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Insane Fear

Forum: Labor and Childbirth


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  • 1 Post By HappyHippy
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December 12th, 2010, 09:55 PM
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 16
I am completely afraid of going into Labor. I would like to have a vaginal birth, however I've had two c-sections because of this fear. What's the worst thing you have to deal with when in labor? Like I said, I have never experienced it because my two previous were scheduled. Thanks!
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December 13th, 2010, 08:20 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 7,051
What is it that you are afraid of? If you can figure out what aspect you're afraid of, we can tell you more about that specific part of labor.

I didn't think there was anything that bad about labor. I guess I would say the worst part is early labor when you're at home wondering if it's the real thing and if it's time to go in.
Mama to an elementary school boy, kindergarten girl, and my miracle toddler girl.
Three 10w losses (11/2010 + 8/2011 + 10/2014)
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December 13th, 2010, 08:35 PM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: I'm a husker girl :)
Posts: 16,336
I think being afraid of labor is normal! I think it really is more anticipation than fear though - labor is a normal part of what your body was built to do. Are you afraid of the pain? Afraid of the spontaneity? Afraid of something else? Like Silver said, it's important to acknowledge WHAT you're afraid of, and work on educating yourself on that aspect. I think the more you know, the more confident you feel. This is a great website to really take your education to the next level.

That being said, I have heard that women who have VBAC/VBA2C feel more liberated, and powerful than they ever thought imaginable, and that the VBAC is a very healing experience!

Maverick Jude
December 9, 2013
5:20PM 8lb3oz 20.5"
Hospital water birth
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December 14th, 2010, 04:04 AM
Mamma to Jacob & Summer
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 217
My biggest fears...

Well, I was dumb and went ahead and watched all those pregnancy shoes on T.V.
I'm getting induced and there are many things that have been worrying me, definitely stuff I don't want happening.

There was one girl on T.V. who went into labor and it was all quick up until she was fully dilated and ready to push. She pushed for about an hour and nothing was happening so she needed to get an emergency C-section. I'm DEADLY afraid of getting a c-section. I've never had surgery and I really DON'T want to get cut open. I'm afraid of every part of it, from the preparation to the healing. My stomach twists even from the thought.

Another fear I've been having, I absolutely don't want a natural birth. I plan on getting an epidural ASAP. One girl I heard had to get her epidural stopped due to long labor and she was forced to deliver naturally. If it comes down to it, I'm afraid that I most likely won't be able to do that, and again, thats where the c-section comes in.

I'm also afraid of tearing and an episiotomy, but not so much as the other two. I'll totally deal and not complain if I need to get the episiotomy cause either way I'll probably be stitched up and there is just nothing I can do about that.

I'm terrified. Everyday I get more and more scared. Sorry for the long post.

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January 17th, 2011, 12:22 PM
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 4
I'm JUST as scared as you. This is my first pregnancy and I literally start to shake when I picture labor and birth. I am so scared and hate pain. IDK what to do about it!
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January 17th, 2011, 01:38 PM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Pavia, Italy
Posts: 5,959
What are you afraid of? Pain? The unknown of labor?

For majority of labors it is pretty straight forward. You will have contractions that will get closer together as you get closer to birth. The contractions shouldnt' be painful. They should be like menstraul cramps. Once you hit transition they'll be painful, but not the kind of pain you get when stubbing your toe, or a toothache. It's a whole different kind of pain and it's more intense then it is painful. There are ways you can naturally work with the pain. You can move how your body feels is right, you can take a shower or get into water, you can get a massage, etc. These things will not take away that pain, but it will help you manage the pain. The pain is a crucial part of birth. The pain sends signals to your brain to tell your body what to do and to release certain hormones that not only help you out, but it helps your baby out as well. If you take medication it will stop those signals and can make it harder for your baby to cope. However, taking medication is a personal choice, and if you feel it's right for you then you should have it. After transition your body may take a break. It might be a minute or 20 minutes. For me it was about 15 minutes. Then your body will start to push the baby out. For me it was involuntary. I didn't have to push, it just did it on it's own. Pushing didn't hurt, and I stood to puch my baby out. It had a burning sensation as the head came about because my vagina was now stretched to the max, but that lasted only a few seconds and then it didn't burn anymore. For my first child I pushed for 2 hours, which is pertty normal and can be longer if you're laying. For my second child I pushed for 50 minutes.
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Started off 2013 homebirthing suprise twins Fia Celesta & Maddalena Isabella
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July 13th, 2011, 09:37 PM
jlg123's Avatar Ecstatic mommy-to-be
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 288
I have a crazy fear too! I'm so scared of the pain but mostly of tearing. I've heard horror stories about tears and episiotomies that make me so frightened. I'm considering talking to my doc about an elective c section because I'm so scared but then that has a whole different set of risks. I wish there was an easier way.
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July 17th, 2011, 12:54 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,300
I used to be afraid of childbirth(ok I still am, but it's better).
What helped me was to educate myself on birth. In addition to tons of books, movies and You Tube I also took a 12 week long Brio Birth class with my husband. Talking openly with other woman including my midwife and doula about birth have helped as well.
Oh and DON'T watch those stupid Baby Story type shows on TV! Those scare the crap out of me until I remember that their entire purpose is to create drama for an audience. If they showed more standard births(such as those on You Tube) they would lose tons of viewers because honestly a lot of births are kinda dull.
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July 20th, 2011, 08:56 PM
JulieMc's Avatar Loving my babies. :)
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 9,004
Your best bet is to stop watching the baby shows, they only want drama. And stop reading all the horror story births. Read about the process and what to expect. Learn how to deal with labor pains even if you plan to get an epidural right away - things don't always go as planned. Know all your options, be prepared for anything. Educate yourself. I think being educated on what happens and your options and rights can help to have a positive birth experience....

Natural childbirth really isn't that bad. I know to someone who hasn't had a baby, it sounds horrible. But natural things kick in to minimize the pain...a head popping through there sounds awful, but it hurts for like 1/2 a second then your body natural numbs you and you don't feel the intense pain you'd think. If you force pushing, you're more likely to tear...so if you're not feeling it, don't force it..no matter what the doctors or nurses tell you. With my first I was induced and I eventually got an epidural...I couldn't feel much so they told me when to push. I got a 2nd degree tear (it sounds bad, but it wasn't that bad). My second baby I had all natural (no epi, no drugs, no IVs..)..my body did the pushing itself..I never had to force myself to push or anything....it was all involuntary...no tears. If you go against what is natural, you're more likely to have "issues", so avoid the interventions you can and listen to your body.
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July 29th, 2012, 09:59 PM
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 12
When the labour starts, just tell your self...this is hell...but it will be over soon and then all the pain will be gone...and think of the little treasure you are creating!
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July 30th, 2012, 12:33 AM
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 79
I understand that but I think we only have to bear with it. That's how woman grows.
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August 12th, 2012, 10:54 AM
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: MI
Posts: 41
its scary and nothing anyone will tell you will take it away. however once it starts you feel better but i was scared with big contractions thinking omg this pain gets worse. but after its all over with, you think wow, i just accomplished the most amazing thing in the world.
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March 17th, 2013, 01:29 PM
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 106
Please, everyone who is scared...stop watching the videos of when things go wrong. You can literally scare yourself into things going wrong because the mind is such a powerful thing.

Get some dvds on natural birthing with midwives and watch them. There are so many women who deal with labour beautifully and naturally, it will make you cry because it seems so right and so wonderful. It obviously hurts, but watching women follow their animal instincts and deal with it in different ways (swaying, on hands and knees, rolling hips in circles, walking, etc) and then seeing the looks on their faces when their babies are laid on their chests...it's amazing. A few of THOSE types of videos and you won't be able to wait for labour. Help yourself form a positive and powerful image of what labour will be like.

I'm struggling with this right now because the birth of my first child was a whole host of unnecessary interventions, and I'm having to work through the fear that it will be the same this time around. I'm trying to replace my awful memories with visions of what birth can and should be when it is respected. We can all do this!
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