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would you abort if you were raped?

Abortion Debate

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View Poll Results: Would you abort if you were raped?
yes most definitely 93 25.69%
no absolutely not 168 46.41%
not sure 101 27.90%
Voters: 362. You may not vote on this poll

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February 9th, 2008, 12:21 AM
kmath's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I wouldn't. I have been raped, I thought I was pregnant. I made the decision that I was going to have the baby if I was. That decision hasn't changed. I wasn't pregnant thankfully. I would have given the child up for adoption at that time because of circumstances. I don't know if I would now or not.
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February 9th, 2008, 06:57 AM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Few can answer this question with experience. To those that can, I am so sorry you were in that position.

A few years ago, I'd have said yes. Then something happened on 8/24/99...the birth of my first daughter. Now, I can say that the child would be born, and probably lovingly placed for adoption. An adoption, I would hope, that could eventually be open.

I don't believe in making babies pay for the sins of the parent. The father would be the one bearing the sin...not the child.
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February 11th, 2008, 01:37 AM
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I don't know what I'd do. I would want to think long and hard about it before I would abort, but how can you know if you aren't in that situation? I think it would depend on my health first. Does the person who raped me have an STD, AIDS, or any other infection/disease that would get passed to me that would affect the baby? Secondly, how is my mental state? Someone who is raped needs some extreme counseling/understand/support system to help them through such a crazy horrible time. I do not wish any of that upon anyone, but in the event that it should ever happen, it would be hard for me. It really would.
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February 17th, 2008, 10:46 AM
Super Mommy
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I don't believe (as stated in some previous posts) that I am getting on a high horse by saying that I would refuse to get an abortion if I got raped. I'm not trying to be condescending to anyone who has. But the fact is, the baby didn't do a thing wrong! And they are a living person from the moment of conception! I would most likely give the baby up for adoption. An abortion is an abortion no matter what the reason. I'm not saying it would be easy for me. The decision and the pregnancy itself would probably be the most miserable difficult thing I would ever do. But I stand by the fact that the baby did nothing wrong, and therefore does not deserve to be punished. The mother did nothing wrong either, but for ME, in MY opinion I would feel selfish. Extremely selfish.
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February 17th, 2008, 12:56 PM
Niamh ૐ's Avatar Green Mama Goddess
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I think this is a question that, unless actually faced with the decision, it is not possible to answer. First of all, it is impossible to imagine or assume the full scope of how such an event would impact you, physically or emotionally. Second of all, rape is not a cookie cutter crime, it is different for every single victim, from the degree and details of the attack to the recovery (and reporting if applicable) process and the victim's support system.
It is easy to mount the saddle on one's high horse and sanctimoniously proclaim "NO, NEVER!", but I consider it unrealistic, as well as insensitive. To answer the question, without the experience to draw from, you are, perhaps without realizing it, denigrating the victims of rape because the implication that you would have handled it correctly translates to your belief that they weren't strong enough, compounding the guilt and shame that victims already carry with them for a lifetime.
Even as someone who has experienced rape, I could never answer the question for anyone else. I know, had my experience resulted in pregnancy, I would have had an abortion. I cannot, however, speculate on a potential future decision if, God forbid, I were ever raped again because, again, I cannot and would not attempt to imagine every hypothetical detail, with every varying degree of violence and humiliation involved or the impact of the psychological trauma and/or physical injury that may result.
My point is, even if you were reading the graphic details of a violent rape, empathy is possible but the true nature of the experience is unimaginable and it is, therefore, impossible to postulate on the methods and measures that would necessitate your physical and psychological survival.[/b]


I cannot possibly know what I would do in this situation, because, thank the gods, I've never been in this situation. I hope I never have to find out what I'd do.

On one hand I say "yes, I would absolutely have an abortion... I don't want that rapists spawn inside me." But then on the other hand, I may feel like I can handle it and that I could love that child because it is mine. But I have no idea how I would feel. I have no idea if I would have an abortion or not. Like I said, hopefully I'll never find out.
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February 20th, 2008, 05:18 PM
rose198172's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I've been sexually assaulted (not to the point of actual penetration, so I won't call it rape) before, and if it had resulted in a pregnancy, I would not have terminated it. I just couldn't bring myself to do that. It doesn't mean that I think badly of women who have been raped who do choose an abortion, but it's just not something that I could do.
Writer, Navy wife, autistic mom of two autistic kids (E is 6, C is 5).

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February 24th, 2008, 11:47 AM
Airen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I can not answer that unless I am in the circumstance. And I would not pass judgement either way.[/b]
Agreed 100% I wont judge either way. Its your choice. i cant even bare the thought of that unless i was actually there.
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March 14th, 2008, 07:31 AM
TaraJo827's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hello, I'm new here.

I absolutely would not have an abortion. I believe it's always wrong and I wouldn't be able to live with myself. After all, like someone else said, it's my child, too.

The question is is it a human being? Answer: Yes. And it's never OK to kill another person, no matter how much their living upsets you.

It's not like you have to raise it if you really don't want to. It's not a choice between raising the child and killing it. Obviously there are other options. Better to leave it on the doorstep of a hospital or a church than to murder it. You could put the baby up for adoption.

If it happened to me, I'm not sure whether I would raise the child or put him/her up for adoption. I'd be inclined to raising it, but I can't say for sure. I know for sure that I would never abort.

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March 30th, 2008, 02:43 PM
Willowkarr's Avatar Coupon Blogger
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I have been raped, I became pregnant, I would have kept my baby, however, I m/c. TaKasha Jean would have been 14 this year. To answer the question, no, I would not abort if I was raped, I am 100% against abortion!!
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March 30th, 2008, 06:30 PM
crunchymama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I would not have an abortion. I think the fact that I was raped would be enough to deal with. I wouldn't want to add the pain of an abortion. I don't know if I would keep the baby or give it up for adoption. I know I ahve an amazin husband that would fully support any choice I made and would treat the child no different than his own but I don't know if I would take out any of my feelings on the baby and wouldn't want that.
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April 5th, 2008, 09:29 AM
seahorse_3's Avatar I have an oil for that!
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Nope, not me! I wouldn't abort a baby because of someone's pathetic choice of action, it's not it's fault. I wouldn't treat it like a burden either, it would still be my CHILD. A "rape-baby" if you will is no less deserving of life than a hard planned out pregnancy baby.

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April 8th, 2008, 07:42 AM
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I have been raped twice. If I had become pregnant, I know without a doubt that I would have had an abortion. It was hard enough dealing with the trauma (which took me years to deal with), being pregnant would have made me go over the edge mentally. There was no way I would have been able to carry a pregnancy, let alone birth a child that I know with my heart would remind me everyday of the trauma I went through. Call it selfish, whatever you want, but considering I have been raped I know personally how much it screws with you. Pregnancy would have made me lose my mind.
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April 10th, 2008, 09:51 AM
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Hi ladies. I'm a generally political dad, and as such, I know full well that I can only comment on the subject of abortion with detachment that is devoid of the emotion associated with the topic because I do not have the anatomy to experience the crime that is here being discussed. I fully realize how significant that emotion is to the issue, and I fully respect that so please don't take my strictly rational approach to the topic as any kind of judgement upon anyone who might feel differently for any reason whatsoever.

On the direct question of this subject, I don't think I have anything to add that hasn't already been said. My view on the topic is that I am of the pro-life viewpoint that abortion as birth control is inappropriate, but I acknowledge that it should be a medical tool for use when a doctor determines a medical necessity. And it may well be that such medical necessity in the case of a rape resulting in pregnancy may exist for some victims due to the scars that result, emotional physical or otherwise.

What I do want to add is this - My view is that a pregnancy that results from rape and goes to term is the responsibility of the rapist. Rape is a violent crime. If somebody was to break my arm, they should rightfully be responsible for my medical expenses, for compensating my pain and suffering and for any expenses including legal, time off work and otherwise. It should be no different with rape, and when it results in pregnancy that compensation should cover the pain and suffering of the mother through the pregnancy and child support regardless of whether the child is raised by the mother or adoptive parents.

Above all, let me emphasize that at issue to me in this question is the wrongness of rape. Way worse than an icy sidewalk or a spill from a hot cup of coffee.
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April 11th, 2008, 03:02 PM
Sonya77's Avatar Hip Rockin' Mama
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I would take Plan B, abstain from sex with my husband (as if I'd even be interested so soon after that horrible incident), and if I did in fact become pregnant, have an abortion. My mental well-being comes first in that situation. I realize there would be a slim chance that my husband would be the father, but I am not willing to go through 9 months of misery and mental torture to have the DNA test.

Call me selfish if that makes you feel better. I call myself a realist.

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April 16th, 2008, 10:26 PM
rose198172's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I have been raped twice. If I had become pregnant, I know without a doubt that I would have had an abortion. It was hard enough dealing with the trauma (which took me years to deal with), being pregnant would have made me go over the edge mentally. There was no way I would have been able to carry a pregnancy, let alone birth a child that I know with my heart would remind me everyday of the trauma I went through. Call it selfish, whatever you want, but considering I have been raped I know personally how much it screws with you. Pregnancy would have made me lose my mind.[/b]
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Like I said in a previous post, I don't think *I* could have (I've been sexually assaulted but never raped), but I would NEVER say that it wasn't medically necessary b/c of the mother's mental state to choose to have an abortion. And I don't think it's selfish.
Writer, Navy wife, autistic mom of two autistic kids (E is 6, C is 5).

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April 21st, 2008, 02:58 PM
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I don't honestly think anyone could know. Rape is so traumatic and unthinkable that no one can understand what its like until they have been there....and decisions that we think we would or would not make go in the oppisite direction sometimes during trauma.

I would likely abort. When I have a child I want it to be with a person I love who has the ability to be a loving and caring parent. I want my child to have an involved father so he/she doesn't have any pain or longing or regrets about their father. I had an emotionally absent and abusive father. I live with that pain everyday and I won't choose (so long as I have a choice) to bring a child into the world who will be scared by the actions of the other parent for the rest of their lives. Lying to a person...a human being...about their heritage isn't ethical to me so there is no "hide the rape" from the baby. People have a fundamental right to full ownership of their heritage and person hood and part of that includes their genetic information.
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April 25th, 2008, 08:31 PM
Little Mrs Sunshine
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i have been a victim of rape and I would not have had an abortion had I become pregnant at that time. i feel too passionately about too many other thigns to have even developed a full opinion on abortion. My passions are with the children already here, though I will say there is no reason I can think of that I would be okay with having an abortion and it bugs me when people have one and talk about it casually like its the same thing as going to get a pedicure or get their hair cut.
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May 7th, 2008, 09:50 PM
Marian_the_Librarian's Avatar Member
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Is this debate still open?

If I were raped, I would *hopefully* seek medical attention including the "morning after" pill. I realize that that is debatable in and of itself, and I'm surprised no one commented on the one previous mention of it.

If for some reason that failed or wasn't available to me, I have not a clue what I would do, really, but I can speculate that if I was single and had no other children, I might have the baby, although I doubt that I'd want to be the one to raise it. As it stands, though, I'm married and have other children, and I could see the decision to carry a baby conceived under those circumstances as something that would have the potential to destroy my marriage and family. I don't know that I'd be willing to risk that for something that happened to me that was totally outside of my control. That said, these thoughts are VERY hypothetical, and if I were actually faced with the situation, any one thing that I'm not considering could make me act differently than the way I *think* I might act now.

I actually know someone who's raising a child conceived by rape. They seem allright, and I think what she's doing is commendable and inspiring. I don't think it's right for everyone, but it gives me hope for those who do choose to have a baby under those circumstances.

FTR, I'm pro-choice.

"You did what you knew how to do, and when you knew better, you did better."
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