Log In Sign Up

Another O/T Post

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to [email protected].

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To TTC-OM Graduates LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
July 21st, 2010, 09:58 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4,033
It has been a rough couple of weeks. I have been lurking around more than I have actually been posting. I suppose the best place to start is at the beginning. . . .
Mike being out of a job is actually the thing that has made things roughest on me. I have been fighting almost constant back pain since Katie's birth and being on my feet at work, especially on the day when I unload the truck and stock the shelves, does not make me feel any better. He sees that I am in pain and it bothers me. He keeps putting in for jobs, but thus far nothing has panned out. The job he checked on today (got the lead from my sister's DF) may turn out to be an over the road job which is the last thing either of us want since it would require him to be away from Katie and I for as much as 21 days at a time. We talked before we got married when he was OTR that long haul was not a good choice for a husband and dad. I have watched two of my uncles' marriages crumble from temptations both from on the road as well as at home.
I had actually considered suggesting he break down and get a job at the prison with my sister's DF. I mean I managed to do it for more than 6 years so it isn't like an impossible job to do. Losing two of the guys I worked directly alongside changed my mind about that. One of them was in his 50s and died of a massive stroke (caused by poor diet, lack of exercise, poor sleep habits. . . all caused by years of working graveyard and doing nothing but eating, working and sleeping a few hours here and there) while the other was barely 31 and had just recovered from a bout with MRSA (or at least we thought he was recovered) only to go to the local hospital and be dead in a matter of hours on Monday. The stress of losing these two men has started to take its toll on my sister's DF because one of them was his best friend on the shift and the other had been his mentor when he first started.
I am off work tomorrow and then I work at least 9 days without a break (although some of the shifts I am scheduled to work are only 4-5 hours long) including a 13 hour shift on Saturday that is wedged between two 5 hour shifts. I am just not sure how much more I can take between the physical pain I am experiencing along with the guilt for not being there for all the moments in Katie's life. I missed her first tooth being discovered, her learning to wink and lots of other 'firsts'. I want DH to find a job, but I want him to be able to be with Katie and I more than just a couple of days a month.
Sorry I am rambling, but I had to drop this somewhere and it seems that you all are the ones who I feel most comfortable unloading my feelings with.
Thanks for letting me talk.
Love you all

Reply With Quote
July 22nd, 2010, 07:38 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 2,797
Ah Beth, that makes me sad. I hate to think of you in physical pain. I know how much you love your little Katie and hate being away from her. I know you've said how hard it has been for Mike finding a job. Things are pretty rough out there right now. Andy is having to travel for work also. He is gone Monday-Friday and only sees me and the kids on the weekends. It stinks. And yes, it is harder on a marriage. I miss nightly dinners with him and help with the kids, not to mention just spending time together. I also wish we had another option, right now we just don't. Sorry to talk about me, this post actually is for you, but I understand .

This is some stuff I came up with, sorry if it's not helpful. Would it be possible to cut back on your hours at work and maybe babysit a few kids during the day? That might be physically easier on you and allow more time with Katie. I know money is tight with Mike being out of work, but maybe consider it.

Is there any job Mike could find that would be part time right now? I know full time would be great, but maybe working for cash for someone. Are there any farms in the area you live in that are looking for help for summer help?

One other thing that I did when Daisy and Veronica were small and I lived in town was having a paper route. I'd put them in the stroller and away we'd go. I didn't make much money, but it enabled me to stay with them and paid our utilities and phone bill. Winter was tougher, but I got good exercise and left the kiddos at home.

One other thing you could maybe try to do (I'm sure you've tried, but I'll throw it out there anyway) is cut down some expense. I thought you had mentioned applying for WIC. Can you also apply for medical help? Some friends of ours also use a program that you pay a minimal amount to and than they ship you lots of groceries. So you end up saving quite a bit of money on food and they really like it. It's also not a govt program, but is run by a nonprofit I believe. I could find out the name and contact info for you if you'd like. I wish you lived closer, I would gladly share our garden produce and meat from our farm.

We've donated to Energyshare (that's what it's called in Wisconsin) before and it helps people who have low incomes pay their heat bills. My Grandma used it and it had a back up, so she had to apply early in the year. It might be worth looking into for winter.

Another thought. Put an ad in the paper, or spread the word at church, but see if any elderly person needs a little home health care. You could help them clean, shop, cook, mow lawn (I'm sure Mike gladly would) grocery shop for them, or help with transportation for them. I know before my Grandma died, we had a hard time finding someone to do those chores that wasn't so high priced we couldn't afford it. Sometimes older people just like companionship, so her aide also visited with her while she was there.

I know you probably don't want to rely on the govt Beth, but these programs might be a good bridge until you get on your feet. See if there is anything else that you qualify for. It's what we pay taxes for. I'd much rather help hard working Americans than have our govt wasting it

I wish I had some other thoughts for you Beth. I will add you and Mike and Katie to my prayer list and I'll try and think today of anything else.

But I can personally tell you. If you can avoid Mike being on the road, try and do it. It's tough being a wife at home while your hubby is gone. I'm thankful I have a terrific marriage and hubby, but it still is tough. He calls probably 6 times a day and we chat, but it's not the same. It stinks sleeping alone at night.

Hugs to you my Dear! I'm thinking of you.
Jesus loving, homeschooling, gardening lover, devoted wife to a wonderful hubby and 10 kids, ages 13 down to 12.5 months . We are expecting number 11 due January 1st, 2015.

Reply With Quote
July 22nd, 2010, 07:54 AM
*SamF*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 16,621
Send a message via Yahoo to *SamF*
Big Beth!!

I hope Mike finds something soon, and it's something he can be happy doing.

How is the insurance situation? Have you been able to get any help? I know I have had a lot of pain in my hips and back and finally getting some relief with a chiro. But I know without insurance of some type its hard. I put it off for a long time because of the co-pays which I pay every time I go in and I go in 2-3 times a week right now.

Where in NC are you?

Reply With Quote
July 23rd, 2010, 03:55 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,389
on the back pain Beth. I cannot add any advice to the great posts from Mari and Sam...I hope something comes through for dh soon (and hoping for you that it's not long-haul).

Thanks to Meganpixel for my beautiful siggie!
Reply With Quote
July 23rd, 2010, 08:36 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4,033
Thanks for the replies. I am noting the ideas down and going to see if we can make any of them work.

Reply With Quote

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:33 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0