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Tired of the opinions (long rant)

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September 22nd, 2011, 10:00 AM
feythful's Avatar Proud Dec '13 DDC Co-host
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 4,923
Sorry this is so long. I don't have anywhere else to vent like this.

I'm so tired of others telling me what I should be doing. I hate that I tend to not stand up to people in person and so my reasons come across as excuses instead of reasons. Guess I should tell the situation first. I am going to be scheduling my second c-section in a week and I can't tell you how many people have the nerve to tell me I should consider a VBAC. I don't want to. I've looked into it and just don't feel the need to have that "natural experience" that people desire. I was never disappointed in the c-section and it turned out to be for the best.

I was induced with Emily and "labored" (I say that because it wasn't bad at all even with the max dose of pitocin) for 24 hours with no change. Emily stayed way high and they didn't want to break my water for fear of a prolapsed chord turning the scheduled c-section into an emergency, so even though I was terrified, I agreed to the c-section. After they delivered, the doctor came in to talk to me. He was so sweet and told me that Emily had had the chord wrapped around her neck several times due to a very long chord and he's glad that I chose the c-section since it could have been dangerous in a vaginal birth. (Interestingly enough, My husband's cousin is developmentally delayed due to a long chord wrapped around his neck several times that denied him oxygen during birth) I've had some xrays and things done since then and had them sent to the OB for reference. He told me during my last appointment that I have very thick pelvic bones and the opening is very small. He admitted that I would probably have difficulty giving birth to a baby over 5.5lbs vaginally. Anyway, for those reasons, why go through the trouble to have a VBAC only to end up having a c-section anyway or risk another long chord being wrapped around my sweet LO's neck.

I'm sick of people telling me how AMAZING their natural birth was and how I should consider it because it could be my last chance...blah blah blah. I hate to tell them, but my birth was equally amazing. Jeff and I both cried when we heard Emily's first cry and I was so blessed to have a healthy beautiful baby. Things did not go the way I thought they would, but it all turned out for the best. My MIL had the nerve to tell me that I was depriving my child of natural processes by choosing to have a c-section. There's something about the pregnancy label that makes people feel entitled to say whatever they want no matter how rude or insensitive it is and I'm about over it. Thanks for reading through this whole thing if you made it to the end.
Wife to sweet husband Jeff and mother to 2 beautiful girls: Emily (2) and Jocelyn (1).

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September 22nd, 2011, 12:30 PM
Dizzi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Mustang, OK
Posts: 2,675
Grr! I agree with you, there's something about being pregnant that make people feel like they have the right to give their opinions when they're unsolicited.

I actually just wrote a full on rant about people chucking their "Well I did it and my kid's fine" crap at other people in my blog lol

I think as long as YOU are comfortable with your decision to go ahead with another scheduled C-Section then who is anyone else to say anything? The best and most important thing is that both you and baby come through the delivery safe and healthy! It doesn't really matter how that's accomplished, IMO.

As for your MIL - wow! What nerve! I'm sorry people aren't being more supportive.. especially family!

I understand not standing up to people about stuff, too .. I'm really bad about donning a fake smile and nodding my way through opinions instead of just telling them to back off.

Mom: Tasia

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September 22nd, 2011, 01:52 PM
TheOnlyPink's Avatar .... In a house of blue!
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 9,071
omg hun i am so angry that people are being like that to you! apart from it being absolutely NONE of their business, its a decision you have made on the advice of a DOCTOR. I would tell the nay sayers that you have taken medical advice on it, and until any of them have been through med school, you arent accepting other opinions on the matter. I know its hard to actually say it, but jeeze, theres no excuse for that kind of rudeness. Yours and your babys safety are your priority, not having a birth experience that you arent too fussed about in the first place.

Hugs hun.

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September 22nd, 2011, 07:55 PM
feythful's Avatar Proud Dec '13 DDC Co-host
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 4,923
Thanks Ladies! With Emily being my first everyone has had their opinions on how I should or should not be doing various things with her. Most of the time I'm able to brush it off and move on, but now I'm being hit double with child rearing, birthing advice, and breastfeeding advice (because I was unsuccessful at breastfeeding due to a previous breast reduction). I'm just at my limit and need to stay inside and stop answering my phone for a day or two to get some peace. People just need to learn to worry about themselves and get out of everyone else's business. They don't seem to understand that if everyone only worried about their own business, we'd practically have world peace.
Wife to sweet husband Jeff and mother to 2 beautiful girls: Emily (2) and Jocelyn (1).

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September 23rd, 2011, 10:59 AM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: SW FL
Posts: 8,785
**hugs** I had the opposite experience when I was choosing VBAC, which never happened, but everybody felt the need to tell me that my uterus was going to explode and everybody in a 20 mile radius would die. My son died anyways, so I hope they feel good about it. (not due to VBAC). Tell them to shove their opinion up their *****. That is what I do.
Leann <3 Hector
My trio: Alyssa 7, Tristan 4.75, Gavin 1.5

I am a mixture of all that and a bag of chips... IJS

Rest In Peace Jennifer <3

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October 1st, 2011, 08:35 PM
Conners Mommie +2's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Easley, SC
Posts: 9,302
Everyone's entitled to their opinions.....and people always seem to think they know what's best for someone else when someone's pregnant.

And Tasia, why do I have a feeling that your blog was spun off from a thread in the ddc??

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October 2nd, 2011, 12:36 AM
Posts: n/a
Girl, everyone always will have something to say, even when it's not wanted nor appreciated. I am like you, I cannot stand when people put in there "two sense" and it does not even help and or make YOU feel like what YOU decided to do was wrong. Most of the time I wont say anything either, I will vent to DH and the problem will never be solved ya know what I mean? lol

And with pregnancy every mom knows what BEST...for everyone...sad but true. This is why I dont talk to my mom that much about this pregnancy or my best friend from back home. Everything I say is "wrong" and they tell me how it should be done. Irritating!

No matter how your beautful baby comes into this world, its still a birth and you are still amazing to have done it. Who cares what people say! Do what makes YOU comfortable!
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October 2nd, 2011, 01:03 AM
Dizzi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Mustang, OK
Posts: 2,675
Originally Posted by Conners Mommie +2 View Post
And Tasia, why do I have a feeling that your blog was spun off from a thread in the ddc??
lol The entire blog or just a certain post?

I just needed a new blog since my last one was eaten. All of the childishness and chaoticness going on in my life may have something to do with the title for sure, though
Mom: Tasia

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