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June 11th, 2010, 02:28 PM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: I'm a husker girl :)
Posts: 16,336
Was your family supportive of your birth wishes?

Was there anything they encouraged you to do?

Anything they disagreed with?

Maverick Jude
December 9, 2013
5:20PM 8lb3oz 20.5"
Hospital water birth
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June 12th, 2010, 12:09 PM
Isaeph's Avatar Jennifer the Momma
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Boise!
Posts: 16,196
My husband was supportive of everything...MY parents however, not so much. I wanted to go natural with ds1, but my (evil, abusive) mother took that as a pot shot against her and thought I was stupid for wanting to try (and I failed, a fact that she delighted in). My parents were MAJORLY upset when I uc'd dd. My dad said if he had been there (they lived out of state, my mother was up visitting and my dad arrived a few days later) he'd have carried me out over his shoulder to the hospital and dh said "over my dead body". We didn't talk about ds2's birth, but I'm sure they weren't happy with me uc'ing again. They'll never know anything about this new pg and birth God willing.

MIL wasn't unsupportive of my desires with ds1, but she didn't understand why I'd want to go through it natural. She's never said anything negative about us uc'ing.
"Unborn children should be welcomed in life and protected in law." George W. Bush

Crunchy, conservative, Christian, homeschooling, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, not-vaccinating, cloth-diapering, baby-wearing, ec-ing, unassisted-birthing, breastmilk donating, Momma to 7yo, 4yo, 2yo, 2mo.
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June 12th, 2010, 03:30 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 7,051
Nobody seems to really talk to me much about what my thoughts are on birth, so I never had anyone judging my desires while I'm pregnant.

My son's birth was medicated (pitocin, epidural) my daughter's birth was natural. So anyone who has an opinion probably dislikes how I did at least one of my births.

I had my son about two years before my two SILs had their first babies. Both of them wanted a natural birth when they got pregnant. And I know for a fact that one of them looked at my first birth and thought that it was the exact opposite of what she wanted. I felt very judged by her; she's one of those natural birth wanting moms who give all natural birthing moms a bad rap.

My husband was the only one that knew that I was planning on using self hypnosis the 2nd time. Nobody ever asked me what I was going to do, and I didn't feel the need to tell everyone I knew that I was possibly going to do it naturally (unlike my SIL). To be honest, I was never interested in a natural birth until I found out about HypnoBabies. I never would have considered it if HypnoBabies didn't present itself as a way to do childbirth without pain. My main motivation for doing it was to have a coping technique in place for laboring at home. I knew that since my husband would have to drop our son off at his parents while I was in labor (which takes 40-60 minutes to do round trip), that I would need to (1) be absolutely sure I was in labor and (2) not go off to the hospital at the first sign of pain. HypnoBabies attracted me as a way to be able to be comfortable while laboring at home.

So yeah, the only one that knew anything about my plans either time was my husband. He lets me do whatever I think is best. I felt judged after the fact with my first birth, but never before.
Mama to an elementary school boy, kindergarten girl, and my miracle toddler girl.
Three 10w losses (11/2010 + 8/2011 + 10/2014)
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June 12th, 2010, 04:23 PM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: I'm a husker girl :)
Posts: 16,336
sam was very pro natural childbirth before i even brought it up - he actually brought it up one day after our friend had a medicated/epi/c-section birth. he was a little iffy on me going to a midwife, but after he met with them and saw what they were all about, he was totally cool with it.

his parents didnt really care one way or the other, and my family didnt know i was preg until the day of my ER induction - sam called them in a panic, much to my dismay

Maverick Jude
December 9, 2013
5:20PM 8lb3oz 20.5"
Hospital water birth
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June 12th, 2010, 08:03 PM
JulieMc's Avatar Loving my babies. :)
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 9,004
I wanted to go natural, but the evil pitocin made it so bad that I just couldn't deal anymore, so I got an epidural. Pretty much everyone badgered me for wanting to go without an epi, and pretty much seemed please when in the end I got one. GRR! I did very well without one for much of the time, and if not for the pitocin, I think I could have done without. Really I thought it was none of anyone's business to begin with. Like who goes around asking "so are you going to get the epidural?" seriously not cool.

Also, my mom and sister are totally ignorant about having a vaginal birth. I am the oldest and was born via c/s, so she had my brother and sister via c/s as well. My sister got induced early (for no reason) and it "failed", so she got a c/s and had one with all three of her kids. So I got a lot of really dumb questions from them..."like how can you walk?" "do you have hemorrhoids now?" Umm...wow.

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June 13th, 2010, 08:56 AM
WhoaMomma!'s Avatar Danielle
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 8,446
My family wasn't supportive of my wishes AT ALL. Everyone had an opinion. My mother - the "epidurals are for surgery, not birth" Queen TOLD ME TO MY FACE: "Honey, you can't go natural. You're not strong enough." So every patient you ever saw was presumed strong enough until proven otherwise, but your own daughter is not?! F you very much, Mommy dearest.

My sister was pissed that I didn't get induced on my due date so that her travel arrangements were simpler bc she wanted to be here for the birth.

My other siblings didn't care and didn't ask. My SIL was very supportive until the birth of her son - 2 months before my due date. It was her second delivery and she ended up having a shoulder dystocia, forcep delivery, with 4th degree tearing and a vertical tear that extended thru her urethra into the clitoris! And then for the rest of my pregnancy she was BITTER with birth in general and would say things like "you can do everything right and still end up with one gaping hole where a vagina, rectum, and urethra used to be. Just do whatever. You're screwed either way." Gee......um......thanks.

My DH was very supportive (though he laughed at me - LAUGHED AT ME - when I originally told him what I wanted) after going to our CB class with the midwives and hearing what they do and why they do it. I entered my birth experience feeling like I needed to prove something to him bc he had laughed at me. That wasn't really the right mindset for me at all, though to his credit he was literally the only person who supported me throughout the process.

And my in-laws didn't have much to say other than condescending remarks like "yeah we will see if you still don't want an epidural when you start throwing up from the pain" Niiiiiiiiiiiiiice.

My daughter is perfect, but her birth was not. If you or someone you love is struggling to cope with a traumatic childbirth experience, please visit http://www.solaceformothers.org/
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June 14th, 2010, 04:15 PM
Cheet_oh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 9,888
DH was supportive in everything I did. My mom has always been 100% supportive of my decisions. She just hates to see me in pain (her birth was traumatic, no doctor assisting, all natural and her water never broke...I came out in the sac).

MIL knows better than to say anything

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June 18th, 2010, 10:30 AM
Amanda_Marie's Avatar Mommy to Owen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 4,186
Was your family supportive of your birth wishes? totally

Was there anything they encouraged you to do? Nope, they wanted me to do what I felt comfortable doing

Anything they disagreed with? not at all

Thank you Tasha_Mae for my beautiful siggy!
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June 19th, 2010, 11:09 AM
LJD3Tdance's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Eagle, Idaho
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Was your family supportive of your birth wishes? I'll just answer for the most recent and say yes, mostly.

Was there anything they encouraged you to do? Not really.

Anything they disagreed with? Not really.

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June 21st, 2010, 10:55 AM
New_England_Girl's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Chilly New England
Posts: 6,767
Both my family and DH's family were supportive. They all know that I'm very strong-willed, so if they disagreed there wasn't going to be any changing my mind, so they left me alone. I did get one "You'll want the epidural when you feel labor" comments from Jaysen's aunt, but 2 completely unmedicated births later she's given up on that
Hi, I'm Sara. I used to post here a lot when I was having the kids, but life got busy and it's been years since I was around. Now I'm back, and happy to be here.

Married to my best friend for a decade.
Mom to:

Cassidy, 6.5 yrs. Born 10/23/07, 7 pounds 10 ounces, 20 in.

Joel, 4.75 yrs. Born 6/23/09, 9 pounds 12 ounces, 21 in.

Timothy, 2 yrs. Born 3/20/12, 9 pounds 4 ounces, 22.5 in.

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