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need your help, old doctor vs new doctor (m/c mentioned)

Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss


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  • 1 Post By miniRazz

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September 24th, 2012, 06:49 PM
mrskristinmack's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 811
Here is my background for my advice: I have really liked my OB. she didn't deliver my girls (that OB retired) but love her for my regular GYN sutff. when I found out I was pregnant I was scared of a miscarriage, guess I just knew from the start it wasn't right. I delivered my first at 37 wks (not really early) and my 2nd at 33 weeks (very early,NICU and all). So naturally I was worried about future babies. My girls are 8 and 10 so been a bit since I have been pregnant.

I wasn't happy with how she handled my m/c. she kept trying to backdate me even though I knew 100% when we conceived as we only did it during the fertile window and didn't afterwards due to painful cysts I had. We (me and DH) just felt whole process was dragged out & we had to ask for beta tests & then she finally agreed no baby, even after 4 ultrasounds over course of 5 wks that only showed growing sac. Even u/s techs had it written all over faces at 3rd appt that something wasn't right. Had D&C, got terrible infection, admitted to hospital. I finally saw my doc today for post-op (I put it off for a few weeks cause I just didn't want to go to office & see pregnant girls ya know?).

I wanted to know how she would treat next pregnany if we r blessed enough and she said no different. I could do beta tests for a couple wks if it made me feel better, but no early u/s at 5-6 wks. she would go as early as 7 wks (her standard 1st u/s is 8 wks). I asked about progesterone, she said no, didnt see a need for it. She did say once HB was found I could come each week to get one if it made feel better, she was totally ok with that. I then asked if I would be high risk due to preterm last baby and now this loss, she said no. She would send me to high risk dr for MFM u/s at 16 weeks.

I disagree and I know I'm not a doctor, but everything I read on the boards and other sites says Yes, I would be. I see other girls posting that their docs were so compassionate after just one loss and did u/s at 5-6 wks. she keeps saying u cant see HB until n7 wks, but again all girls in my original DDC clubs saw their babies and HB's at 5-6 wks. I'm not trying to be a high risk, but I think my care should be elevated due to past right??

Sorry for going on and on,, but you ladies always have great advice and make me feel better. I did make appt with another OB for a consultation. I just want to be prepared if we do end up pregnant this cycle which we will be trying this week as I should ovulate sometime this weekend or early nextweek.

Sorry I went on and on, just needed to get my frustrations out and hopefully get some good feedback.

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September 25th, 2012, 01:17 AM
doremi's Avatar Team Blue Mama of Two
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 17,495
From a medical standpoint, I would lean towards saying your next pregnancy would not be any higher risk, assuming your m/c was early (I don't know your story), because they probably do not see your early deliveries and your miscarriage as being related in any way. However, a good OB listens to their patient's and will do what they can to calm their anxieties. You obviously (and understandably) are going to be anxious about your pregnancy the next time around. So, you need an OB who will be willing to do beta's and take a peek with vaginal u/s as soon as your numbers get high enough. As for the progesterone, it is pretty normal for them not to prescribe it after only one loss, unless you have a proven underlying medical problem. My OB did not prescribe the progesterone until after my second loss. To me, it seems like your chances of miscarriage are not raised any higher based on your previous pregnancies, but I would definitely agree with your OB that you should be treated as high risk as you enter your 2nd and 3rd trimesters given your history of early labor. Good luck to you! Fwiw, I'd switch to a doctor you felt exceptionally comfortable with. It makes ALL the difference when going into a pregnancy after loss.
Mommy to two beautiful boys, watched over by two angels in heaven

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September 25th, 2012, 09:40 AM
mrskristinmack's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 811
Thank you very much for that advice. I was 9.5 weeks along with the m/c. Think I was looking for my doc to say those exact things you said that whatever I can do to make you feel at ease that is within my medical powers, I will do. And she just kind of said that, but not really.

I do hope I find a doctor that just seems to care about me personally and not just another patient in their office that they are trying to check off their list and go onto the next.

Thanks again!

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September 25th, 2012, 10:43 AM
miniRazz's Avatar <3 my rainbow baby
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 931
I go to a maternity clinic and went through a few awful dr's (throughout my 2 mc's) and finally found the most amazing one (more like a midwife than a dr). Having someone that cared so much really helped me through the process.

They didn't do anything for me with the first one, but now that I've had 2 they will put me on progesterone as soon as I get pregnant again. Do beta's right away and u/s so I can finally hear a heart beat.
Definitely keep searching until you find someone that actually cares, it makes such a difference.
Good luck
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