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Cant decide on birth partners!

Forum: Labor and Childbirth


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May 10th, 2011, 12:53 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,341
Hello! Im currently almost 22weeks pregs. My first DD came at 35 weeks so... its possible I dont have the full time left. I got pregnant unplanned and after my marriage broke down (not with my DD's dad) so am a single pregnant mom. Last time it was easy. I only wanted/needed my husband with me. There was no deciding or decision to be made. Some others expressed interest but I didnt want anyone else.
This time round I dont have a partner and I feel so alone. My mum has volunteered but I am not close to my mum at all and she's very annoying, negative and stressy. I dont want her anywhere near! My sister is great but lives further away and has been battling cancer and has black outs and her own problems. A friend has volunteered but she has three kids (and is single mom) so I cant see her being able to drop everything and come. Plus I just dont FEEL like I wanted any of the above people with me during my vulnerable time.
My best friend - I want him there. But hes a gay guy that I have feelings for and he was very nearly the father of this baby as we fooled around for a couple of months. He backed off when he felt I was getting to attached emotionally So although I feel he is the only one I want with me I dont think he will actually do it or if its a good idea even. Sometimes it upsets me more for him to be around reminding me that I like him but he cant be mine yet he is like a father to my DD and in our lives so strongly.
So.. perhaps stubbonly... I feel like if I cant have him I dont want nobody with me. I do want my daughter with me though (she will be 5 by the due date). But the midwives say she isnt allowed to be in the delivery room at the hospital. So Im thinking of a home birth but I am still supposed to have an adult to be with her which leads me back to the question of who I want to be around during my most vulnerable but special time. I feel so alone.. but I know its me being stubbon not wanting the help thats offered. I want what cant be. A loving partner to support me...
Jo xxx

Seperated June 2010 from my husband. One daughter DOB 26/07/2006. BFP 06/01/2011, due september but 'high risk' for premature birth.

Hi. Im Jolene. 31 years old. I suffered three years of a short luteal phase and didnt think I could get pregnant again without medical assistance but fell pregnant by accident and naturally. I am really happy and excited to be having a baby although knowing Im going it alone this time is a bit daunting and scary!
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May 10th, 2011, 01:18 PM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Pavia, Italy
Posts: 5,959
You can hire a Doula, they are great labor partners. Not only will you not be alone, but you'll have someone to help you change positions and manage pain.

A Doula does both hospital and home births.
Mama to G, L & twins F & M
Started off 2013 homebirthing suprise twins Fia Celesta & Maddalena Isabella
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