closer to 2 1/2 than 2 because I wanted to get him close to potty trained if not entirely potty trained. I also wanted him to be more independent and not as mommy needy.

But now I see that this baby will be born 1 month after my son's 2nd birthday and my son is still going to see himself as a baby (wanting to be held and cuddled and enjoyed as a baby, as he will still be). I didn't want to tread on his babyhood.

I'm excited about this new baby and I am only hoping for the very best in this pregnancy but I'm definitely feeling more sad than I expected. Very guilty. And I feel guilty that I feel sad & guilty! This baby deserves all the happiness and excitement as my first one received when we saw the 2 pink lines! *sigh*

We'll get there. 9 months is a looong time. And it's not like the baby will be here TOMORROW, lol.

'Scuse the bad typing, please. 'Breast is Best' but not when browsing the internet!

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